Intimacy: Today, I tried to be sexy by pulling down my girlfriend's panties...

By :x - 03/02/2016 15:40 - United States - Richmond

Today, I tried to be sexy by pulling down my girlfriend's panties with my teeth. I didn't expect to be faced with the mother of all shit stains and start gagging so bad I nearly puked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 928

You deserved it 5 364

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Same thing different taste

By shitfaced - 18/09/2015 17:30 - Netherlands - Sassenheim

Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 675

You deserved it 9 516

By Anonymous - 16/08/2010 20:20 - United States

Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 922

You deserved it 6 674

Why would you do that?

By HughGorgy - 20/03/2009 05:37 - Canada

Today, after sex with my girlfriend, I thought it would be sexy to wear her underwear until we saw each other again. I found a pair in her bathroom, but they definitely weren't her sexy ones. Her mom walked in on me to collect the laundry and screeched, "What are you doing with my panties!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 387

You deserved it 103 233

By Anonymous - 01/03/2018 19:30 - United States - Greenville

Today, while wearing a sexy pair of undies for my partner and taking him out on a nice dinner, I trusted a fart walking from the car to the restaurant and shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 048

You deserved it 1 749

Self-own

By Anonymous - 20/01/2021 08:01

Today, out of nowhere, I started violently choking on my own saliva and shat myself in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 053

You deserved it 136

Gross out competition

By shattysituation - 31/12/2012 22:36 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 437

You deserved it 4 059

By UUUGHHH - 05/02/2016 20:33 - France - Villejuif

Today, I watched in horror from the other room as my boyfriend picked the biggest, slimiest booger I've ever seen, then lowered it into his mouth, and licked his finger clean. I very nearly threw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 171

You deserved it 2 719

By Anonymous - 18/02/2013 19:11 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 092

You deserved it 40 039

Grossed out

By Anonymous - 10/11/2018 14:00

Today, I was helping this girl to the nurse’s office because she was so sick that she could barely walk. About halfway there, she stopped and vomited on me. My jaw was dropped in shock when she threw up on me again. A little went into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 800

You deserved it 350

By Anonymous - 13/11/2009 00:05 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was throwing a birthday party and got very drunk. She needed help getting to the bathroom so I picked her up and walked her to the toilet. Assuming she needed to throw up, she instead takes a huge, monstrous crap right in front of me. I can't look at her the same ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 455

You deserved it 8 862

ananicosia 28

Thursday 4 February 2016 0:00

Time to educate your girlfriend on personal hygiene

spn_fanboy14 12

Wednesday 3 February 2016 23:59

Shit happens man.

Comments

rangersaprentice 8

Thursday 4 February 2016 22:51

I'd always made sure that I was clean when my boyfriend wanted to be kinky that night.

vikky538 28

Friday 5 February 2016 1:55

I read the state name as "vaginia"

stp9782 11

Friday 5 February 2016 2:53

Maybe she has gi problems I do and it ruins some underwear like that

uhmhaicats 14

Friday 5 February 2016 4:55

I'm sorry OP but there isn't really any excuse for poop stains in underwear. She should have thrown those things away a LONG time ago.

vintageart1994 16

Friday 5 February 2016 5:23

Do u still like her tho? That's what I wanna know

KagamineRinny 14

Friday 5 February 2016 5:36

it mightve been and more likely was an old period blood stain which is a lot less gross so hopefully it was

InsanityVerge 8

Friday 5 February 2016 7:02

are you sure they were not period stains they can look awefully similar and they don't wash out. some people have medical problems where there blood has iron deficiency and it can then look very very similar.