Miscellaneous: Today, I walked into a gas station to get a bag of chips. Upon...

By lollipopgreen - 01/10/2011 12:33 - United States

Today, I walked into a gas station to get a bag of chips. Upon moving towards the counter to pay, I noticed the cashier had what looked like a golf ball stuffed in his cheek. I said to him in a joking manner, "That's a huge pinch of dip!" His reply, "It's mouth cancer." FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 621

You deserved it 51 710

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Same thing different taste

By DeniedAgain - 29/06/2009 04:04 - United States

Today, I walked into a gas station and saw some $.25 gum. It looked good and I thought I had a quarter in my pocket. I found no change in my pocket once I got to the register, so I pulled out my credit card. The cashier laughed a few seconds later when my card was declined for a piece of gum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 310

You deserved it 15 532

By Anonymous - 08/09/2011 19:51 - United States

Today, I went to my favorite drive-in burger joint for dinner. As I was nearing the end of my burger, I grabbed a cup from the cup holder that I thought was filled with soda. Instead, I got a mouthful of dip spit that a friend left in my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 413

You deserved it 8 018

By justmyluck? - 18/02/2011 03:02

Today, I ate at Chipotle. There was a girl sitting alone, so I asked if I could eat lunch with her. She said yes, and as I sat down I tried to open my bag of chips. When trying to do so, my hand slipped, and I punched myself in the face. She laughed, and promptly left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 099

You deserved it 7 790

Unfortunate

By Anonymous - 16/01/2021 08:01

Today, I was eating a bag of chips when one of the pieces broke off into a sharp point and when I chewed it, it stabbed into my gums. When I got up to wash the blood out of my mouth, I hit my big toe on my desk corner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 922

You deserved it 158

Keep some things to yourself

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Plymouth

Today, I overheard someone at the mall telling his friend, "So I'm going in for a brain scan." Trying to be funny, I piped up, "Better hope they find something!" Turns out that had been the end of his sentence, and the scan is to see if his cancer has spread. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 566

You deserved it 75 788

By yawho - 25/02/2009 07:25 - Japan

Today, a customer that I've been waiting on for years came into the restaurant after a long absence. I said to him, "Hey man, it looks like you lost a lot of weight! How'd you do it?" He replied, "I got cancer." FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 382

You deserved it 9 863

Nosferatu

By Kristache - 02/07/2009 08:31 - Canada

Today, at the restaurant I work at, I gave a man back his change and told him to enjoy the sunny day. He replied by dramatically saying that the sun was his mortal enemy. Thinking he was joking, I asked him if he was a vampire. Turns out he has skin cancer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 296

You deserved it 16 398

By Corn-ed-Teeth - 30/04/2019 18:00

Today, I bit into a barbecue-ed corn cob, forgetting I had a filling on my chipped front tooth. I re-chipped it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 495

You deserved it 784

Stiff upper lip

By Diana - 26/01/2024 00:00 - Germany

Today, I went to the dentist for a routine check-up, and halfway through the appointment, the dentist exclaimed, "Oops!" Turns out, he accidentally glued my lips together while fixing a tiny chip in my front tooth. I spent the next two hours communicating through exaggerated facial expressions and hand gestures. FML

I agree, your life sucks 529

You deserved it 86

Thanks, I hate it!

By Tay - 17/02/2012 01:29 - Australia

Today, while working as a receptionist at a health clinic a woman came to settle her account. Before she left, she held out her closed palm and asked if I could put something in the bin for her. I held out my hand and watched many bits of chewed fingernails land in my palm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 627

You deserved it 2 725

NoNotTheFace 8

Saturday 1 October 2011 16:16

At least you didn't make fun of him badly. It's not like you would know, right? "God must love you. He gave you a third ball."

ThatLooksSticky 16

Saturday 1 October 2011 16:17

Well...he probably has mouth cancer because of all the dip he's um, chewed? Sucked? Whatever you do with dip.

Comments

cuddlebunny3548 11

Sunday 2 October 2011 3:23

Your supposed to pretend like it's not there asshole

xMiss_Maggot 7

Sunday 2 October 2011 3:34

poor guy

tennischik211 11

Sunday 2 October 2011 4:03

Keep your comments to yourself.

Phendraana 0

Sunday 2 October 2011 4:18

dont feel too bad, that's probably how he got the mouth cancer to begin with.

woah1 0

Sunday 2 October 2011 4:32

I hope he's ok

fuckkyeaaaalaura 12

Sunday 2 October 2011 6:20

Awe , that's so sad . I hope you apologized jerk !

jjdominguez 0

Sunday 2 October 2011 6:22

Poor guy nd it's ok u didn't kno bt next time u suld probably not say anything

okiidokii_fml 6

Sunday 2 October 2011 6:26

Guys don't be mean! I think we all understand that he's an asshole who couldnt have know that he had mouth cancer.

copenhagenman 0

Sunday 2 October 2011 6:34

Yall all need to calm the hell down. Shit fire he didnt know hes probably used to seein dip in peoples cheeks and used to sayin somethin about it. OP was just bein himself he aint a asshole for that yall are the assholes!