Intimacy: Today, I walked in on my boyfriend masturbating furiously. To...

By May - 04/09/2011 04:08 - United States

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend masturbating furiously. To Star Trek. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 814

You deserved it 6 263

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Beam me up!

By saynotochrispine - 28/07/2009 04:15 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me that we could try living out one of his fantasies. When I showed up ready to go, he began playing the theme song to Star Trek and asked me to call him Mr. Spock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 313

You deserved it 7 959

By NOKHAN - 25/10/2013 17:17 - United States - Durham

Today, my boyfriend and I watched Star Trek Into Darkness together. He liked it so much that he's now chosen to yell "KHAAANNNNN!" as he cums. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 112

You deserved it 7 252

Zigazig Ah

By Anonymous - 17/12/2017 01:30

Today, I walked in on my fiancé while he was masturbating to the Spice Girls movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 377

You deserved it 809

Blown job

By Noname - 12/03/2009 09:30 - New Zealand

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 955

You deserved it 339 270

Classic Dave

By Sarahir - 29/04/2020 05:00

Today, I walked in on my husband masturbating into the kitchen sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 196

You deserved it 406

By Anonymous - 30/01/2015 20:16 - United States

Today, I walked in on my husband jacking off to a photo of himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 195

You deserved it 4 507

Talk to me baby

By fizzie101 - 18/10/2014 21:43 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend jerking off to what I thought was porn on his phone. He was actually beating it to Siri's voice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 504

You deserved it 4 695

Pink Lightsaber

By Obi-Wan - 08/09/2019 04:00 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, I walked in on my 17 year-old son masturbating. He froze, raised his hand and tried to use the "force" to remove the memory. I'm regretting ever having let him watch Star Wars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 854

You deserved it 474

By Anonymous - 25/09/2013 21:33 - United Kingdom

Today, I walked in on my roommate whacking off to clown porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 242

You deserved it 7 063

What the…

By bunny - 16/08/2009 13:58 - United States

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend humping my stuffed rabbit. I thought he was trying to be funny until I saw that he had an erection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 339

You deserved it 5 007

mshoes12346 3

Sunday 4 September 2011 12:16

did he name his dick spock too? ;)

roxysoxy 0

Sunday 4 September 2011 12:16

well that's disturbing.

Comments

chilldude69 8

Sunday 4 September 2011 17:43

so i'm guessing he had the deer in headlights effect.

Buzzy123 7

Sunday 4 September 2011 17:47

"Commander we are about to eject a milky fluid....Wait! Your female owner has walked in quickly switch to ****!"

sko12342 3

Sunday 4 September 2011 17:50

Spock is pretty sexy... So...

kayvan 8

Sunday 4 September 2011 17:54

Need more info before saying whether it's an FML or not. What was he masturbating to? Spock? Kirk? Or some hot alien girl?

ZynetriaJ13 0

Sunday 4 September 2011 18:00

Weird. that would be a definite reason for me to dump him.

HeyImJuli 3

Sunday 4 September 2011 18:22

Thank you! Fellow star trek inquiring minds need to know!! (and u forgot one of my favs- deep space 9)

allstar2000000 0

Sunday 4 September 2011 18:50

He rocks out with his Spock out

beezleboss2010 3

Sunday 4 September 2011 19:10

Wtf? I thought those were just jokes said about nerds, I didn't know ppl actually did it...

Beck2209 0

Sunday 4 September 2011 19:16

Maybe I should check this out sometime.

misterpanda 2

Sunday 4 September 2011 19:39

Live long and prosper ;)

Keywords

Love My ex Awkward Jealousy Friends AITA Health Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Sports Proposal Snow Cold weather Annoying Cheating Money Relatable Work DIY Kids Parenting Accident Parents ADHD Medication Weather Miscellaneous Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird

The Top

Today, my girlfriend and I were making love. Her phone rang, and she stopped to answer it. It was her ex-boyfriend, calling her from jail. She talked to him for 15 minutes. To top it all off, before she hung up, I heard her tell him she loved him, and couldn't wait for him to get out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 822

You deserved it 4 306

Today, there was a long queue at the store, and behind me were two senior citizens. I wanted to do a good deed, so I said, "Cut before me in line, I have all the time in the world." My reward? The old man scolded me because I supposedly insinuated that they were old, and only had a short time left to live. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 423

You deserved it 13 444

The Top

Today, I was excited to sleep in on my day off. My girlfriend woke me up at 6 am. To bring up an argument from a week ago. An argument about salad dressing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 978

You deserved it 118

Today, while lighting a cigarette, I learned the hard way that the amount of styling mousse I used to get my curly hair to become manageable, is the roughly same amount that causes it to become highly flammable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 996

You deserved it 31 956

Today, I asked my boyfriend to meet me in the park to talk. Just when I wanted to break up, he knelt down on one knee and proposed. I had to reject him in front of a whole crowd of people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 706

You deserved it 957

Today, at around 9:30 PM after a gym session and coaching a wrestling practice, I made myself a shake with some protein powder that my fiancée bought for me. Around midnight, I realized that I wasn’t very tired, so I looked at the box of protein powder. It contains 220 mg of caffeine per serving. I took a serving and a half. FML

I agree, your life sucks 623

You deserved it 390

Today, I took my very talkative toddler to a grocery store. As we passed a woman in an aisle, my kid pointed and said loudly, "Mummy, why does that lady have such a funny face?" I had to awkwardly apologize while my face went beet red. FML

I agree, your life sucks 360

You deserved it 88

Today, I was told I will receive no Christmas or birthday presents for the next 3 years because my parents paid for my rhinoplasty. I needed it because my 12-year-old brother smashed my nose with a hammer in a fit of rage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 973

You deserved it 294