Transportation: Today, I took a busy train into the city. I was lucky enough...

By WhatsThatSmell - 25/02/2011 13:25 - Australia

Today, I took a busy train into the city. I was lucky enough to get a seat. People were forced to stand in the aisle in front of me, and the person directly opposite me, whose butt was level with my head farted in my face. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 839

You deserved it 4 519

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Same thing different taste

By sleeper - 02/03/2010 05:05 - France

Today, I was on the train when I fell asleep. Everything would have been fine but I was suddenly jerked awake by the very loud sound of my own fart, followed by the stares of many strangers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 312

You deserved it 6 070

It wasn't me

By Banana - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Puerto Rico

Today, I was riding the train and someone farted. Everyone looked at me. People always blame farts on the fat guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 299

You deserved it 6 984

By Emmy - 02/10/2011 06:36 - United States

Today, while I was on the up escalator, a small woman in front of me farted directly into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 373

You deserved it 3 363

By Anonymous - 07/12/2010 04:53 - United States

Today, while sitting on the bus a stranger sat next to me, farted, put his hand under his butt to smell what it was like, and then sniffed it throughout the whole ride while glancing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 110

You deserved it 2 563

By Anonymous - 14/04/2016 17:04 - United States - Pittsburg

Today, I had to spend a long bus ride with my chest pressed against the window, because some mammoth of a woman decided to squeeze her double wide ass into my seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 597

You deserved it 2 680

By M.L. - 06/09/2009 21:09 - United States

Today, I went on a busy train. I packed myself in close to a very good looking woman and, too scared to say anything, looked out the window. After feeling a hand on my ass, I assumed it was her. To not ruin the moment, I didn't look back. After a few stops, I looked back. It was an old man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 471

You deserved it 12 789

Stuck

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I was on train when an attractive girl got on. There were no free seats and seeing as how my stop was next, I gave her mine. As soon as I did, the train came to an immediate halt, due to "brake problems". I spent the next 40 minutes standing up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 185

You deserved it 13 105

Powerful

By Noguestlist - 02/03/2011 08:16

Today, on the train, a cute girl gave me her number. After maybe half an hour, she went to her seat and I went to the toilet for a quick but loud and painful dump. I opened the door and saw her outside getting bitch-slapped by the smell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 568

You deserved it 9 951

By scarlet - 09/05/2011 15:02 - Canada

Today, on the bus, a large smelly man was sat next to me, pushing me against the divider and sliding into me on every turn. When he got up for his stop, his pants had loosened and his bare ass was staring me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 897

You deserved it 3 412

By DonMare - 22/04/2009 07:48 - Australia

Today, as I caught the train home, a woman got on and sat on the only available seat next to me. We got talking and as the train approached the next station, she said that this was her stop and she had to go. She exited the train and I turn to see her enter the compartment behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 634

You deserved it 7 677

RedPillSucks 31

Friday 25 February 2011 19:05

The down side of getting a seat in a crowded train. Next time, bring a chain saw. You'd be surprised how much personal space people will give you, crowded train or not.

drizzt6895 0

Friday 25 February 2011 19:10

Did you say "thank you sir may i have another"?

Comments

Autoshot 9

Saturday 26 February 2011 0:06

Ouch, that's a recipe for pink-eye.

jagd 0

Saturday 26 February 2011 0:08

admit it, if he were your boyfriend you would have loved it

Kenik 6

Saturday 26 February 2011 0:41

Personally I think you should've asked them to take your seat then YOU fart in their face XD

bigbadtim 7

Saturday 26 February 2011 1:36

Pink eye?

SarahStarzz 0

Saturday 26 February 2011 2:23

eeew FYL

my2centsworth 15

Saturday 26 February 2011 4:59

If you'd offered your seat to someone else, you wouldn't have been gassed.

BringYourOwnBomb 0

Saturday 26 February 2011 5:26

That's just wrong. FYL OP.

Bartimaeus 7

Saturday 26 February 2011 6:06

I know how you feel. Recently, I participated in and RFI (Regional Formal Inspection) for JROTC (Junior Reserve Officers Training Corps) at the military school I go to. It required you to stand "at rest" and "at attention" for at least an hour while you and the whole brigade were inspected by service men. Well... as a squad leader, I can only say I am glad I was on the end of my line. The fat kid next to me, the fat kid in front of me, and the idiot kid behind me ALL were FARTING up a storm. You weren't allowed to move. I gagged and they laughed- which only caused them to fart more. I turned my head to my right, gasping for fresh air, eyes watering, nose itching with the stench. My vision blurred and I thought I was going to pass out. The room spun around me. My senses were clouded over, I was practically in a coma. They kept farting. it was a competition. I was right in the middle. I almost died. So. I know what you mean about people who do that. (inhales deeply) You and me, we're survivors.