Miscellaneous: Today, I used a tanning bed at my local gym for the first time.... - FML

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By fishwizard - 02/06/2017 20:00

Today, I used a tanning bed at my local gym for the first time. I went in for the full allowed time of 9 minutes. I went to school after and everybody said I looked like Trump. Confused, I went to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. My skin is orange and matches with my bleach blonde hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 737

You deserved it 3 979

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Same thing different taste

Trumped

By Anonymous - 23/10/2019 18:00

Today, I decided to get a spray tan. I'm now more orange than the current president of the United States. FML

I agree, your life sucks 811

You deserved it 1 744

By missko519 - 22/05/2015 07:36 - United States - Broken Arrow

Today, I used a tanning bed for the first time ever, in an attempt to get a base tan for the summer. No one bothered to warn me that you shouldn't go the full ten minutes your first time. Now my skin is as red as my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 170

You deserved it 21 765

By Anonymous - 10/01/2011 19:06 - Denmark

Today, I decided to try a self-tanning lotion my friend had recommended. I put it on, and decided to take a nap. I woke up later and checked myself in the mirror, expecting to see a new, more tanned version of myself. I didn't. I'm now orange. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 588

You deserved it 39 991

By xXRowynXx - 05/09/2010 19:20 - Canada

Today, I bleached my hair for the new school year. Instead of blonde, it came out orange, making my hair look like a bloated pumpkin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 632

You deserved it 32 522

By Sally - 22/08/2011 00:17 - United States

Today, I got a spray tan. The lady asked what shade I wanted to be, and joking, I said the darkest. She took it seriously. Now no one can recognize me, and I have work tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 901

You deserved it 69 450

By run4fun - 23/06/2011 18:56 - United States

Today, I attempted to bleach my body hair so I wouldn't have to shave. A little while later, I realized that I'd also succeeded in bleaching my skin, which was incredibly noticeable. I'm hosting a pool party this weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 850

You deserved it 49 075

New, from L'Oréal!

By oompaloompa - 28/10/2019 12:00

Today, I used a self-tanning towelette to help even out my tan lines and disguise my vitiligo a bit. Now my stomach is orange and my spots are even more noticeable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 318

You deserved it 462

By Ellowise - 24/12/2009 10:06 - Belgium

Today, I used the tanning booth for the first time. Not only was I so white that I received first-degree burns all over my body, but I also forgot to remove my knee-high socks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 677

You deserved it 47 192

Sunscreen season is open

By Anna - 26/03/2025 00:00 - Mexico - Tijuana

Today, a day after I went to the beach and fell asleep in the sun without applying sunscreen, I woke up to find myself looking like a lobster, with the worst tan lines possible. On top of that, I had to go to a wedding, and when I walked in, my cousin asked if I had “taken a bath in some tomato soup.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 131

You deserved it 541

Jumpy

By tgstreaks - 23/04/2009 05:44 - United States

Today, I got a spray tan for the first time. Naked, I climbed into the booth. When the machine started I became frightened by the loud roar of the spray and couldn't breathe. I pissed myself out of fear. I now have river-like streaks down both legs where the pee washed my tan away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 913

You deserved it 91 047

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Top comments

Arashikage 18

Friday 2 June 2017 20:05

Did you not look in the mirror between the time you got out of the tanning bed and when you got to school t

neuronerd 28

Friday 2 June 2017 20:21

Do you eat a lot of carrots? I've only seen people look orange with spray tans, not natural tans.

Comments

Armeniangirl_fml 15

Monday 5 June 2017 20:51

take a bath with lemons, it'll lighten your skin

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