Kids: Today, I told my students that I would be absent tomorrow because...

By spanishteach - 07/05/2009 14:50 - United States

Today, I told my students that I would be absent tomorrow because my wife was giving birth. They burst into applause... not to congratulate me on the new baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 270

You deserved it 13 682

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Same thing different taste

Nervous

By R…… - 28/10/2009 22:29 - United Kingdom

Today, at work, we were gathered to be told some bad news. One of our colleagues would be taking indefinite leave because his wife had dropped their newborn baby. I accidentally laughed at the image. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 683

You deserved it 61 821

By Anonymous - 01/12/2010 14:14

Today, I told my students that I would be taking a few weeks off because a member of my family is very ill. They all cheered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 487

You deserved it 9 673

By Anonymous - 10/01/2016 02:17 - United States - Akron

Today, I found out that I'm going to be a father. Too bad I can't tell my wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 802

You deserved it 79 051

By Acu7519 - 16/04/2018 15:00

Today, at my job as a 2nd grade teacher, I was explaining to my students how I'm pregnant and will have to take a break from teaching after I have my baby. One of my students replied with "Ooooooooohhh Ms. Johnson had sex!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 200

You deserved it 851

News to me

By RBEE - 12/12/2009 18:02 - France

Today, my colleague rushed off to the hospital for the birth of his first son. Having met his wife at the Christmas party a couple of years ago, I called to congratulate her. Shame I didn't realize it was his mistress having the baby. Guess who broke the news to the wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 754

You deserved it 4 180

By wifeofafainter - 24/09/2015 06:31 - United States - Bronx

Today, I told my husband I was pregnant, then he fainted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 421

You deserved it 3 070

By Quiteannoyed - 09/03/2013 10:35 - Finland

Today, I received several texts congratulating me on my pregnancy. It turns out that my husband announced he is going to be a father on Facebook, which I don't use. I'm not pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 247

You deserved it 2 898

How d'you think?

By Anonymous - 02/04/2020 02:00

Today, I announced my pregnancy to my boss. I was expecting all sorts of reactions, except, "But... Erm... How did that happen?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 657

You deserved it 196

By Xandar - 09/11/2018 17:30

Today, I was told by my wife that we were going to be parents. We are both females. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 456

You deserved it 520

By JG - 10/05/2012 11:48 - United States - Melbourne

Today, my friend thought it would be funny to announce to the class that I finally got a girlfriend. I received a standing ovation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 412

You deserved it 4 208

NoBounceNoPlay 0

Thursday 7 May 2009 20:18

So, you're that teacher who everybody hates but is never absent, huh?

3lonelyhearts3 0

Thursday 7 May 2009 20:10

Kids are always like that. why is this an fml?

Comments

iMandy33 0

Tuesday 11 August 2009 9:58

All kids are like this, they just want a sub To slack off. They say woo and stuff even if Its a great teacher.

cmac86 23

Friday 14 August 2009 7:21

well, what did you expect? if you're teaching anything below college they're gonna hate to have to go to class. nothing personal I'm sure.

Shanaynayx3 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 9:06

Maybe they were applauding the fact that u got laid :)

Quet 0

Wednesday 4 November 2009 23:52

How do you know? Did you ask?

Sniper3000 0

Saturday 27 February 2010 21:23

students like it when teachers are absent :D

dsegui4 0

Sunday 28 February 2010 18:24

haha ur life sux srry

ryguy997 0

Tuesday 13 April 2010 0:25

why us your profile pic so disgusting?

Mvhawks 0

Sunday 15 August 2010 10:17

**** you.

crazysoccer 0

Sunday 2 January 2011 10:54

****!

cowmeleon 2

Tuesday 11 January 2011 6:45

I did that to my teacher a couple weeks ago!!! except mine was a silent fist pump and mouthing YES! that he happened to see o.O

Keywords

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Today, I wrote a submission to FML and I realized that I could be doing so much more with my life than this. I mean really, I have real life stuff to deal with, and I don't have the time to be reading these s*itposts, much less making my own. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77

You deserved it 514

Today, I ran into my ex at the mall. He’s married, with a 2 year-old. Three years ago he ended our 6-year relationship because he said he didn’t believe in marriage and kids. Sorry for not being good enough to achieve those things with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 126

You deserved it 224

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Today, I encountered one of my professors from college. Back when I was in his game theory class, he publicly criticized me for falling asleep and not paying attention, to which I retaliated by acing all of his exams. Four years and a degree later, I met him again... while working at Pizza Hut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 804

You deserved it 12 837

Today, my roommate demanded that I dance naked for him as a birthday present. When I declined, he offered to pay me. When I declined again, he stormed off to pout in his room and played really loud depressing music. We're both guys and I have 11 months left on my lease with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 558

You deserved it 3 729

Today, I bought a cool new pair of sunglasses. I wore them today, and all day I kept getting comments about how much I looked like Ozzy Osbourne and John Lennon. I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 419

You deserved it 13 329

Today, my boyfriend of two years broke up with me for not closing the door when I pooped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 400

You deserved it 1 347

Today, I finally hooked up with the boy of my dreams at a party. Later, while on AIM, I noticed one of his friend's away messages was a quote from the guy's screen name, which said, "I can't believe what I stick my dick In sometimes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 734

You deserved it 12 466

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me in front of an entire street of people. We've only been dating for a week. One of the women in the crowd then called me heartless and threw a hamburger at me when I turned him down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 371

You deserved it 9 657

Same thing different taste

Nervous

News to me

How d'you think?

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