I've got the hots for you

By Jarman - 26/07/2012 05:39 - United States - Columbus

Spicy
Today, I had to turn down an offer of what seemed like some sexy time with a cute girl because my intestines were bursting with an intense desire to unleash molten lava. I rushed home to squat down, only to let out a disappointingly small piece of crud and a tiny fart. FML
I agree, your life sucks 34 136
You deserved it 5 911
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Top comments

CessOMG 3

I freaking hate it when that happens. FYL.

213 11

Comments

CessOMG 3

I freaking hate it when that happens. FYL.

213 11
Goldenchest 14

1 - Exactly how many times have you had to turn down a sexy time because because your intestines were bursting with the desire to unleash molten lava..?

93 5
mrnuleef 7

I thought i was the only one! Fyl

19 5
Trisha_aus 15

Disappointingly? You do know when your body releases said molten lava you're not going to feel good...I don't think anyone likes the blast..and I'm sure you'll get many other opportunities for some sexy time.

35 2
SenselessPattern 12

Never miss sexy time. Ever. Strike 1, OP.

10 18
klovemachine 24

Mother nature 1, OP 0 :(

9 16
Prolux_fml 23

Well I guess it was better at home than in his pants :P

7 1
NeedaLifeSoon 2

I hate when that happens. Better luck next time man. :)

47 14
Airman1988 9

Shit happens.....sorry couldn't resist people

13 39
jetsown08 21

*Waits for inevitable "That's shitty" comment*

4 29
cantthinkofshit 5

Haha my thoughts exactly

4 21
Blackmail111 9

It may be small but it sure is mighty!

21 2
pillowsarecomfy 2

At least you figured out you needed the bathroom before you got in bed with this girl. That would have been an FML on a completely different level.

31 2
Enslaved 36

At least it was done in the privacy of your own home! I fear public restrooms! :P

98 5
Bluekaren16 19

So? OP could have flushed the toilet while he let out that tiny fart and nobody would suspect.

3 9
emilyjgraham 34

yes they would suspect something because they'd need to flush a second time...

3 1
puppytaco64 8

Le sexy time. Me Gusta

84 9
music_woman1 11

SHORT INTERLUDE.. Just came back from Portugal where me and my friends used "Me Gusta" against every stranger, not knowing if it was actually Spanish or Italian.. Good times :)

2 56
wild_n_out 8

They speak Portuguese there so it's not really that big a issue.

43 2
misspulkadot24 17

The wording of this post is awesome. Would you rather be disappointed by a small shit, or explode in the middle of your date and be embarrassed? Better safe than sorry.

126 4
rsunshine2020 13

Well at least it wasn't in front of the girl... Then there would be no next time. Now at least, you might have a second chance. Just pretending you were playing hard to get.

59 1
perdix 29

That's what you get for following your gut instead of thinking with your dick. She might have been into scat, so your digestive problems could have been an ass-et. I foresee an epic mudslide in your near future. (it's magic, it's tragic, it's a loss and a win.)

54 37
WearingHats 14

Asset. That is some funny shit.

7 28