Intimacy: Today, I tried to take off my girlfriend's bra. When I finally... - FML

By HatedbyBras - 14/06/2009 21:37 - Netherlands

Spicy

Today, I tried to take off my girlfriend's bra. When I finally unhooked it, it snapped back and hit me in the eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 356

You deserved it 25 222

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Same thing different taste

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By fryebaby623 - 13/11/2015 05:47 - United States - Vero Beach

Today, I was so tired when I got home from work, I took off my bra without removing my shirt which I've done so often it is second nature. I successfully removed the bra, then snagged the clasp on a loose shirt thread, causing my bra to take on a life of its own and slap me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 286

You deserved it 3 218

Romantic move

By soomeone - 16/02/2010 19:28 - United States

Today, I went to the movies with my girlfriend. As I started putting my arm around her, I hit her in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 682

You deserved it 25 655

By Anonymous - 22/03/2011 05:54 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend in his bedroom. It was getting pretty intense, so he got up to close the door. While he was facing the other way, I took off my bra and sling-shot it so that it would hit him. Right when I let go of it, his mom walked in and it hit her in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 541

You deserved it 29 645

New moves

By Glassjaw - 01/08/2009 07:23 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend and I had gotten tipsy and found ourselves in the bedroom. We started to fool around and she leaned over to put her watch on the nightstand. I tried to undo her bra, which surprised her, because she elbowed me in the nose so hard that I ended up passing out from the pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 153

You deserved it 8 006

By shiftybizniss - 16/04/2009 18:43 - Canada

Today, I tried to sneak up on my girlfriend who was sitting in her car with one of her girlfriends. I snuck up to the driver's side window and tried to startle her by banging on the window. The window was down. My thumb went right in her eye. She has to wear a patch for 2 weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 190

You deserved it 69 391

Headshot

By Anonymous - 26/07/2021 14:01

Today, I was putting on my sweatpants and accidentally stepped on the elastic drawstring. I moved my foot. The string snapped upward with great speed and hit me in my open eye. My eyeball is not happy with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 816

You deserved it 119

Defeated

By Anonymous - 01/07/2012 23:08

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were in bed making out. He then tried to unhook my bra. After a full minute of trying unsuccessfully, he shouted "Fuck you, bra!" before hiding his face in the pillows. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 165

You deserved it 5 454

Wardrobe malfunction

By Unknown - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I decided to wear a tight, long-sleeved shirt that showed off my body. As I was trying to roll up my sleeves, I realized how tight the shirt really was. It wouldn't budge past my elbow, and I tugged so hard I ended up punching myself in the eye. I now have a swollen, black and blue eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 792

You deserved it 37 388

Really into it

By Anonymous - 08/11/2023 22:00

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my partner and we got very into it. I went to wrap my hand around his neck and somehow accidentally poked my finger in his eye socket so hard he ended up in emergency. He still can’t see properly out of that eye now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 337

You deserved it 227

By gimmeabreak0_o - 18/06/2010 07:18 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was with my girlfriend and thought it would be cool to rip off my shirt while we were making out. It wasn't. Her bed was under a bookshelf and my shirt didn't even come off. I busted my head while she busted up laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 281

You deserved it 38 784

Next

Top comments

funsize003 0

Monday 15 June 2009 1:04

good lord how do you manage her pants? they probably have a belt, with a buckle, and maybe a button or a zipper and EVERYTHING. ******* confusing.

AAAcheetahgrl 0

Monday 15 June 2009 1:02

were you taking it off with your mouth or something? seriously, bras are not that difficult...haha

Comments

Phillay632 0

Monday 15 June 2009 1:50

#33, yeah right. No guy is going to give up and walk away simply because he is struggling with an article of clothing. You'd be surprised with how much a guy is willing to endure in order to get some action. Even if she kept a rabid badger in her pants, the guy probably isn't going anywhere, because there is still a chance he could get some.

mouseintern 0

Monday 15 June 2009 1:51

Well at least you got it off. More than one guy has been stopped by a simple bra latch that is somehow suddenly locked down tighter than Ford Knox.

Vasir 2

Monday 15 June 2009 1:52

41 - No, it doesn't because spelling and IQ are different. Anyone can make a small typo.

heatherlk4 0

Monday 15 June 2009 1:53

i call BULLLLLLLSHIT.

missshortstack 0

Monday 15 June 2009 1:54

Thats not good, sorry dude.

funsize003 0

Monday 15 June 2009 1:55

44 k I was kidding but alright hahah.

aback 4

Monday 15 June 2009 1:55

You can get back at her first time she goes down on you if you know what I mean.

brown_eyed_girl 0

Monday 15 June 2009 1:55

go #44! shut up #47!

Vasir 2

Monday 15 June 2009 1:58

I'm sorry 47, but why do you hypocrite my spelling when your's isnt perfect either? Oh, kidding? Sorry.

Duckasaurus 0

Monday 15 June 2009 1:58

WHO IS HER?

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Keywords

Friends Love Awkward Miscellaneous Cute Haircut Relatable You're fired Work Cars Kids Parenting Family DIY Cats Intimacy Sex Am I overreacting? Management Poopoo peepee Capitalism Coworkers Frustration Animals ADHD Dogs Transportation Dating Health Anxiety

The Top

Today, I demanded to know why my boyfriend takes so long in public toilets. He admitted his ex was such a nasty ho, she would drag him into public toilets whenever she wanted dick in public. So now every time he goes in one, he gets a boner and has to "get rid of it" before he can come out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 138

You deserved it 350

Today, I spent an entire hour talking to someone at a party. I was feeling a real connection, only to find out halfway through the conversation that she wasn’t actually a guest, she was the caterer who just happened to be really nice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 306

You deserved it 192

The Top

Today, while cleaning behind a ladder, I banged my head on one of the hand rails. I stood up, cursed, and moved to the other side. To my luck, I hit the other side of my head. I now have two lumps perfectly placed as horns on my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 666

You deserved it 6 748

Today, my husband and I are temporarily moved into a cheap apartment in town until settlement for the house we are buying. So far, from my balcony, I’ve a watched a drug deal take place and a man scratch at the ground then lick his hands. It’s going to be a long three weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 844

You deserved it 241

Today, after getting home from the supermarket, I went to unlock the door so my dad could carry the groceries in. No matter how hard or how many different ways I tried, the lock wouldn't shift. My dad eventually grabbed the keys, twisted once, and after the door unlocked, called me an idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 539

You deserved it 10 618

Today, I was reminded that I used by dad's camera all summer to take naked pictures for boyfriend when my dad sent me an email saying: "FYI: when you delete pictures directly off the camera they get uploaded as trash files when the camera is connected to the computer." He saw them all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 081

You deserved it 85 401

Today, I went to grab a coffee at a new café in town. While sipping my coffee, I noticed a man staring at me through the window. I thought he was browsing the menu before I looked up mid-sip to him staring at me in the eye, sucking on his finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 496

You deserved it 977

Today, I haven’t relaxed since I was 12. If I was making good grades, doing extracurriculars, instead of allowing me to go out, my parents would accuse me of doing something bad and ground me. In college I burned out due to poor social development. Even though I have a job, I'm still a “bum.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 527

You deserved it 105