Dad jokes and Miscellaneous: Today, I told my parents that I was going to hang out with some...

By Anonymous - 08/02/2013 22:38 - United Kingdom - Romford

Today, I told my parents that I was going to hang out with some friends. My dad guffawed and said, "Ooh, look at Mary, pretending she has a social life." Thanks, Dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 445

You deserved it 3 317

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By cloudberry - 27/05/2012 08:00 - United States - Astoria

Today, I told my mom I was going out to hang out with some friends. She looked me dead in the eye and said, "Don't lie to me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 770

You deserved it 2 730

By unloved - 23/03/2009 18:34 - United States

Today, my parents told me they were going out for dinner tonight. I jokingly responded "Sweet! I am totally having a keg party then!" My dad responded "Keg parties are only for kids who have friends." He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 942

You deserved it 8 713

By areyoukiddingme - 07/01/2013 06:09 - United States

Today, I came out to my parents. They laughed in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 477

You deserved it 6 689

By loser - 17/02/2009 23:33 - United States

Today, in front of the entire family, I yelled at my mom and told her she wasn't a good parent. She responded with "Well, at least I had friends when I was your age." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 009

You deserved it 52 120

Caught in 4K

By its_all_legit - 19/03/2009 03:47 - United States

Today, my parents, who are out of town but driving back tomorrow, called to see how I was doing. They asked if I'd thrown a party in their absence, and I said no. My dad replied, "Well I'm currently looking at pictures on Facebook of our kitchen with beer and a bong on the table." FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 464

You deserved it 127 826

Toxic people

By Anonymous - 05/10/2022 17:30

Today, I went out with my parents and a family friend. After saying goodbye to the friend and as soon as the elevator doors shut, my parents started trash-talking the friend's looks, stature, choice of clothes, etc. Now I understand a lot about my education growing up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 111

You deserved it 110

He's still got it

By Anonymous - 26/10/2019 00:01

Today, my dad got drunk at a party and flashed me and my friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 705

You deserved it 151

By hateskool888581 - 12/01/2010 00:28 - Mexico

Today, I went to a nearby nightclub with some friends and the girl I've been flirting for weeks. We were having a good time until this girl and two of her friends got back complaining about some "drunk-old-perverts harassing them". It looks like my dad and his friends are having a good time too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 921

You deserved it 2 347

By FriendlessLoser - 17/08/2016 07:11 - United States - Bristow

Today, it's again one of many times my mom dropped me off at the mall to hang out with friends. Since I have no friends, I shop by myself and always tell her I had "so much fun". FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 674

You deserved it 2 732

Thanks guys

By Anonymous - 22/07/2009 18:41 - United States

Today, I decided to dress up a little to go out to the bar. I put on a nice shirt, some leggings, and heels. When I walked out the door, my dad said that I looked like a whore. When I got to my boyfriend's house I told him what my dad had said and he replied, "I'd have to agree with him." FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 704

You deserved it 62 346

Teyros 24

Saturday 9 February 2013 2:15

Bring your friends over and show him up!

XxDevilxXGt 26

Saturday 9 February 2013 2:30

OP would be a bit late on the comeback though, just sayin'. :P Later that day: OP:"By the way dad, you can't even pretend because you KNOW you don't have friends!" Dad: "Honey, you probably had to browse the internet to come up with that." OP: *runs away to post another FML*

Comments

R00ST3R 12

Saturday 9 February 2013 17:33

Best part of this FML is that OP posted as anonymous yet says her name in the FML is posted. Epic Fail.

CheeseHater 23

Saturday 9 February 2013 19:47

You know, she might've just left it blank because she forgot about it. Don't be such a downer.

sonnyrosa 32

Saturday 9 February 2013 20:12

I don't know why I found this so funny... but you just made my day

ulissey_fml 22

Saturday 9 February 2013 20:39

teach him a lesson: Mary me.

60cent 7

Saturday 9 February 2013 22:51

Show him some pictures of your friends if u cannot invite them OP.

Iniezian 18

Sunday 10 February 2013 3:52

Teach him a lesson. Have sex with 3 guys and text him the pics, along with the caption "Does this count as a social life?" *This was totally worth all the thumbs-downs I'm gonna get. Lol.*

imanassholetoo 8

Sunday 10 February 2013 15:26

Do you look like Meg?

NHope_fml 17

Sunday 10 February 2013 20:28

I like how the FML is Anonymous but we got the name of the writer in here xD By the way, FML. It world be hard to figured out how much your father do not know you...