Miscellaneous: Today, I walked into my upstairs bathroom to find my mom's new... - FML

By Lilragu97 - 26/07/2012 05:14 - United States - Exeter

Today, I walked into my upstairs bathroom to find my mom's new boyfriend eating soup, naked on the toilet. In shock, I stepped back and fell down a flight of stairs, backwards, and hit my head on wall, leaving a dent in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 365

You deserved it 2 395

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Karl - 21/02/2011 11:43

Today, I woke up and heard a noise coming from the kitchen. I went down stairs and saw a huge guy in there. I got a vase and hit him over the head, not realizing it was my mom's new boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 750

You deserved it 5 970

By iltdtsm - 15/08/2009 16:58 - Canada

Today, while showering I slipped and fell, taking down the shower curtain and smashing my head against the floor, resulting in a concussion. My family came running because of the noise and I lay naked, bleeding and concussed for few minutes before they could stop laughing enough to get me help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 220

You deserved it 3 263

By Anonymous - 13/03/2010 09:17 - United Kingdom

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, when I needed the loo. The door was ajar, so I walked into his bathroom, sat down, and started to pee. I then looked up to see the shocked face of his dad sitting naked in the bath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 772

You deserved it 10 098

Slumming it

By Anonymous - 25/09/2019 12:00 - United Kingdom - Doncaster

Today, my mum and I were moving the last of  my stuff into my new flat when I heard some creaking. The sound was  coming from the bathroom, so I went to check it out. As I stepped  through the door, the floor collapsed and the bathtub and I fell  right through. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 916

You deserved it 119

By Anonymous - 11/11/2014 18:56 - United States - Dekalb

Today, I walked into my bathroom, only to find my dad passed out on the floor with his pants around his ankles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 095

You deserved it 3 061

By Lily - 09/06/2012 23:43 - United States - San Antonio

Today, I fell going down the stairs and hit my head on the wall. My parents came frantically running to my side, but only to make sure I hadn't damaged the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 909

You deserved it 2 264

By hedayk - 15/05/2015 20:26 - United States - Bronx

Today, I woke up so hungover that when I went to the bathroom and caught sight of myself in the mirror, I screamed, slipped backwards, and smashed my head against the rim of my bathtub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 273

You deserved it 12 023

By lordtimbit - 15/03/2015 15:01 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I fell in the shower and knocked myself out. When I came to I turned off the water and called my mom. She seemed more worried about the amount of water I "wasted" than she was about me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 711

You deserved it 3 116

Bad start to the day

By Concussed - 17/01/2010 06:22 - Australia

Today, as I showered, I sneezed, hit my face on the wall, got shampoo in my eyes, slipped on a bar of soap, bashed my head on the wall as I fell, grabbed at the walls to stop me from falling and happened to turn off the cold water, scorching me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 732

You deserved it 6 071

10 out 10 for execution

By Anonymous - 30/08/2020 13:01 - Australia - Liverpool

Today, I had to squat to retrieve something from the bottom of the cabinet in the bathroom. This caused me to fart and startle myself enough that I jumped and banged my forehead on the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 255

You deserved it 608

Next

Top comments

chrisbravo 4

Thursday 26 July 2012 12:20

Don't you knock? He could've spill hot soup on his penis! Jesus!

Betz 10

Thursday 26 July 2012 12:20

Well that was a series of unfortunate events.

Comments

worldclassrager 39

Thursday 26 July 2012 20:01

I (hope) hitting your head removed any mental scaring...

Shirley_Nicole11 5

Thursday 26 July 2012 20:14

I thaught it said "soap" not "soup".....

s0ulslack 20

Thursday 26 July 2012 20:25

Was it clam chowder soup atleast? :p

Michael_92 20

Thursday 26 July 2012 23:02

Only the best soup on the planet! Now I want a big bowl. Thanks :p

coolbrony12 3

Thursday 26 July 2012 20:35

The FML is for seeing your moms boyfriend naked eating soup or the dent in the wall?

Cat_Lover24 2

Thursday 26 July 2012 20:40

Sorry but ur mom is dating an idiot! So that basically makes her an idiot who should of joined eharmony!

Cat_Lover24 2

Thursday 26 July 2012 20:40

Sorry but ur mom is dating an idiot! So that basically makes her an idiot who should of joined eharmony!

TodFeuer 1

Thursday 26 July 2012 20:56

Did any of you who said "why didn't you knock, OP?" actually notice it says "my" upstairs bathroom?

doramalover 3

Thursday 26 July 2012 21:35

Ahohoho - let me eat some soup while I'm on the toilet; you know as it goes in it goes out. :o

nado13579 12

Thursday 26 July 2012 22:16

Seeing Noor come back was the highlight of my day. :D

TourettesGuyFTW 25

Thursday 26 July 2012 22:46

She has nice ASS! (Not relevant to the FML, I know, but relevant to the post above).

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Keywords

Weddings Awkward Miscellaneous My ex Love AITA Jealousy Friends Poopoo peepee Health Embarrassing Relatable Mental health Therapy Argument Kids Parenting Thanksgiving Covid Medication Ironic Cute Sports Proposal Snow Cold weather Annoying Cheating Work Money

The Top

Today, my grandpa was wearing flip flops and white socks. He entered my restroom, and the moment he did I remembered there was no toilet paper left. I felt too ashamed to interrupt his dump, so I waited for him to ask for paper; he never did, and came out without socks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 524

You deserved it 5 800

Today, a blowjob from my fiancée turned into exchanged oral, which turned into mutual masturbation while watching porn, which then turned into me being kicked out of the room because it was "weird" with me watching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 349

You deserved it 403

The Top

Today, I went to meet my boyfriend's parents for the first time. His mother, seconds upon meeting me, gave me a hug, smiled at me, and said: "It's so nice to finally meet you! All I ever hear is 'Emma this', and 'Emma that', 'I love Emma!'. He never stops talking about you!" My name's not Emma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 225

You deserved it 2 713

Today, it was raining heavily. I saw a large puddle by the edge of the road near with a passing lady. Thinking it would be funny to splash her, I swerved to hit the puddle. The puddle was deeper than I thought. I lost control of the car, spun out, and hit two parked cars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 336

You deserved it 255 645

Today, I received some unwanted anal sex tips. They were unwanted because I'm not into anal sex, and the tips came from my drunk mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 865

You deserved it 4 657

Today, the real estate guy came with potential buyers to visit my house. He opened my bedroom while I was wanking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 005

You deserved it 41 597

Today, I woke up feeling crabby because of lack of sleep. I noticed what woke me up, it was man's best friend. He kept moving around and wouldn't stop rotating in circles to get comfy. I told him to lay down and he looked at me, did another circle and lowered down, butthole first on my forehead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 167

You deserved it 338

Today, I got an e-mail from a guy I'd had a one night stand with. He wanted to get together to talk about it. Turns out he's in rehab and he wanted to address the biggest mistakes he'd ever made in his life. I am a on a drug addict's list of regrets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 213

You deserved it 14 831