Miscellaneous: Today, I had to explain to a police officer that I wasn't drunk... - FML

By not as easy as pie - 16/10/2015 16:03 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I had to explain to a police officer that I wasn't drunk and had swerved because I was eating pie and almost dropped it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 225

You deserved it 21 361

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Same thing different taste

By fatty magoo - 29/07/2014 18:20 - United States - Kirkland

Today, I was pulled over for distracted driving. I'd been eating a donut. Let's just say the officer didn't appreciate being offered one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 299

You deserved it 15 980

Potholing

By limpdick9 - 19/11/2014 18:44 - United States - San Francisco

Today, a cop car was tailing me. I was scared, and trying to avoid any tickets, I drove straight through a huge pothole rather than swerving to avoid it. The cop pulled me over and insisted I was intoxicated, because, "anybody in their right mind would've dodged that pothole." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 495

You deserved it 7 185

By ironic driver - 04/09/2011 22:10 - United States

Today, I was pulled over for a DWI. The police officer was drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 568

You deserved it 4 614

By drewig - 10/05/2010 05:28 - United States

Today, I was driving home from work when I was pulled over by a cop. She asked why I was being pulled over and figuring she knew I said, "For swerving because of my alcohol problem." I had a broken tail light. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 149

You deserved it 53 593

Panic mode activated

By Man in car - 11/10/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, I got pulled over by a cop car. As I was fumbling for my license and registration, I handed the officer a half-empty bag of Doritos I’d forgotten was in my glove box. He thought I was trying to bribe him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 176

You deserved it 295

By Kimmiko - 04/06/2009 12:17 - Germany

Today, I was driving on the motorway when a cop car made me stop. It was a routine check and when they said "Have you been drinking?" of course I said no. To that, my 6 year old sitting in the back screamed "Yes she did! She's lying I saw her drink!" I had drunk a milkshake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 111 197

You deserved it 7 167

The smell of freedom

By ThatNewCarSmell - 01/10/2014 16:53 - United States - Carlsbad

Today, I held my bag of burger and fries out the window while driving, to preserve that new car smell. Not only did I hit a pothole and lose my lunch, I got pulled over by a cop who suspected I was either littering or tossing drugs when I saw him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 880

You deserved it 45 701

By driverman12 - 04/04/2009 19:42 - United States

Today, I was driving on the freeway when I saw a car in front of me swerving across 3 lanes of traffic. Thinking he might be drunk, I dialed 911 on my phone, but I dropped it. I fished under my seat to get it, swerving, and got pulled over by highway patrol and given a field sobriety test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 178

You deserved it 31 001

Underage boozing

By drunk under 18 teenager - 19/08/2014 13:37 - Morocco - Marrakech

Today, I was hammered, and on my way home I walked into a policeman. My logic was, if I'm on the phone, he can't talk to me, so I pulled my phone out and started speaking. The officer then asked me why I was speaking to my wallet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 091

You deserved it 50 300

By candymansvan17 - 17/08/2011 21:50 - United States

Today, I had a cop pull me over because he claimed that he saw me taking a bunch of colorful pills at the previous stop sign. I was eating skittles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 461

You deserved it 3 235

Next

Top comments

JayGatsby 25

Saturday 17 October 2015 1:37

Could the pie not have waited till you got home?

MegasaurusRex89 28

Saturday 17 October 2015 1:37

Dean?

Comments

runninggirl8 16

Saturday 17 October 2015 1:37

what flavor was the pie?

CosmicElk 26

Saturday 17 October 2015 2:01

pie flavour!

LilMissCanadian 22

Saturday 17 October 2015 5:30

I don't know if that was an asdf video reference or not.

redhead_sprhro 10

Saturday 17 October 2015 7:24

I assumed it was one of those apple pies from McDonald's

paravoz 30

Saturday 17 October 2015 8:07

it was a creampie

MegasaurusRex89 28

Saturday 17 October 2015 1:37

Dean?

SomeoneSaveSammy 11

Saturday 17 October 2015 2:36

Aw you beat me too it! hah

thatonlinedude 5

Saturday 17 October 2015 4:21

and DO NOT forget the pie this time Sammy!

mariri9206 32

Saturday 17 October 2015 4:51

my thoughts exactly!

skye_tbfh 18

Saturday 17 October 2015 6:41

oh my god yes

SubparAtBest 23

Saturday 17 October 2015 9:35

*Sam walks in* *still no pie*

jocamo 24

Saturday 17 October 2015 20:22

Damnit! you beat me to it too!

falloutboytrash 10

Monday 19 October 2015 7:12

*cries*

JayGatsby 25

Saturday 17 October 2015 1:37

Could the pie not have waited till you got home?

SystemofaBlink41 27

Saturday 17 October 2015 1:54

Have you ever eaten pie? Then you know what the answer is.

itsalanis 25

Saturday 17 October 2015 1:59

Cake is better.

SystemofaBlink41 27

Saturday 17 October 2015 2:00

True, but pie is still great.

GeorgiaBea 28

Saturday 17 October 2015 2:24

Pie never waits. It's pie.

vikky538 28

Saturday 17 October 2015 5:27

How can it be! Its a cream pie!

davincidasecond 24

Saturday 17 October 2015 9:35

Stop blaspheming, 14. Stop it.

SubparAtBest 23

Saturday 17 October 2015 9:37

Pie is far beyond cake its in a whole nother league!

jaspinkgrl01 18

Saturday 17 October 2015 18:00

How can one wait two eat what they love

Catdragon 40

Saturday 17 October 2015 21:44

the cake is a lie, but not the pie.

spicebread 4

Sunday 18 October 2015 1:06

I love eating while driving to be honest. And i'm from a country where we use gears.

SecundusSecunda 27

Saturday 17 October 2015 1:37

Did you offer the officer some? Reckless little OP?

juicy_extasy 25

Saturday 17 October 2015 1:38

Hopefully the pie was worth the possible trouble it got you into

Mossyoak_kw 28

Saturday 17 October 2015 2:56

It's pie, of course it was worth it!!

dansco 24

Saturday 17 October 2015 1:38

You are an idiot! So eating a pie is more important than safe driving. Genius.

quickit 24

Saturday 17 October 2015 3:05

Let me spell out a word for you, s-a-r-c-a-s-m. Once you learn it I'm sure you'll understand the comment section much better! :)

Thatissarcastic 17

Saturday 17 October 2015 5:46

In reality it's called facetious ;-; rip sarcasm nobody knows what you really are. Not that the comment was either of the two.

jake131000 21

Sunday 18 October 2015 7:39

I can actually relate to your comment as it is something that i would also post. But understand that acting like an asshole will not get you likes. Fun fact of the day: the capital of Somalia is mogadishu

YumeWolf 23

Saturday 17 October 2015 1:39

Was the pie good, though?

deftones_fml 19

Saturday 17 October 2015 1:41

Any type of pie can't wait

brycemash 9

Saturday 17 October 2015 1:42

No

brycemash 9

Saturday 17 October 2015 1:43

Must have been some of mama's blueberry pie.

heftysmash253 6

Saturday 17 October 2015 1:51

Did you give him/her a pie-ce of your mind?

SubparAtBest 23

Saturday 17 October 2015 9:39

Ok man so the word has to atleast sound right... cant just be the spelling.. So do better next time..

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 39 358

You deserved it 5 959

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I agree, your life sucks 47 502

You deserved it 15 065

The Top

Today, after 6 months of university, sex was finally had in my bed. Unfortunately, I had no part in it, though I was in the bed while it happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 027

You deserved it 2 966

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I agree, your life sucks 840

You deserved it 188

Today, my boss asked me, "Can I give you some constructive criticism?" I said yes. He told me, "Your work is really shit. You have no talent and I can't figure out why I hired you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 980

You deserved it 3 710

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I agree, your life sucks 22 484

You deserved it 2 977

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I agree, your life sucks 29 970

You deserved it 2 810

Today, through a mutual friend, I met the girl of my dreams. After flirting and exchanging numbers with her, my friend confessed that she's liked me since the day we met. Now the girl of my dreams doesn't want to pursue a relationship with me out of respect for our friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 640

You deserved it 1 764