Kids: Today, I told my son to go clean his mess of a room. He yelled,...

By Anonymous - 25/07/2012 10:54 - United States - Murrieta

Today, I told my son to go clean his mess of a room. He yelled, "Dobby has no master! Dobby is a free elf!" and walked off. He turned 18 a week ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 554

You deserved it 13 832

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 16/10/2012 01:19 - United States - Evansville

Today, my parents gave me a sock and card for my eighteenth birthday. The card said, "Now that Dobby is free, get out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 700

You deserved it 3 935

Potterheads, man…

By Anonymous - 14/04/2012 02:06 - France

Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 822

You deserved it 62 080

Teenage Riot

By Anonymous - 30/05/2021 11:00

Today, my son had a screaming meltdown because I told him to clean his own room and that I refuse to be treated like his personal maid. He’s 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks 942

You deserved it 369

By independant - 08/11/2018 08:30 - United States - Corvallis

Today, my son turned 18. He now calls me by my first name instead of "dad" and refuses to stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 748

You deserved it 565

Grow up

By Anonymous - 08/04/2024 17:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I cleaned my 21 year-old son's bedroom from top to bottom. When he got home from work all he could do was complain that the clothes that were on his "floordrobe"’ were "only worn once." This was my only day off, so why do I bother? FML

I agree, your life sucks 209

You deserved it 671

By oldmama728 - 28/04/2011 11:07

Today, I once again told my son he needed a job and a girlfriend because I simply could not keep him in my house anymore. He yelled, "No, I can do whatever I want!" Then went back to playing video games. He's 38. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 375

You deserved it 46 381

By Anonymous - 02/08/2013 15:29 - United States - Denver

Today, I turned 17. My parents completely forgot it was my birthday, and when I reminded them, my dad thought it was my 18th. He was ecstatic and mentioned that I can "finally get the hell out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 517

You deserved it 3 459

By Anonymous - 21/07/2014 22:14 - United States - Bronx

Today, I visited my dad. He gave the, "You live under my roof, you follow my rules" lecture since I didn't do my "chores". I moved out 3 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 530

You deserved it 3 627

By CollegeBound - 17/08/2012 19:55 - United States - Tully

Today, at age eighteen, I finished moving out of my parents' house and into my own. The only person to even remotely give a shit was my sister, and that was only because I was taking the cat with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 261

You deserved it 2 367

Get Out

By Anonymous - 25/07/2013 06:04 - Australia - Mulgrave

Today, I came home to find that my mother had cleaned my room, and she'd done a very good job, too. So good in fact, that she even managed to remove all of the furniture, replacing it with a note that said, "It's time to go, sweetie XO". FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 144

You deserved it 8 137

stephanyk2 7

Wednesday 25 July 2012 18:55

Your son sounds awesome.

luckylea24 7

Wednesday 25 July 2012 18:56

You didn't give him a sock did you?

Comments

wigginz 8

Tuesday 12 August 2014 16:32

Gotta love Dobby...

anoblet 6

Friday 29 August 2014 17:01

Awesome

blamemysister 1

Thursday 25 December 2014 5:13

"Dobby" will also be homeless.

LaurenSullivan 14

Friday 27 March 2015 3:12

I turn 18 in about a month so this is pretty much how I'm gonna act

Sansational_ 18

Wednesday 23 March 2016 20:45

win.

Sulphuric_Glue 16

Friday 25 March 2016 0:38

And the problem is?

becca9985 34

Wednesday 15 June 2016 23:40

Show him the meaning of freedom by showing him the door.

Hutchie931 15

Saturday 10 September 2016 19:10

Tell Dobby to go get his own place then!

burnforeternity 30

Friday 4 November 2016 22:56

I he lives with you, you're in charge

Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Weddings Love My ex AITA Jealousy Friends Poopoo peepee Health Embarrassing Relatable Mental health Therapy Parenting Kids Thanksgiving Covid Argument Medication Ironic Cute Sports Proposal Annoying Snow Cold weather Cheating Work Money

The Top

Today, my roommate drew a giant red penis and scrotum on our refrigerator, using what he thought was a dry erase marker. It was a permanent marker. I just renewed my lease. I get to look at a red penis every day for the next year and a half. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 235

You deserved it 5 157

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 493

You deserved it 15 058

The Top

Today, I finally got up the nerve to leave my boyfriend. We have no spark and quite honestly, it's been really awkward. I planned to tell him when he came in, and I did. After all was said and done, he handed me the roses and new puppy he had bought for me, a puppy that I had been saving up to get. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 225

You deserved it 1 332

Today, I bought an $80, "invincible" phone case. One test drop later, my phone had turned into an expensive paperweight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 861

You deserved it 35 000

Today, I failed a CAPTCHA seven times before completing it. They didn't lie when they said they are making them harder. I don't think I'm a robot, but maybe I should get tested. FML

I agree, your life sucks 309

You deserved it 118

Today, an old guy approached me and asked if I had ever seen an elephant with white ears. I shook my head. He then pulled the pockets out of his shorts and whipped out his sex nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 358

You deserved it 4 735

Today, my cat woke me up an hour early so I could listen to my neighbors having sex at 6 a.m. My husband died 6 months ago, and was very sick for the previous 4 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 125

You deserved it 171

Today, when asked for a second date, I had to explain to a man that I didn’t want to see him again, and that he should give women compliments and ask them questions when on a date. He then told me he only does that when his dates look good or say something interesting. He sure still tried to fuck me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 364

You deserved it 329