Work: Today, I was babysitting for my usual. After putting the baby...

By Dx - 06/03/2011 07:18 - United States

Today, I was babysitting for my usual. After putting the baby to sleep I put some popcorn in the microwave and went to the bathroom. When I came out the whole kitchen was filled with smoke. One of the neighbors saw and called 911. I'm out of a job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 235

You deserved it 34 901

The rhythm of the fight
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Same thing different taste

By almost_a_pro - 23/04/2015 13:43 - Brazil - Rio De Janeiro

Today, I was home alone and tried to make some popcorn so I could watch a movie. Thirty minutes later, my parents came home and found me talking to the firemen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 099

You deserved it 9 088

By chinesef000d - 29/08/2009 05:38 - United States

Today, I was sleeping in my apartment when I woke up to the smell of smoke. Alarmed, I ran out to the kitchen to find my roommates trying to put out a fire on the stove. As soon as they saw me, they ran for it, informing me that it was my problem now. They used my good frying pan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 965

You deserved it 3 200

By fire - 15/12/2009 00:00 - United States

Today, I had to call 911. Why? My fireplace caught on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 539

You deserved it 6 608

Emergency cooking

By YoshiSqu4d - 31/07/2020 20:01

Today, I managed to set off the smoke detectors while cooking burgers. The cops and fire department showed up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 141

You deserved it 370

The dipshit in 4B

By DookDaSpook - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - San Francisco

Today, while I was in a very important meeting on Skype, my apartment complex was evacuated due to the fire alarm going off. The reason was that my neighbor put a fork in his microwave due to him being extremely drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 876

You deserved it 1 381

By RandomLG94 - 31/10/2015 20:35 - United States - Columbia

Today, I was fired from my job because I would "scare" the customers. Two days ago a coworker spilled fry oil onto the grill causing flames to singe my eyebrows and the front of my hair off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 031

You deserved it 1 579

Making a scene

By Anonymous - 16/04/2023 18:00

Today, a guy I been seeing went to work and left me in his house. As I made a bagel, it burned, the smoke alarm went off. This activated a call to the fire department but I didn’t know. The fire truck showed up. Little did I know, the guy’s family was outside too, just to see what had happened, thinking I'd broken in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 837

You deserved it 240

Hurry!

By A.. - 04/06/2011 19:48 - Canada

Today, I received a phone call at work about an emergency, and that I had to come home immediately. I arrived to find that no one had been hurt and the house hadn't burned down. The "emergency" was my mom had ran out of milk and cigarettes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 949

You deserved it 3 342

By needs_another_loan - 02/10/2009 01:43 - United States

Today, while I was at work, my wife discovered you cannot put out a grease fire with water. I came home to a frantic spouse, a fire department bill, and a newly destroyed kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 621

You deserved it 2 618

By fireman - 06/10/2010 09:31 - United States

Today, I went over to this girl's house that I really like. I was planning on cooking her dinner. In the process, the grease in the pan got too hot and caught fire. We ended up having to call the fire department. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 200

You deserved it 8 411

LadyLane 0

Sunday 6 March 2011 16:44

If you can't make popcorn, you probably shouldn't baby sit.

christa953 12

Sunday 6 March 2011 16:38

you're out of a job, they're out of a microwave.

Comments

A100893 30

Sunday 6 March 2011 21:40

And again, another FML that reminds me of the Sims...

nixom1334 6

Sunday 6 March 2011 21:42

If you can't sucessfully cook popcorn, in the microwave no less, perhaps you shouldn't be taking cae of children in the first place

MistressKira 0

Sunday 6 March 2011 22:23

I don't see why you would go to the bathroom with popcorn in the microwave. No popcorn will take over two minutes, usually way less.

TheJtSwift 0

Sunday 6 March 2011 22:35

I WOULD MAKE YOUR DUMB ASS BABYSIT FOR FREE TO PAY OFF THE DAMAGES DONE TO MY HOUSE BECAUSE OF YOUR STUPIDITY!

chuckvargas 0

Sunday 6 March 2011 22:41

were u jacking off in the bathroom or something?

Skatejock21 0

Sunday 6 March 2011 23:04

you are dumber then a pole... 'nuff said.

brunettegurly 0

Monday 7 March 2011 3:47

if you can't make popcorn I assume you actually sit on the babies.

YouDeservedItnot 0

Monday 7 March 2011 4:20

Your failure to completely burn down the house and end your series of arsens is no reason to "FYL." At least YOUR kitchen wasn't on fire.

Uscdrew1 7

Monday 7 March 2011 5:43

Don't most microwaves have a poporn button on them?

mylifemyrules 0

Monday 7 March 2011 6:08

what the f bomb are you complaining about? it was obviously your fault for the microwave burning.

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The Top

Today, I accidentally said the wrong name during sex. That name just happened to be "Sarah", which is both my ex-girlfriend's name and my wife's sister's name. When she asked me which one I meant, I panicked and said, "Both." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 152

You deserved it 60 774

Today, I was supposed to be working from home. Instead, I ended up taking the kids out to the park for the morning, because my wife “couldn’t even” today. When we got home, she had demolished two bottles of wine, and was masturbating to a home improvement show. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 041

You deserved it 326

The Top

Today, I found out that the very attractive guy who lives in the house behind mine is working from home. I know this because he waved after catching my performance of singing along to a Smiths song into my hairbrush in front of the mirror, dancing around like a five-year-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 973

You deserved it 411

Today, my father grilled me a little bit for making a print for a cosplay on my $600 FDM printer. Why? Because he "bought the printer for me to make money and not for cosplay" I’m a professional cosplayer who runs a cosplay prop shop. This was for work purposes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 707

You deserved it 241

Today, my house got broken into. They just made a mess. I saw a note on the kitchen table that read "There's nothing good here. You have shitty stuff." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 143

You deserved it 3 069

Today, my smoke alarm has a tendency to give false alarms. Despite this, it did not go off at all when I was genuinely overcooking food and smoke was everywhere in the house, except for the room I was in. My smoke detector is plotting against me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 546

You deserved it 116

Today, I awoke to find a water pipe burst. I frantically ran down to the basement to turn off the water to the house. What I didn't expect when I reached the bottom of the stairs was to have to start dodging the falling, wet ceiling tiles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 695

You deserved it 2 853

Today, I Febrezed my one remaining suit because I haven’t had a chance to go to the dry cleaners yet. I Febrezed it over the bed, so some got on the sheets. My girlfriend then got home and hit me in the head with a vase, because she thought the Febreze on the sheets was another woman’s perfume. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 364

You deserved it 220