Health and Painful: Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a... - FML

By Modeon123 - 20/10/2016 10:11 - Korea, Republic of - Seoul

Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right inside my mouth. My tongue got stung. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 476

You deserved it 1 165

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Same thing different taste

Clogged

By ISmellBread - 15/12/2023 05:00 - United States - Cabot

Today, I was quickly eating lunch during a work meeting. I ended up inhaling some of my sandwich so I've had toast stuck in my sinuses for the last hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 310

You deserved it 254

Happy meal

By ollierocks96 - 17/12/2009 21:43 - United States

Today, I was eating lunch outside with my friends, when a spider fell on one guy's back. I glanced at it and opened my mouth to warn him when another guy flicked it and it went into my mouth. I can still taste it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 558

You deserved it 3 026

By Username - 25/05/2010 12:32 - France

Today, my friend bet everyone at my lunch table that no one could catch the fly that was flying around our table. I reached up and caught it. It was a wasp, and it stung me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 103

You deserved it 36 207

By markzar - 05/05/2012 07:19 - United States - Amherst

Today, I had food poisoning. When I was finally able to drag myself to the kitchen for some Gatorade, I got stung by a wasp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 750

You deserved it 2 324

By jess - 07/03/2010 14:08 - South Africa

Today, I had a sip of my coffee and felt a lump of some kind enter my mouth. I thought it was a bit of biscuit, and then remembered I didn't have biscuits this morning with my coffee. I took it out of my mouth and it was a huge black fly. I then spat the rest of my coffee all over my laptop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 032

You deserved it 4 689

RIP

By funnnyyyyy -_- - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Nepal - Kathmandu

Today, I was singing along to my favorite song when a giant bug flew into my mouth. I was so shocked, I almost swallowed it. After I was done freaking out, my sister wanted to throw the bug a big funeral for its "heroic sacrifice" in shutting me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 241

You deserved it 6 720

buys case of Listerine

By Sick Guy - 24/03/2018 20:30 - United States - Boynton Beach

Today, I wasn't feeling well at work. While I was in the bathroom losing my lunch, a very large piece of food came up. The resulting splash of toilet water went straight up into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 952

You deserved it 365

By lyinginbed - 04/06/2016 19:45 - United Kingdom

Today, I was walking through a field with my boyfriend and he picked me some pretty flowers. I hugged him and leant in to sniff them. In doing so, I inhaled a bee up my nose and had to force it out my swollen nostril after it had stung me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 336

You deserved it 1 185

Panic on the streets of…

By Anstice - 05/10/2009 03:07 - United States

Today, I was at a stop light and a bee landed on my leg. I screamed and started swatting it. It flew into my jacket and I started to strip my jacket off, taking my foot off the brake. I hit the car in front of me and deployed the air bag, breaking my nose. Then the bee stung me in the back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 657

You deserved it 15 553

By jelrid - 13/07/2016 04:38 - United States - Holt

Today, my worst fears were realized as an insect pinged off the back of my mouth while I was singing along to the radio on my motorcycle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 926

You deserved it 3 962

Next

Top comments

Tripartita 44

Thursday 20 October 2016 17:24

"Today, I witnessed a predator devouring what I thought was my hive's larval population, so I took it upon myself to defend the queen's honor and attacked. I nearly got eaten. Protecting rice. FML"

WCARlover 34

Thursday 20 October 2016 17:03

I'm sorry OP but if you want honey on your rice that's not the best way to go about it

Comments

WCARlover 34

Thursday 20 October 2016 17:03

I'm sorry OP but if you want honey on your rice that's not the best way to go about it

stingray112 24

Thursday 20 October 2016 17:07

Just eat through your nose next time

FalloutScrolls 25

Thursday 20 October 2016 17:09

Hope you bit down and exacted your revenge. It actually would have been merciful, granting it a quicker death like that.

stevenJB 25

Thursday 20 October 2016 17:12

Gotta get your protein one way or the other!

species4872 19

Thursday 20 October 2016 17:13

I'm home honey!

Tripartita 44

Thursday 20 October 2016 17:24

"Today, I witnessed a predator devouring what I thought was my hive's larval population, so I took it upon myself to defend the queen's honor and attacked. I nearly got eaten. Protecting rice. FML"

sungrays 16

Thursday 20 October 2016 19:36

Plus he would've died, right? From stinging something. So it's ghost bee writing the fml.

MasterTron 24

Thursday 20 October 2016 21:19

She. Some where around 90% of a hive is female

ShadowWyvern666 16

Thursday 20 October 2016 22:52

Very few bees die from stinging something, it's mainly just bumblebees.

buttcrackles 9

Friday 21 October 2016 16:10

#17 Feel free to read the FML again.

el_Jeffe_D 11

Thursday 20 October 2016 17:24

I guess the phrase "Bites without a sting" doesn't apply to you.

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 20 October 2016 18:02

Are you sure it wasn't sriracha sauce? That shit is hot!

Alup132 22

Friday 21 October 2016 1:49

It's not very hot, actually.

MidnaLink 33

Friday 21 October 2016 4:30

I had Sriracha when Subway was doing the Hunger Games promo. It may depend on you but it was kinda there.

Yourheadache 19

Thursday 20 October 2016 19:13

hope you ate the ************ too, lol!

olpally 32

Thursday 20 October 2016 19:30

I'm cringing at the mental image of this. Ouch!

Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing Sleep Work Dating Love Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Fight Public freakouts Drugs Neighbours Cops Medication Relatable Animals Dogs Teenagers Gamers Ironic Video games Job interview

The Top

Today, I brought home my new boyfriend, who happens to have an eyepatch. Despite repeatedly telling them not to, even threatening punishment, my daughters, ages 9 and 11, would not stop calling him "Cyclops." He’s mad at me for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 055

You deserved it 365

Today, I told my wife I had a huge Zoom interview and could not be disturbed under any circumstances. Nevertheless, she called her mom, got into a screaming argument the interviewer could clearly hear, then came into my office to cry on my shoulder. She doesn't understand why I'm furious with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 528

You deserved it 56

The Top

Today, I stepped outside for a smoke. It was 1 a.m. Thinking no one was around, I let out a series of loud, nasty-sounding farts. I looked over to my left to see the neighbor, whom I've never met, also smoking, and staring at me. That was his first impression of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 727

You deserved it 34 066

Today, my co-worker started talking in third person. Not only that, but he narrates his daily tasks. "Jeff reached for a stapler", "Jeff stapled a report". I have to sit beside this chimp for 8 hours a day, and nothing I say can end this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 764

You deserved it 4 277

Today, while I was trying to take off my eye make up, I accidentally used nail polish remover. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 771

You deserved it 35 099

Today, after nearly three weeks of hard work, I finally completed my best drawing yet, a self-portrait. I was incredibly excited to take it to class tomorrow. That is, until I came home from a walk later on, only to find my brother had drawn a stick figure on it, wanking into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 558

You deserved it 4 339

Today, I was so disgusted by my own body, I took a shower in the dark so I wouldn't have to look at myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 841

You deserved it 569

Today, my son is actually going on holiday over Christmas with some girl he met in a bar. He’s barely known her a week and is already dipping into his savings to keep her happy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 495

You deserved it 154