Animals: Today, I was at the park feeding nuts to some squirrels. One...

By YOURMOM - 31/12/2011 07:24 - United States

Today, I was at the park feeding nuts to some squirrels. One fell down my shirt and the next thing I know I'm being attacked by a squirrel that looked like it was on steroids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 052

You deserved it 6 008

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Same thing different taste

Red or grey?

By Cherry - 11/02/2023 02:00

Today, I tried to take a selfie with a squirrel and it bit me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 116

You deserved it 1 376

By RENThead - 13/09/2015 19:02 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was walking down a path in the woods behind my house when I saw a squirrel. It ran away, but little did I know it wasn't running from me, it was running from the dog that had forced Animal Control to sweep the area. I ended up with stitches in my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 865

You deserved it 1 606

Fresh air

By Ceecee - 22/03/2023 04:00 - United States

Today, I took my dog for a walk in the park. I was enjoying the fresh air until my dog spotted a squirrel and took off running. I ended up getting dragged through the mud and had to walk home covered in dirt and scratches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 592

You deserved it 241

By karmavictim - 18/03/2011 11:28

Today, I swerved out of the way to avoid hitting a squirrel, and in the process hit another squirrel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 102

You deserved it 10 934

It's alive!

By notmyrealname123 - 25/08/2014 00:08 - Canada - Kitchener

Today, I found my cat downstairs with a squirrel dangling from his mouth. When I saw this, I yelled at my cat to put it down. He did. Turns out the squirrel was still alive and run. I had to spend the next three hours chasing it out of my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 727

You deserved it 6 430

By squirrel - 09/01/2010 05:01 - United States

Today, I was wearing a shirt that had a picture of a squirrel and acorns with a caption reading "Protect Your Nuts". My dad walked up to me, read my shirt, then punched me in the balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 903

You deserved it 42 501

Cute

By eyesightfail - 21/11/2009 23:02 - United States

Today, I saw a squirrel beside a tree. Thinking it was cute, I stepped closer, picked up a pine cone and tried to lure it to come closer. After about two minutes of silently squatting on someone's lawn holding a pine cone, I realized the squirrel was dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 485

You deserved it 15 522

I don't dare look

By TerribleAim - 12/10/2022 00:01

Today, I was trying to scare a squirrel away from my bird feeder. It was on my privacy fence, so I picked up a rock just to throw at the fence to startle it. I hit the squirrel in the head and he fell off on the other side. I don't know if he's okay or not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 234

You deserved it 1 093

By bbbkingsey - 23/07/2009 07:10 - United States

Today, while walking through the park, a little boy came running up to me and hit me in the nuts with a stick. I fell on the ground and looked up just in time to see his mom giving him the thumbs up with a smile on her face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 883

You deserved it 4 373

By Anonymous - 09/08/2009 04:22 - United States

Today, I found out that when you chase a couple of squirrels off your porch for irritating your dogs, sometimes they chase you back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 457

You deserved it 15 027

Qwertyuiip 0

Saturday 31 December 2011 12:11

Tell that son of a bitch who's boss.

IBelongToJeebus 0

Saturday 31 December 2011 12:12

How the hell did it fall down your shirt?

Comments

Arxikist 3

Saturday 31 December 2011 17:08

OP: "HELP THERE'S A NUT STUCK IN MY CLEAVAGE AND I CAN'T GET IT OUT!" Squirrel (Seductive voice): Lemme help you baby

kphippie 0

Saturday 31 December 2011 17:19

Baha'is! Lmao! That's hilarious

caseDL6 12

Saturday 31 December 2011 17:24

i read this earlier, while i was waking up. my first thought was, "how did a squirrel fall down your shirt?"

ironictraveler 9

Saturday 31 December 2011 17:35

fear the squirrely wrath.

fangz_fml 6

Saturday 31 December 2011 17:40

Oh yea, that was mine. I was testing drugs to see if it will give him super strength :)

OsseoSoccer 0

Saturday 31 December 2011 18:12

Squirrels are so cute(:

malfoyfreak 3

Saturday 31 December 2011 18:17

SIMP squirrels in my pants!

mishkaroni 15

Saturday 31 December 2011 18:43

Haha, I very much laughed out loud picturing that!

coried91 28

Saturday 31 December 2011 19:22

Wow, that's pretty f'ing funny =D

disney_blonde 16

Saturday 31 December 2011 19:25

There's a reason you're not supposed to feed wild animals...

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 385

You deserved it 495

Today, my husband returned from a 6-week business trip. During that time, I put myself on a very strict diet/exercise regimen so I could surprise him with a hefty weight loss. He took one look at me and demanded to know who I was fucking on the side. Yeah, because that’s the only reason I lost weight. FML

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You deserved it 226

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 800

You deserved it 197

Today, I tried proving to my best friend that I wasn't a lesbian by telling her I once liked her brother. She was mad because I never told her and now she's calling him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 090

You deserved it 6 349

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I agree, your life sucks 4 334

You deserved it 596

Today, my stomach growled so loud in class that a boy sitting next to me thought his phone had vibrated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 396

You deserved it 2 278

Today, I was fired from my job for wearing a mask. The manager said I must have Covid, since I was the only one wearing a mask and following state mandated orders. I told him, "I'll see you in court!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 327

You deserved it 220

Today, while at work, I used the restroom. After I noticed we were out of paper towels, I just tried shaking my hands dry. I then readjusted my bra, since it'd been driving me crazy all day. After getting back to my cubicle, I realized that I had two wet handprints over my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 434

You deserved it 12 611