Miscellaneous: Today, I walked outside, slipped, busted my head, and had to...

By Anonymous - 03/02/2010 20:04 - United States

Today, I walked outside, slipped, busted my head, and had to get 7 stitches. Turns out my son thought it would be funny to spray the sidewalk with water last night so it would freeze. He got a laugh, and I spent over $100 on the stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 429

You deserved it 2 932

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Same thing different taste

Busted

By Anonymous - 27/05/2016 19:09 - United States - Lady Lake

Today, my husband was being obnoxious, so I jokingly sprayed him with the dish hose. The floor got wet, and he slipped and busted his knees. Our daughter rushed over to him to see if he was OK, then slipped and busted her head on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 808

You deserved it 7 247

By Anonymous - 09/05/2012 01:59 - United States - South Salem

Today, I heard the ice cream truck. Being the idiot that I am, I ran down the steps and almost immediately fell down them. I needed four stitches. I didn't even get my ice cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 082

You deserved it 9 583

By Shone - 15/04/2012 23:39 - Canada - Grand Forks

Today, I had to get stitches on my foot and was then forced to wear a plastic bag on my foot while showering. The plastic bag made me slip in the shower and had to go back and get stitches in my forehead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 721

You deserved it 3 852

By Diana - 13/08/2010 01:06 - United States

Today, I was showing my three year-old that going down the deck steps are perfectly safe. At the top, I tripped on my shoe and fell head first down every step. I now have five stitches and a three year old who won't go anywhere near the deck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 596

You deserved it 8 238

By fml - 04/01/2010 03:50 - Canada

Today, I walked to the end of my driveway to pick up the newspaper. I read the front page that was talking about people who have been getting hurt from slipping on ice. Laughing about that thought and walking up my driveway, I slipped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 835

You deserved it 34 872

Brained

By Qwizzyk - 24/04/2024 17:00 - Russia - Tula

Today, I was riding my scooter at a skate park. I was wearing a helmet, but I got hot, so I took it off. Within the next minute, I fell off my scooter and cut my head open. I had to get four stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92

You deserved it 690

By SnowyConcussion - 23/12/2009 14:30 - United States

Today, after spending the past 4 days asking both my husband and my father-in-law to salt our sidewalk, I slipped on the ice. I hit my head on our concrete stairs. While holding ice on my head, my father-in-law pats my head and says "I'll go get some salt." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 917

You deserved it 9 041

By WestboroBC - 03/02/2009 22:56 - United States

Today, I walked in the snow and saw some kid slip. I laughed and felt good about myself. Then I fell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 437

You deserved it 72 422

By Clumsy Clumsy - 16/04/2016 16:27 - Canada - Spruce Grove

Today, I ran up to my boyfriend to kiss him when he got home from work. I tripped and I fell on him, and he fell backwards. He ended up hitting his head on the sidewalk and had to get stitches. He also had a concussion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 494

You deserved it 3 248

By Triple F - 07/03/2009 17:16 - United States

Today, I laced up my fabulous new boots and walked outside to find my hot neighbor, with whom I carpool every morning. I struck a pose, feeling quite confident. Upon taking my first step down the stairs, I fell forward. I woke up an hour later with 7 stitches in my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 188

You deserved it 40 326

Callyn 47

Thursday 4 February 2010 1:05

So how long is he grounded for? I hope he didn't get away with it.

swaneh 0

Thursday 4 February 2010 0:59

Sounds like a kid with a unique sense of humor. He has my respect.

Comments

snafu57 1

Thursday 4 February 2010 1:46

take some vaginal lube and cover the bottom of the tub before he gets in there to shower. dishwashing liquid (clear) will work as a distant second

snafu57 1

Thursday 4 February 2010 1:48

#12thank you, Mr President.

zombieboy_fml 0

Thursday 4 February 2010 1:52

Not only would that kid be paying for the stiches, but also doing yard work/cleaning intil he's 30

jamieboy11 0

Thursday 4 February 2010 1:54

smart kid lol

mrjohnz 0

Thursday 4 February 2010 1:55

the kid just produced an epic win, in my book.

lobbyskids2 0

Thursday 4 February 2010 2:08

glad I'm not American. in the uk it's all free :-D

EDRN 0

Thursday 4 February 2010 2:46

yea, heaven forbid if you need diagnostic testing, such as an MRI. you'll die waiting for it.

Wolfman_Paladin 0

Thursday 4 February 2010 3:05

lol. ya id much rather pay for my tests and get them when i need them, not ten years later

arabianhorse1234 0

Thursday 4 February 2010 2:08

Although that does suck, I'm kinda tempted to say YDI for not noticing the ice.

kaykay25 0

Thursday 4 February 2010 2:09

wow thts a bad joke

kelleyb323 0

Thursday 4 February 2010 2:24

you deserve it for not keeping an eye on your kid. plus you obviously didn't raise him well if he thinks it's funny when you get hurt.

rosea888 0

Thursday 4 February 2010 2:56

haha pranks gone bad are ****** hilarious! sometimes..... lmao

Keywords

Break-ups Love Christmas Gross Miscellaneous Poopoo peepee Ironic Argument Awkward Friends Cute Haircut Relatable Cars You're fired Work Covid Health Jealousy Cheating Parenting Kids Family DIY Cats Roommate Sex Am I overreacting? Intimacy Management

The Top

Today, myself and my pug entered a novelty dog competition at the local fair. We won first prize in the lookalike contest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 298

You deserved it 243

Today, I learned the meaning behind the phrase, "Love you long time". It's from the movie Full Metal Jacket, when a hooker comes in and says, "Me so horny, me love you long time." I've been saying this to my parents and people at school, having no idea what it really means for over 2 weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 784

You deserved it 22 714

The Top

Today, there were a few loud and annoying kids running around my store. My coworker and I started talking. I jokingly stated, "Yeah, kids ruin everything." But before I could get out, "God knows I'm not ready to be a dad," my phone rang. It was my one night stand. I'm going to be a daddy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 091

You deserved it 75 398

Today, and since forever, I hate vegetables. I’ve been in Argentina for a few days for a one year exchange and I’ve been placed into a vegetarian family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 630

You deserved it 256

Today, I complained to my boss about how my printer wasn't printing colored ink even though I had just installed a new cartridge yesterday. Upon investigation, she noted that I forgot to take off the protection sticker from the cartridge. Good job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 284

You deserved it 29 915

Today, I went to my little cousin's school to pick her up and it happened to be my old elementary school. I saw my old teacher and went up to say hi, and after a few minutes she goes "Aren't you the girl who's dad always came in drunk on parent's day?" Nice to know that's how I'm remembered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 418

You deserved it 2 768

Today, I was sword fighting in a play when I accidentally hit the other person in the head. He called me a bitch and stormed off stage, leaving me alone with an audience of 50. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 249

You deserved it 5 205

Today, I returned home from a three-week vacation. None of my friends realized I'd been gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 468

You deserved it 3 963

Same thing different taste

Busted

Brained

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