Work: Today, I was discussing possible career choices with my relatives....

By flea-bitten - 06/04/2013 19:41 - United States

Today, I was discussing possible career choices with my relatives. Pretty much everyone expressed the belief that I'm screwed for life, with my grandma commenting later: "She ain't even got the tits for porn. God help her." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 403

You deserved it 4 443

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Same thing different taste

By Master Debater - 01/02/2013 11:05 - Australia

Today, my grandmother walked in on me watching porn on my computer. She looked at the woman on the screen and said, "I used to have tits like that, but look what having 7 kids did to them." Now I'm scarred for life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 058

You deserved it 40 148

By Anonymous - 16/10/2010 04:17 - United States

Today, my perfectly sane and healthy 90 year old grandmother had a heart to heart with me. She told me she'd pay for a boob job. When I asked why, she said, "Sweetie, you'll never attract someone with those tiny suckers." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 716

You deserved it 4 022

Cast the first stone

By Anonymous - 23/05/2013 17:48 - Romania - Buzau

Today, I heard my grandma sobbing in her room. After finally convincing her to tell me what was wrong, she confessed to watching a porn video last night. She thinks not being able to sleep afterwards is a sign that God is punishing her, and that she's damned our family to hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 666

You deserved it 3 449

By Anonymous - 23/02/2015 07:45 - United States - Hatfield

Today, away at college, I called my grandmother to hear how she was doing after her knee surgery. She ended up talking about Hooters and how I should work there because of my "rare body". When I mentioned I've been studying computer science, earning a 3.8 GPA, she replied, "But you're a girl." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 454

You deserved it 3 382

Boobaloo

By nerdlette - 15/03/2014 19:34 - United States - Newport News

Today, I was feeling really down and insecure after a friend joked about how small my boobs are. When my grandma got me to tell her what happened, she reassured me that all the girls in our family were late bloomers. I said "Really?" and she replied, "Oh no dear. Quite the opposite." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 129

You deserved it 4 034

By fucked up dad - 11/07/2013 19:50 - Romania - Bucharest

Today, after I got turned down for yet another job, my dad glanced up at me and casually remarked that porn is always a stable market. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 455

You deserved it 6 652

Sex work is real work

By thatssickkk - 17/02/2010 06:40 - United States

Today, my grandmother decided to tell me about her past as a prostitute. In full detail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 573

You deserved it 2 728

By Sgt_Jackrum - 05/02/2016 10:27 - United Kingdom - Oldbury

Today, we had my grandmother with dementia round for tea. She looked me up and down and said, very matter-of-factly, "Well, with a figure like that, no one will rape you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 341

You deserved it 2 402

Mind your own business

By Anonymous - 09/06/2024 07:00 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, my grandmother told me that if I didn’t get my act together, especially regarding a job, my relationship with my girlfriend would fizzle out. This is after I've already applied for 3 jobs. I told her respectfully that our relationship isn’t her business, and she threatened to kick me out of the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 165

You deserved it 591

By for fuck's sake, gran - 25/07/2015 05:30 - United States - Bainbridge

Today, my grandma and I went shopping. When I picked up some shower gel, she started ranting in front of everyone that shower gel injures one's "lady parts" and causes infertility, and that she wants me to give her great-grandchildren. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 490

You deserved it 1 778

GingerNinja7 17

Sunday 7 April 2013 3:25

Troll granny strikes again

CommunistBanana 8

Sunday 7 April 2013 3:27

What is up with these grannies on FML?

Comments

OverBlossomed 21

Monday 8 April 2013 2:35

My family tells me crap like this too. That's why I'm cutting them all off when I leave.

REFF_fml 9

Monday 8 April 2013 3:50

NO SHE DID NOT SAY THAT NOPE UH UN

chuckcloninger 12

Monday 8 April 2013 8:14

Maybe you could become a famous and rich author by writing a book about a nice girl born into a trashy, low class and nasty family led by a horrid, old road ***** of a grandmother. Non-fiction of course.