Miscellaneous: Today, I tried opening a can for the first time using a manual...

By Anonymous - 10/11/2010 17:14 - United States

Today, I tried opening a can for the first time using a manual can opener. I tried for a half hour to open a can of ravioli, mutilating the can in the process. Only after watching five Youtube videos on how to use a manual can opener did I notice the pull-tab on the top of the ravioli can. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 858

You deserved it 65 724

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Same thing different taste

By maryfaithh - 27/01/2012 16:30 - United States

Today, I tried to open a can with a potato peeler. For a minute I forgot what a can opener looked like. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 515

You deserved it 25 999

By razordot - 28/02/2019 09:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, after complaining all my life that no one makes a decent can opener, I have realised that I have been using them the wrong way. I finally figured out that the cutting blade goes on the SIDE of the can not the TOP. I'm 57 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 089

You deserved it 2 081

By afraidofcans - 23/10/2012 16:01 - United States - Stafford

Today, after years of being terrified of those biscuit cans that pop when you unwrap them, I finally decided I'd open one myself. I'm sitting in the hospital with a sliced hand from the lid and can feel therapy in my future. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 775

You deserved it 4 447

Fragile

By lithium-dreams - 16/07/2022 22:00

Today, I attempted to open a water bottle. My hand started bleeding before I was able to get the cap loose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 725

You deserved it 159

By tstaeger - 24/07/2010 05:20 - United States

Today, I tried drinking "Smart Water" for the first time. I couldn't figure out how to open the bottle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 425

You deserved it 37 822

Good morning!

By Anonymous - 28/05/2018 09:00 - United States - Fairbanks

Today, while I brewed myself a cup of coffee, my best friend began screwing around with a can opener like it was nunchucks. He looked at me and said, "Wouldn't it suck if-" as he flung it around and one of the handles flew off, directly into my testicles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 882

You deserved it 200

Good old gender stereotypes

By Brian - 05/11/2020 13:59 - Macedonia - Skopje

Today, I couldn't open a jar of mayo and my cousin had to open it for me. She's a 16 year-old girl and I'm a 24 year-old guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 523

You deserved it 806

Goober

By Anonymous - 25/02/2023 02:00

Today, at a local mini mart, I tried several times to open a door that clearly said "PUSH" by pulling it, much to the amusement to the customers and staff inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 219

You deserved it 783

By sillybrohos - 15/02/2009 06:06 - United States

Today, I spent 2 minutes struggling to cork a wine bottle for one of my tables only to have them eventually point out to me that the bottle was a twist-off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 312

You deserved it 33 802

First time

By februarymarchapril - 04/02/2015 03:45 - United States - Austin

Today, I shaved for the first time. My mum gave me a razor and I spent about 20 minutes trying to use it. I gave up, yelling, "FUCK IT!" and put it back on the shelf. It fell, and as it hit the floor, a lid fell off. I'd tried to shave with a sheathed razor for 20 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 663

You deserved it 42 871

jim69_fml 0

Wednesday 10 November 2010 22:07

seriously it's not that hard to use a manual can opener.... tard

tati3092 1

Wednesday 10 November 2010 22:03

hahah ur a little slow or alot

Comments

ginger20037 5

Sunday 30 December 2012 10:24

Here you go folks! The reason why most men don't cook! xD

TurkeySlab 9

Tuesday 5 February 2013 3:27

No hope for the human race. At all.

alliem199521 10

Friday 8 March 2013 15:31

Ur probably usd to an electronic one right? Stupid pretentious ****.

RKD 23

Thursday 1 August 2013 15:27

HA HA HA don't worry, OP, I have things like that!

tarbaby6193 6

Monday 19 August 2013 18:38

Ppl like u are why I have no faith left in humanity u should think about getting euthanized.

blackwidowtaco 31

Monday 26 August 2013 2:52

You must live a very sheltered life, op. Using a manual can opener is one of the first things I learned how to do when I got my first job.

NordicPride89 5

Saturday 1 February 2014 12:04

And the Darwin Award goes to...

smr1234 9

Friday 20 June 2014 3:37

really??? you must have been brought up a rich kid.

bopersonn 13

Wednesday 25 June 2014 0:45

HAHAHAHA FAIL

hegchog12 18

Tuesday 14 July 2015 20:54

I never knew there was any other kind of can opener.

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I agree, your life sucks 9

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Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML

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Today, I learned that the one face cleaner that actually works for me is no longer being made. I just ran out of the last of my supply last night, and I woke up to find my face completely covered in zits. FML

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You deserved it 120

Today, my dad got blind drunk at my son’s birthday party and decided to describe in bone chilling detail what “Hawk Tuah” meant to a bunch of kids. Hello therapy bill. FML

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You deserved it 104

Today, my flight from China to Moscow arrived late, making me miss my next transfer flight back home to Ireland. I had to wait for 24 hours for the next flight, without food vouchers, without a free hotel room, and without a free plane ticket that the airport was suppose to give. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 059

You deserved it 117

Today, my mom told me that she heard me and my best friend in my room grunting and talking about how hard we were. She said she loved me and accepted me no matter what. Thanks mom, but we were working out. FML

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You deserved it 5 757

Today, my new boyfriend asked to know the penis size of every other guy I’ve been with. There are a lot. FML

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You deserved it 905

Today, after being out of the closet for over three years, I learned that some of my friends still don't believe me that I am really a lesbian. They still think I made the whole thing up because I can't get a man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 018

You deserved it 8 071