Miscellaneous: Today, I was at the lake with my family. I was drinking from...

By wantedphantom - 09/07/2016 02:26

Today, I was at the lake with my family. I was drinking from a can of soda but didn't realize a bee flew into the can. I didn't swallow it, but I now have Kylie Jenner's lips. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 819

You deserved it 1 001

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Modeon123 - 20/10/2016 10:11 - Korea, Republic of - Seoul

Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right inside my mouth. My tongue got stung. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 476

You deserved it 1 165

Tasty

By Anonymous - 06/11/2009 14:31 - Denmark

Today, at a party, a fly flew into my mouth. I spat it out, and in an effort to wash my mouth out, I grabbed the can of coke that was on the table next to me. Apparently people had been spitting in there and using it as an ashtray. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 749

You deserved it 9 824

Big tasty

By reisz618 - 31/05/2019 07:00

Today, I was at a barbecue and, unbeknownst to me, took a bite of really hot bacon. In my ensuing panic, I grabbed and took a swig of my friend's beer. It wasn't beer, at least not any more. She was using it as an ashtray, and I got a mouthful of cigarette butts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 684

You deserved it 600

RIP

By funnnyyyyy -_- - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Nepal - Kathmandu

Today, I was singing along to my favorite song when a giant bug flew into my mouth. I was so shocked, I almost swallowed it. After I was done freaking out, my sister wanted to throw the bug a big funeral for its "heroic sacrifice" in shutting me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 241

You deserved it 6 720

Ewwwwww

By Ese - 12/10/2018 12:00

Today, my sister took me out shopping for my birthday and had been drinking a Monster the whole day. Halfway back home, I took a sip of it and she screamed, but it was too late. I had drunk the phlegm that she spat into the can earlier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 616

You deserved it 959

By jess - 07/03/2010 14:08 - South Africa

Today, I had a sip of my coffee and felt a lump of some kind enter my mouth. I thought it was a bit of biscuit, and then remembered I didn't have biscuits this morning with my coffee. I took it out of my mouth and it was a huge black fly. I then spat the rest of my coffee all over my laptop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 032

You deserved it 4 689

Added protein

By Anonymous - 10/02/2021 00:30

Today, I was drinking lemon juice through a straw. After finishing half of the drink, I noticed there was a cockroach in my straw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 949

You deserved it 192

By Anonymous - 08/09/2011 19:51 - United States

Today, I went to my favorite drive-in burger joint for dinner. As I was nearing the end of my burger, I grabbed a cup from the cup holder that I thought was filled with soda. Instead, I got a mouthful of dip spit that a friend left in my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 413

You deserved it 8 018

Numb

By A.J. - 13/04/2019 08:00 - United States

Today, I had a dentist appointment in which a nurse numbed my mouth. After coming home, I took a nap in which I unknowing bit through my top lip. I physically can't speak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 877

You deserved it 173

By halfasleep - 27/03/2012 14:00 - United States - New Haven

Today, I accidentally took my mouthwash like a shot. I don't know what burned more, when it went down or when it came back up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 680

You deserved it 14 682

Welshite 39

Saturday 9 July 2016 20:32

Cheaper than Botox. It'll be the newest "natural environmentally friendly" fad. The tag line should read: "Bee One with Nature".

samsterling 19

Saturday 9 July 2016 20:40

I could just see that in a magazine ad... "WANT TO SPRUCE UP YOUR LIPS? COME IN TODAY WITH 'DR.' JENNER'S ALL NATURAL 100% BEE LIP ENHANCMENTS, FOR ONLY $899.99 + $299.99 CO-PAY EACH!"

Comments

deltax 8

Saturday 9 July 2016 23:51

Plastic surgeons hate her... get bigger lips with this one weird trick!

ThymastarGT 11

Sunday 10 July 2016 1:07

Same thing happened to me in 6th grade! I feel your pain OP!

BlackHawkSavior 28

Sunday 10 July 2016 4:22

Oh look it's my worst fear

ezrajab 22

Sunday 10 July 2016 4:25

Ouch!

TheAspieDork 27

Sunday 10 July 2016 4:58

Damn, Burt's Bees have gone rogue!

heheitscece 16

Sunday 10 July 2016 8:34

Kylie Jenner Lip Challenge pt. 2?

saffy66 34

Sunday 10 July 2016 15:33

I voted YDI for mentioning Kylie Jenner. But other than that I really feel for you, glad you didn't swallow the bee. That could have been fatal if it stung your throat. Wasps are a bigger problem here and those things can sting you over and over.

emilieanya 2

Sunday 10 July 2016 21:34

Sane thing happened to me last year. But you can be a little thankful, lip injections can be expensive and you got yours for free!

KMN_343 3

Monday 11 July 2016 4:56

Sadly I did the same thing when I was about 10.

Akasha_69 3

Monday 11 July 2016 5:49

I did that when I was 3, could not talk properly for 3 days. I got so frustrated right after it happened that no one understood me I was silent for most of this 3 days