Animals: Today, I took a big sniff of a flower in my garden. I spent the... - FML

By FlowerPower - 20/07/2009 21:32 - United States

Today, I took a big sniff of a flower in my garden. I spent the rest of the morning blowing little bugs out of my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 847

You deserved it 18 291

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Same thing different taste

By lyinginbed - 04/06/2016 19:45 - United Kingdom

Today, I was walking through a field with my boyfriend and he picked me some pretty flowers. I hugged him and leant in to sniff them. In doing so, I inhaled a bee up my nose and had to force it out my swollen nostril after it had stung me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 340

You deserved it 1 185

Snug as a bug…

By Anonymous - 02/10/2019 02:01

Today, my nose had been feeling weirdly uncomfortable all day. After I got home, I blew my nose really hard. I found that a bug had been resting inside my nose the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 792

You deserved it 168

The smells of summer

By Anonymous - 02/09/2021 08:01

Today, I was sitting in the garden with a book, enjoying the fragrant summer breeze. That fragrance changed somewhat once my kittens discovered that the big mole hill next to me made an excellent toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 701

You deserved it 162

Take a load off

By MustyAtticMouth - 13/01/2024 05:00 - United States - Chesterfield

Today, a long day of work and a bad day for my mental health, I tried to relax with my wife, a movie, and a soda. After returning from using the bathroom, I took a swig to discover a particularly odorous stink bug had snuck into the can, now my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 531

You deserved it 104

By bugnose - 16/05/2011 06:26

Today, I noticed an extremely large bug buzzing around my room. After several attempts, I stomped on it with my shoe. I was trying to get a closer look at my victory when it flew into my nostril. Turns out it was just playing dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 934

You deserved it 9 132

By sneaky1324 - 18/08/2012 07:49 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I woke up by inhaling a fly up my nose, and feeling it twitching and slowly dying inside my nasal cavity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 944

You deserved it 2 208

By baugy - 11/04/2012 02:19 - United States - Orlando

Today, while outside, a bug flew up my nose. After I told my family and friends about a faint vibrating in my upper nostril, they all convinced me I was paranoid. That was until that night when I blew my nose and there was the bug in my tissue. Its leg was still twitching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 173

You deserved it 2 518

By Samantha Glennie - 13/07/2018 20:30

Today, due to the high pollen count and despite taking hay fever medicine, I passed out in the bathroom from not being able to breathe. My mother accused me of doing it on purpose to make her late for work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 714

You deserved it 235

Best day of my life

By Cherub - 03/05/2009 22:16 - United Kingdom

Today, it's my wedding day. It was meant to be perfect. The bouquet, along with a high pollen count, set my hay fever off. I walked down the aisle in front of 200 people with streaming eyes and a runny nose; I then had a sneezing fit during my vows and blew a large snot bubble. Real attractive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 093

You deserved it 7 827

By Anonymous - 16/04/2015 02:41 - Australia

Today, I got up feeling refreshed and positive for the first time in ages, so I happily threw my window open to greet the beautiful morning. A bee flew into my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 793

You deserved it 3 140

Next

Top comments

Ichigoner 0

Tuesday 21 July 2009 0:53

Imagine the bugs. Today i was crawling peacefully on a flower until some idiot sucked me up his nose. FML

so_me_fml 0

Tuesday 21 July 2009 1:39

...Maybe just gently inhale the scent instead of sucking it up to your brain?

Comments

Shyman4ever 0

Tuesday 21 July 2009 6:32

That's why I never approach nature by so close

AntiChrist7 0

Tuesday 21 July 2009 10:48

That's nature way of telling you to f*ck off. nice one, #9. Blackadder is great

ForTheFuckingWin 0

Tuesday 21 July 2009 11:02

Dumbass

c6dragster 0

Tuesday 21 July 2009 11:51

stop drop and roll STOP DROP AND ROLL then get naked (if you're hot)

cheesefest 0

Tuesday 21 July 2009 14:22

Amen.

Lemniscat 0

Tuesday 21 July 2009 13:23

Haha, that is hilarious!

DontYouWish 0

Wednesday 22 July 2009 3:46

I would like to see the bugs' FML :)

musicismyhotSEX 0

Wednesday 22 July 2009 7:09

Flowers really don't smell like all they're cracked up to be.

Alice_Renee 0

Wednesday 22 July 2009 19:59

haha nice one. XD

Stpatch754 0

Wednesday 22 July 2009 21:34

hu are you mary ******* poppins!?!? hu goes around just smelling flowers?!?!

ravar5 0

Sunday 16 August 2009 9:58

who smells flowers in there own garden i don't know maybe people who take the effort to grow flowers and we all know that the flower business is still around isn't it (i haven't been to my local nursery recently but I'm pretty sure there still selling flowers).

rakhil11 7

Thursday 27 August 2009 2:57

XD @ #30 and wow...how hard were u sniffing??!!

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The Top

Today, I have an HR meeting to discuss my team's performance. This is the same HR that refuses to hire more people because my department is full. The same HR that complains when tasks are completed late due to the team being overworked, yet refuses to take any suggestions. How do you give feedback to people like this? FML

I agree, your life sucks 443

You deserved it 75

Today, at work at an OB office, I heard a ruckus in the hallway before a very large woman burst into my room and tried to attack my very pregnant patient. Crazy lady is the wife of the pregnant lady’s baby daddy, who is nowhere to be found. I don’t get paid enough for this shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 499

You deserved it 64

The Top

Today, I had a DMV appointment I couldn’t miss. With my one year-old in the car, the anti theft system started going off and I couldn't get it to stop, so we just drove to the DMV with the car alarm going off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 716

You deserved it 163

Today, at work, yet another inappropriately stacked pallet fell on me. I thought for sure that I just hit a nerve. Nope, I fractured my arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 015

You deserved it 110

Today, it was my first day of work at a very high end company. While delivering coffee to my boss, I set it down on the edge of a magazine, where it spilled over, into his crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 432

You deserved it 7 420

Today, I have been teaching my 5 year-old step-daughter how to read and write. She came bounding up to me with a piece of paper and said, "look what I did". It was a letter that said "My dad misses my real mommy, not you". FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 202

You deserved it 5 004

Today, my boyfriend sent me a text saying to call him. When I did, it went straight to voicemail. It was a recording of him breaking up with me. He broke up with me over the phone, without even talking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 809

You deserved it 3 291

Today, as I was instructing our new third grade students about how our martial arts classes are safer than people think, someone broke their leg right in front of their innocent faces. They saw the bone sticking out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 385

You deserved it 1 073