Health: Today, I took my puppy outside to play. At one point, she stopped...

By toadface - 04/08/2009 23:25 - United States

Today, I took my puppy outside to play. At one point, she stopped chewing on her toy and ran over to give me a big kiss all over my face and mouth. A few minutes later I realized that her chew toy was actually the dried up carcass of a toad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 518

You deserved it 7 983

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
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Same thing different taste

By SHIT-BREATH - 05/06/2013 16:03 - United Kingdom - Chepstow

Today, my puppy came into my room, and I cupped his head in my hands and bent down to kiss him. As I did, I realized that the part of his head I was kissing was covered in his own shit that he'd seemingly been rolling in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 497

You deserved it 15 110

By Anonymous - 15/12/2013 06:47 - United States - Fresno

Today, I was playing with my dog, when she started sniffing my face. Jokingly, I got up and started to sniff her face back and asked "Yeah, how do you like that?" She replied by biting into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 366

You deserved it 35 763

By anonamous - 12/03/2012 21:45 - United States

Today, I hugged my dog and kissed her on the side of the face. She responded by mauling me across my own face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 165

You deserved it 9 125

By Anonymous - 26/09/2014 19:44 - United States - Saint Louis

Today, my dog got so excited about a new toy that she vomited all over it. I had to clean up the vomit, throw away the toy, and now have a very sad dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 903

You deserved it 4 519

By Cedar Buero - 05/03/2017 19:00 - United States - Cape Girardeau

Today, my dog thought it would be a good idea to use my phone as a chew toy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 402

You deserved it 685

Good boy

By Anonymous - 09/12/2020 23:02 - Germany

Today, I told my mom that the puppy she was cuddling had a piece of dried poo stuck to its butt. Her reaction was to pluck the poo with her bare hands, put it on the coffee table next to my food, and continue cuddling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 960

You deserved it 129

By Pisser - 26/06/2014 04:57 - United States - Portland

Today, my sweet 7-month-old puppy ran up to a big fat dog at the park and did what she always does: roll over on her back to start to play. The big fat dog lifted his leg and peed all over my puppy's belly. After the shock, my soaking wet puppy jumped on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 187

You deserved it 5 723

By Caqtusmonkey - 25/08/2016 15:28 - United States - Arlington

Today, I heard my dog chewing on something. I called her over, held out my hand, and told her to drop it. She dropped it into my hand, and I was proud of her. That was until I realized it was cat poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 789

You deserved it 1 809

By Username - 02/08/2011 17:35 - United States

Today, I decided to play with my dog. I sat on the ground and whistled for him to come to me. I smiled when I saw him running at my happily. He sniffed me, turned around, lifted his leg and peed on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 475

You deserved it 5 305

By AD240Z - 16/12/2016 11:39

Today, while walking my dog in the darkness, I bent down to pick up his poop. I screamed like a little girl as his morning turd leapt up my arm, covering my hand and jacket sleeve in soggy poop. My dog had curled one out onto a dozing frog. I skipped breakfast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 612

You deserved it 646

Hacksaw 4

Wednesday 5 August 2009 9:08

D'awwwww. Puppies are the bestest.

xtraonionsnomayo 0

Wednesday 5 August 2009 9:11

That's puppy love for you.

Comments

kukopia 0

Wednesday 5 August 2009 20:02

YDI for letting your dog use something it found for a chew toy. A responsible dog owner would give it real chew toys and teach it to ONLY chew on them AND they would NOT let the dog chew on anything else until they learned that lesson. FtDL - Fvk the Dogs Life

Mooshki 0

Thursday 6 August 2009 0:14

Dogs lick their asses and eat puke & shit they find on their walks. NEVER let one give you a kiss.

jdizzle1245 0

Thursday 6 August 2009 1:38

I Seriously doubt that that was the only thing on his tounge.

morpher910 0

Thursday 6 August 2009 1:40

my dog eats out of the litter box of my cats. i much prefer cats, and hate when people come in and think he's just a cute little dog. -_-

fml_seriouslyfml 0

Thursday 6 August 2009 2:20

ydi for letting your dog lick your face... i love my dog, but i never let her lick my face... i know she licks her private parts (and chews on god knows what else) and i don't want that on my face... you should know better

ElNegroHombre 0

Thursday 6 August 2009 3:36

Don't you love puppies?

mumafiedmustangs 0

Thursday 6 August 2009 3:38

throwing the hell up thats whorable

hahafmls 8

Wednesday 4 July 2012 11:05

wtf?

Crlnprz 11

Thursday 6 August 2009 6:11

Ew.... why wud even let ur dog like u on ur face or mouth i dont let my dog do tht

cocky 0

Thursday 6 August 2009 7:20

wait.. you let a dog lick your face and you're worried about the ******* dead frog?! I'm gonna let you in on a little secret, you fucktard.. your dog licks his own asshole so the frog isn't quite so bad.