It wasn't me

By Banana - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Puerto Rico

Today, I was riding the train and someone farted. Everyone looked at me. People always blame farts on the fat guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks 34 279
You deserved it 6 980
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Same thing different taste

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Top comments

Cainicide 5

"What the **** you looking at?!" People will stop staring, and big guys are intimidating.

327 7
ICastillo 24

Well Op since everyone is already blaming you might as well let them go. Bombs away.

118 3

Comments

Cainicide 5

"What the **** you looking at?!" People will stop staring, and big guys are intimidating.

327 7
zachattack112492 4

Fat people are not intimidating... Let alone dating

15 82
Harpy20 24

They're just fluffy. Fluffy isn't intimidating.

42 5
sens3sfailing 24

Fluffy is lovable and love chocolate cake!

5 4
grizzly66 5

There's 2 different types of fat guys. The intimidating bikerish fat guys and the Jonah hill/Seth rogan fat guys, complete opposite ends of the spectrum

16 3
sens3sfailing 24

I don't believe jonah hill is fat anymore.

13 2
zachattack112492 4

Dang, I made at least 35 fat people angry

16 10
onlychildFTW 33

Muscle guys are intimidating. Fat guys aren't. A big difference between big with muscles and big with fat.

1 8
soccercreator7 3

109, you should try to make more sense before you go saying something

4 1
Eelam_star 2

You should called them out for what they were doing and make them look stupid :)

86 8
newbiehere99 6

OP calls out, "Whoever smelt it, dealt it.."

27 2
StalkerChick 13

When you assume, you make an ass out of u and me!

11 25
fmmfl1993 1

It's always about "u and me" Isn't it stalker chick?

56 2
StalkerChick 13

Wait.... I don't get it :/

5 26
BeaterOfTheDrums 15

You wouldn't.

25 3
StalkerChick 13

64- And you are...?

1 26
pmadNess 16

57/64- your profile pic... And you don't get it?...

8 0
Trollgod 13

It was an overly attached girlfriend joke

1 0
StalkerChick 13

Ohhh Thanks, 72 :)

1 7
Jawaggle 6

St33ph, you always blame me for the farts when we're in class!

1 0
st333ph 12

jawaggle, that's because you suck! HAHAHAHA

3 0
kurodansei 16

!?!!? You're comment has caused me to experience new levels of befuddlement.

39 1
Pleonasm 35

I like the fact that FML comments always keep me guessing. LIke guessing what the **** am I reading and what the hell comes into people's minds when they write this stuff.

34 3
tsent8 15

Pleonasm they were obviously near OP at ground zero when the gas was released you always have to factor In brain damage.

1 7
chrissy2 28

Pay rent of what? The train? That comment makes no sense...

1 0
andiewithlove 21

That's when you bring attention to the stench first. Point at the person across from you and look utterly disgusted. But don't overdo it OP! Then you'll be the fat guy who farted and tried to blame someone else!

11 41
Eelam_star 2

The person that brings attention first is always the one that farted.

3 15
thatonename 7

No, not always. There are those ones so vile the owner doesn't want to claim it but someone has to say something. But next time someone asks if you farted OP, stare them straight in the eye and say "nope, I just shat myself". I promise they won't ever ask again.

4 12
lilhellian 26

Yes, because shatting yourself is so much better. /sarcasm

0 8
kathbutter 12

12 didn't the FML just state that attention isn't always first given to the person who actually farted?

5 0
ICastillo 24

Well Op since everyone is already blaming you might as well let them go. Bombs away.

118 3
Cainicide 5

-riiiiiip- Now THAT ONE,THAT was me. Sorry.

25 1
TomPusslicker 21

That's when you hold your stomach, grimace and loudly mutter "God i hope its not diarrhea again"....almost guaranteed you will have enough empty seats around you to kick your feet up, and enjoy a good, relaxing chuckle.

7 0
SuperKnuckels 6

Life is like a fart. If you force it, its probably crap.

0 0
center 5

If this bothers you, I'll bet you spend you life being bothered by unimportant things.

0 1
zingline89 18

Yeah I always keep a Beagle in my backpack for long train rides

30 0
Pleonasm 35

I prefer hot-dogs, but I'm also partial to a good shih-tzu along the train ride, too

8 2
winkydog4056 16

#22_Beagles are better! And OP, well did you rip one or not!?

2 9
B_CeouL 12

Just point at whatever little girl nearby

3 25
tsent8 15

What the **** is wrong with your profile picture?!?!?!

6 0
B_CeouL 12

Dick ******** nipples!

0 0
zingline89 18

One of my good friends pulls that shit on me all the time. She drops the nastiest ass ever and people don't expect it's the cute girl. I'm not fat but it doesn't matter, they'll always blame the guy.

58 4