Health: Today, I was at the gym trying to impress a hot girl, so I put...

By authorsubmit - 04/05/2012 12:49 - United States

Today, I was at the gym trying to impress a hot girl, so I put an extra 30 pounds on the bar, I lowered, pushed... and pooped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 864

You deserved it 47 659

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Same thing different taste

By Mark - 30/03/2009 07:06 - United States

Today, I was working out at the gym doing squats. There was a girl there that I wanted to impress so I loaded up the bar with a lot of weight and began to do my squat. As I was going down I farted so loud that I began to laugh and fell backwards. Everyone in the room just stared at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 450

You deserved it 74 955

The walk of shame to the gym locker

By Sahil lilaramani - 15/10/2022 12:00

Today, I was doing squats in the gym. During a set, when I squatted deep down, some poop came the fuck out, like a rocket. It was so embarrassing, and luckily there were fewer people in the gym than usual. FML

I agree, your life sucks 797

You deserved it 178

By desigymrat - 25/12/2010 05:29 - France

Today, I was working out at the gym. A very attractive girl was watching me work out, so feeling like a stud, I tried to lift a really heavy weight. I failed, got trapped, and watched helplessly as she walked away laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 509

You deserved it 42 602

Always wear camo gear

By Anonymous - 29/06/2024 00:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I took a huge shit halfway through my gym workout, one of them half-wet, messy, stuck in your butt hairs. Three rolls and an anus with the feeling of carpet burn later, I proceeded to the bench feeling strong. At the twelfth rep, I sharted, right in my brand new gray pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 366

You deserved it 316

Get out

By pipefitter28 - 27/12/2012 06:46 - Canada - Vernon

Today, I tried to impress a girl at the gym on the squat rack, but let out a big fart. She was grossed out and laughed at me with her friends. Her boyfriend came over and told me I was a dead man, and I'd better leave. I'm now the proud owner of a year membership at a gym I can't go to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 128

You deserved it 28 899

By YuckyDuckyLucky - 03/06/2015 17:36 - Norway - Oslo

Today, I attempted to break the record for the heaviest squat in my local gym. A small crowd witnessed me breaking the record as well as releasing a huge fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 843

You deserved it 5 829

By likeyourboss - 04/10/2013 16:05 - Denmark

Today, I went to the gym. I tried out a new machine where you do one-arm weightlifting. I took my time to get into a good position, then set the machine to the lowest weight possible. I couldn't even lift it an inch. A bunch of buff guys nearby saw me and burst out laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 715

You deserved it 5 952

By wowimdumb - 30/01/2011 00:35 - United States

Today, I was at a power lifting meet when a girl I really liked walked in. Trying to impress her, I increased my bench to 350, when I have only done 300 before. She then watched me drop it on my chest, breaking my breast bone, and also crying in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 459

You deserved it 70 173

Do you even lift, bro?

By Anonymous - 11/08/2013 04:24 - United States

Today, while working out in the gym, I spotted a very attractive girl. I decided to pick up the heaviest dumbbell to show off how much I could curl. She ended up driving me to the hospital because I burst into tears after tearing up my bicep and deltoid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 576

You deserved it 66 929

By Farterella - 02/11/2016 20:30

Today, I was the only girl in gym class who couldn't lift the weight, and the only one to fart multiple times during the attempt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 778

You deserved it 1 558

tothenifty 1

Friday 4 May 2012 19:16

this is great

pinkcrayola 0

Friday 4 May 2012 19:17

Well if she's into that...

Comments

youshitme 9

Saturday 5 May 2012 15:37

That is so funny! I love it. How many kgs is that?

cliffibom 15

Saturday 5 May 2012 15:43

You're just gonna snap some shit up lifting too much weight

DFried14 0

Saturday 5 May 2012 16:35

Not enough fiber my friend. This was your big opening!

CanadianCutie22 16

Saturday 5 May 2012 18:39

that's too bad !

2Siccckkkkkey 2

Saturday 5 May 2012 22:18

Hahaha what a douchebagg !! FYL

krewer21 1

Sunday 6 May 2012 2:04

Classic fail!

asiancupcake 1

Sunday 6 May 2012 3:24

I'm sorry but that's pretty funny!

megamandude455 10

Sunday 6 May 2012 11:44

Tries to impress a girl *****

geod69 8

Sunday 6 May 2012 16:13

Never eat before exercising

Missy612 14

Sunday 6 May 2012 18:40

Damn-why was I not there?

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The Top

Today, at work at an OB office, I heard a ruckus in the hallway before a very large woman burst into my room and tried to attack my very pregnant patient. Crazy lady is the wife of the pregnant lady’s baby daddy, who is nowhere to be found. I don’t get paid enough for this shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 497

You deserved it 63

Today, I rushed home because my wife called to let me know she was feeling horny for the first time after getting over a bad flu. I walked in the door and surprise surprise, her sister had called round, wanting sympathy after her latest fuckbuddy dumped her. Romantic mood ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 251

You deserved it 207

The Top

Today, I had the crap beaten out of me by a woman in the street, who accused me of sleeping with her husband. I still don't know who she or her husband are, and I'm still a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 048

You deserved it 1 962

Today, my mom gave me my Christmas gift. It was a letter containing $200 and a note saying, "Here's the down payment for your apartment, please just move out already." I turned 18 last week. Thanks mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 479

You deserved it 3 393

Today, after I had an excellent one night stand with a guy yesterday, I saw him at work. He was a client my boss was trying to talk into a deal. The guy recognised me and accused my boss of sending me to seduce him into signing the contract. The deal fell apart and my boss is livid with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 368

You deserved it 652

Today, a nearby volcano erupted for the second time. We were all urged to keep our windows and doors closed in case of ash clouds. My father responded by opening every window and door and shouting, "Come at me, bro!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 045

You deserved it 2 856

Today, my boss told me I ask too many questions and that's why they cut my hours in half. Officially, I'm a "Pharmacy Technician in Training", which means I'm trying to teach myself how to do the job without killing someone. All from on the job experience and an outdated textbook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 047

You deserved it 2 594

Today, my brother decided deodorant causes cancer. He goes to the gym every day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 945

You deserved it 2 515