Miscellaneous: Today, I was at my local McDonald's having a leak when an extremely...

By Anonymous - 22/10/2010 18:32 - Norway

Today, I was at my local McDonald's having a leak when an extremely intoxicated man stumbled in, pulled down his pants, and started to pee on my shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 445

You deserved it 3 357

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Same thing different taste

Not lovin' it.

By Anonymous - 17/07/2018 01:30

Today, a kid pulled down my shorts while I was ordering at McDonald's. In my haste to pull them back up, I hit my head on the counter and was knocked out cold. I woke up on the floor, my shorts still around my knees, in a puddle of my own urine. I had peed myself while unconscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 022

You deserved it 301

By Anonymous - 07/01/2013 11:11 - Australia - Hurstville

Today, an intoxicated gentleman stumbled into my shop requesting alcohol, which I do not sell. When I informed him of this, he expressed his disappointment by urinating on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 354

You deserved it 2 256

By Blie - 04/09/2018 20:30

Today, I was so drunk that I pissed myself in a hotel hallway while wearing a dress. My shoes squished all the way back to the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 053

You deserved it 4 198

Dude, WTF?

By cman - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Romania

Today, I was walking past a group of old men exiting a building. All of a sudden, I heard a strange splashing sound, and discovered one of the completely inebriated men walking behind me, pissing on my boots. I sped up, but so did he, and he didn't miss once until he was done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 529

You deserved it 3 209

Make yourself at home

By Anonymous - 14/03/2010 20:26 - United States

Today, while waiting at the bus stop, the guy standing near me started peeing on the sidewalk and on my shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 143

You deserved it 2 506

By cj1012 - 08/07/2012 03:16 - United States

Today, a homeless man started to wet himself in the recliner at the coffee shop where I work. He then walked all the way to the bathroom, only to finish urinating in a puddle right in front of the bathroom door. Guess who cleaned it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 410

You deserved it 1 870

Crucial information

By no one - 02/06/2020 14:00

Today, I was at work at McDonald's, at the front counter when an elderly lady came up to me and whispered, "I just shit everywhere in your restroom," then turned around and walked out the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 766

You deserved it 143

By Pissy pants - 24/11/2018 13:30

Today, I had a horrible headache on my way home from lunch. I pulled over and vomited so forcefully I peed my pants, a lot. I had pee in my shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 197

You deserved it 231

By Jehovah God - 07/03/2014 18:51 - United States - Richmond

Today, while I was waiting at a red light, a drunk guy limped in front of my car, unzipped, and started pissing on my windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 383

You deserved it 3 614

By goldenshower - 05/02/2010 18:22 - United States

Today, I woke up at a guy's house drunk and soaked in my own pee. I had passed out with all my clothes on. Since I was late for work and didn't have a change of clothes, all I could do was throw my jeans in the dryer. I had to sit all day at work in crusty pee pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 499

You deserved it 56 516

DrAwesome 6

Saturday 23 October 2010 0:15

Well, it seems to me that... *puts on sunglasses* ... urine trouble.

DocBastard 38

Saturday 23 October 2010 0:03

Well, just remember that it's better to be pissed off than... Oh, nevermind.

Comments

SMD_emilyy 1

Sunday 24 October 2010 6:59

Ydi for saying you were "having a leak".

wriptidez 0

Sunday 24 October 2010 9:52

pee on him back

bluekiwi_fml 0

Sunday 24 October 2010 17:12

ydi for not locking the door :p

Mizzle95 0

Monday 25 October 2010 4:25

go to subway

FLASHOOM 0

Friday 8 April 2011 5:47

that's the new McDonalds slogan: Our hamburgers are so damn good they'll get you wasted!

shnipe 4

Sunday 22 May 2011 3:13

that what you get for eating at McDonalds

warriors32 1

Thursday 9 February 2012 4:35

All depends what kinda kicks u got

WickedFan 12

Monday 9 September 2013 13:17

The police are just wonderful

GraphicAustin 8

Thursday 12 December 2013 23:39

That's when the drunk guy conveniently "falls" and smacks his head on the side of the sink repeatedly for being a drunk asshole

Keywords

Cats Animals Christmas Health Embarrassing Awkward Work Love Anniversary Boredom Abuse Ironic Intimacy Drunk Am I overreacting? Alcohol Transportation AITA Parents Kids Gun control Language Noise Mysterious Relatable Money Miscellaneous Delivery Food Family

The Top

Today, I located my birth dad and asked him why I was put into care. Turns out my mom died, and since he hadn’t wanted me in the first place, he just gave me away and hoped to never see me again. He didn’t even invite me in, he threw a beer at me and threatened to call the cops unless I left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 508

You deserved it 227

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me for being "obsessed" with my new female coworker. She gave me a piece of paper with dozens of tally marks on it. What were the tally marks keeping count of? Every time I've mentioned my coworker to my girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 99

You deserved it 789

The Top

Today, I watched my grandmother's funeral on a webcam. She died at 95 because the overwhelmed hospital kept putting back her pacemaker operation. I hadn't seen her in two years. Fuck Covid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 488

You deserved it 123

Today, my boyfriend accidentally synced his contacts to my phone. I'm not sure who I want to message first, "Amber (Big Ass)", "Kayla (Baby Girl)", or one of the other 64 with similar descriptions in parentheses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 343

You deserved it 127

Today, a customer spent ages bitching me out, because he refused to believe he needed to upgrade his computer, which still runs Windows 98, in order to install a modern game for his grandson. He ended up calling my manager and trying to get me fired for scamming him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 475

You deserved it 2 733

Today, I'm a ticket inspector on a train. A suspiciously-acting guy of about 30 gets on board with two huge bags. Worried, I keep an eye on him. I wasn't disappointed when he got 5 furry toys out of his bags and started to have a conversation with them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 503

You deserved it 47

Today, my girlfriend told me she has decided to become a stay-at-home mom for our dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 272

You deserved it 2 887

Today, I can't decide what's worse, my mom walking in on me doing the five knuckle shuffle, or the one hour talk the next day about how it's perfectly normal and even she does it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 400

You deserved it 8 869