Miscellaneous: Today, I've been living in Kenya in a nasty apartment for so...

By kenyaliving - 13/02/2013 22:04 - Kenya

Today, I've been living in Kenya in a nasty apartment for so long that when I looked down into my drink and saw a dead fly, I just picked it out and continued drinking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 890

You deserved it 5 585

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Same thing different taste

The passenger

By F.L.Stubbs - 05/08/2023 00:00 - United States - Virginia Beach

Today, I was drinking coffee at work, while being surrounded by a lot of flies in the area I was working. Later, in the evening, I found a fly under my bottom denture plate. It'd been there for about 12 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 700

You deserved it 140

By Human fly - 21/04/2013 06:20 - Canada - Maple Ridge

Today, I put up one of those hanging fly catchers in my room due to the unsettling amount of flies in the house. I remarked how stupid flies were to land on them. Within an hour, I got up and walked straight into it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 100

You deserved it 46 458

By jess - 07/03/2010 14:08 - South Africa

Today, I had a sip of my coffee and felt a lump of some kind enter my mouth. I thought it was a bit of biscuit, and then remembered I didn't have biscuits this morning with my coffee. I took it out of my mouth and it was a huge black fly. I then spat the rest of my coffee all over my laptop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 032

You deserved it 4 689

By Shinobi_3 - 26/02/2010 17:43 - United States

Today, while I was eating, a fly kept pissing me off. After three minutes of it buzzing around, I caught it and killed it. Then, without realizing it, I smeared its guts all over the front of my shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 837

You deserved it 29 329

Crunchy

By Anonymous - 07/08/2024 12:00 - Denmark - Randers

Today, I made a smoothie with all the healthy ingredients I could find. As I took my first sip, I realized too late that I had accidentally blended in a dead fly that had fallen into the blender. FML

I agree, your life sucks 337

You deserved it 155

Added protein

By Anonymous - 10/02/2021 00:30

Today, I was drinking lemon juice through a straw. After finishing half of the drink, I noticed there was a cockroach in my straw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 949

You deserved it 192

Tasty

By Anonymous - 06/11/2009 14:31 - Denmark

Today, at a party, a fly flew into my mouth. I spat it out, and in an effort to wash my mouth out, I grabbed the can of coke that was on the table next to me. Apparently people had been spitting in there and using it as an ashtray. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 749

You deserved it 9 824

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By hantavirus - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I found out that the horrific smell coming from somewhere in my kitchen was a rotting dead mouse that somehow got stuck in my dishwasher. I have been eating off plates washed in dead mouse water for the past week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 353

You deserved it 11 510

By pukeytimes - 10/04/2015 23:03 - Australia - Leichhardt

Today, I decided to do a good bit of spring cleaning. When my apartment was finally spotless I went to lie down. I woke up later to find my drunk flatmate passed out in a puddle of her own puke on the living room's carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 842

You deserved it 2 260

By Disgusted - 04/02/2011 02:14 - United States

Today, I learned that my house's fly infestation is worse than I thought. I now have maggots crawling and dropping from my ceiling. I have to sleep under them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 252

You deserved it 10 760

Grootensliven 10

Thursday 14 February 2013 8:00

And not a shit was given that day

Lucia_Malpense 14

Thursday 14 February 2013 8:00

At least you haven't gotten to the point where you drink it fly and all.

Comments

Satoaoi 13

Thursday 14 February 2013 8:42

oh how sad. I hope u find a good home soon. you deserve it

verkaderk 9

Thursday 14 February 2013 15:47

How would you know? What if OP is a serial killer on the run???

buckdharma 36

Thursday 14 February 2013 8:53

I got a feeling Op is'nt drinking water.

Enslaved 36

Thursday 14 February 2013 9:19

How Kenya tell?

iammeorami 25

Thursday 14 February 2013 9:07

Wow, I've been to Kenya and have gotten leaves of bread with flies in them............ Really gross

melons 44

Thursday 14 February 2013 10:47

That was fruit cake, not bread.

Enslaved 36

Thursday 14 February 2013 9:15

Not without yelling "Spit out my beer, you thieving bastard!"

LaurenAshleigh97 12

Thursday 14 February 2013 9:21

I think it's funny how everyone has automatically assumed OP is drinking beer

Enslaved 36

Thursday 14 February 2013 9:26

Yep, Corona Beer! Damn Spanish Fly!

Tiana_34 4

Thursday 14 February 2013 10:26

Kenya believe it?! had to be done.

misslysiak 23

Thursday 14 February 2013 10:59

I do that all the time. I didn't realise that it was a bad thing.

StanSmith2013 26

Thursday 14 February 2013 11:14

Looks like I will be having fun out there, when I go on safari in 2014!

KiddNYC1O 20

Thursday 14 February 2013 13:50

Damn, who knows how many turds the fly dove in before diving in your water...

Cupcake040 17

Thursday 14 February 2013 13:54

Protein?

Keywords

Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Sleep Work Love Dating Annoying Am I overreacting? Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Relatable Medication Dogs Animals Teenagers Ironic Video games Gamers Zoom

The Top

Today, I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I can only have sex with really fat men, because that’s what turns me on, yet as soon as the sex is over, through no fault of theirs, I have to run to the toilet to be sick because I can’t believe what I just had sex with. I’m so messed up in the head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 905

You deserved it 2 524

Nooooo, I'm not interviewing Candy Staton, and nooooo I'm not going to talk about the Avengers but guys this isn't 9gag so let me introduce you to the fresh new artist we're welcoming today! She's a lovely lady who lives in Vancouver and she's the au...

I agree, your life sucks 15

You deserved it 15

The Top

Today, after being sick all day with the flu, I asked my husband to wash the dishes after I went to bed. He said he couldn't because he had a large, important project for work that needed to get done. I woke up a couple of hours later to find him smoking weed on the couch and watching cartoons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 809

You deserved it 2 418

Today, my girlfriend posted “Alexa, play 'Flowers' by Miley Cyrus” as her Facebook status, all because I didn’t return her 14 missed calls. Apparently, taking an online proctored exam, which required absolute concentration counts as “talking to other women.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 051

You deserved it 123

Today, I'm crushing so hard on my male roommate that I've basically become a doormat for him. Meanwhile, he's on the phone for hours with the pretty girl he met over Tinder. I feel pathetic, stupid and jealous, which I have no right to be. Worst part, we're still quarantined together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 678

You deserved it 776

Today, my therapist told me to write any negative thoughts that I had on a piece of paper and then set fire to it. When I lit it in the trash can, huge flames broke out and I had to throw the trash can out my window to keep from setting my house on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 409

You deserved it 40 990

Today, while my plane took off, I was forced to sit and watch as somebody rear-ended my car in the parking lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 654

You deserved it 4 729

Today, I made plans with my boyfriend for some "alone time" after work. I then stepped on some black ice in the parking lot, landed on my head, and got sent to the ER. Per protocol, until cleared by a specialist, I am not permitted to work. Or drive. Or drink. Or do anything "strenuous". FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 123

You deserved it 247

Same thing different taste

The passenger

Crunchy

Added protein

Tasty

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