Intimacy: Today, I was doing laundry while my boyfriend was sitting at... - FML

By RuasaLove - 30/07/2015 02:34 - United States - Pleasantville

Spicy

Today, I was doing laundry while my boyfriend was sitting at the table playing on his phone. I glanced over and caught him watching my ass as I put clothes in the dryer. Trying to be sexy, I looked at him as I slowly bent over to put more clothes in. Instead, I hit my head hard on the dryer door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 445

You deserved it 8 909

Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Heat of passion

By owl + bungee cord - 07/01/2014 20:38 - United States - Herndon

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were in the shower and things were getting heated. I tried to move position, but slipped and fell, bringing the shower curtain I'd grabbed onto down with me along its support rod. My ass hit the floor just as hard as the rod hit my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 530

You deserved it 10 056

Smooth operator

By Nic - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I put on some skimpy shorts and bent down to get something on the bottom shelf of the fridge to get my boyfriend's attention. On my way up, I slammed my head on the edge of the fridge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 953

You deserved it 46 059

Oh hi!

By showerstupid - 04/04/2009 08:04 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend was in the shower, and I decided to go join him. I took all my clothes off and stepped into the bathroom. I slipped on some water, and ended up hitting my head on the toilet and passing out. When I came to, I saw my boyfriend's dad looking over me in his towel. Wrong person. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81 644

You deserved it 44 830

By anonymous - 18/12/2010 09:11 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around. He threw me over his shoulder and turned around, smacking my face against the wall. Then he smacked my head into the fridge after turning round to see "what that loud bang" was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 419

You deserved it 4 472

Steamy

By Hotdamn - 21/03/2016 04:32 - United States - San Francisco

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and steamy in the shower, until I slipped and fell backwards into the shower curtain, which caused me to hit the back of my head on the toilet seat, and the bar of the shower curtain to land on my throat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 288

You deserved it 3 184

Sick moves, dude

By Anonymous - 02/09/2009 09:20 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a shower together for the first time. He was trying impress me and did some sort of dance move, he slipped, and when he fell he kicked my leg out causing me to fall and hit my face on the faucet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 405

You deserved it 4 241

Check these out!

By elevenharries - 03/06/2010 08:54 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, after staying at my boyfriend's house for the first time, I got in the shower. His bathroom door doesn't lock, so half way through my shower he walked in. Trying to be sexy, I pressed myself up against the glass, which turned out the be a door that opens outwards. I fell on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 106

You deserved it 42 368

By staciedee - 01/06/2010 09:49 - United States

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be cute to try and pick me up while kissing, instead he tripped and slammed the back of my head on the corner of the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 172

You deserved it 4 955

Wrong sort of poking

By Anonymous - 22/09/2013 05:40 - United States - Brandon

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend got out of the shower and tried to hit my forehead with his penis. He slipped and slapped me in the eye with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 193

You deserved it 9 739

By 20lbknockout - 20/10/2009 04:26 - United States

Today, I was exercising, laid on my back, lifting weights over my head. My boyfriend thought it would be funny to casually sit by my feet and suddenly tickle them mercilessly. Caught off guard, I started wiggling, laughed and dropped the weights. On my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 097

You deserved it 3 547

Next

Top comments

jayennachristine 23

Thursday 30 July 2015 15:13

Quit banging the dryer and ban him

djcity 11

Thursday 30 July 2015 15:11

Hey who put that there....

Comments

fuck_life45 1

Saturday 1 August 2015 2:08

sounds like something I'd do

dee_cann23 3

Saturday 1 August 2015 20:49

It couldn't be that hard you slowly bent over?

Moniquey73 13

Sunday 2 August 2015 8:04

he already thought you were sexy.

Creed_Aprooved 12

Sunday 2 August 2015 20:14

LET THE BODIES HIT THE... door?

vesquivel62 12

Tuesday 4 August 2015 20:53

Hey at least you pleased him! every guy loves a sexy and stupid girl!

kirbsyeahbabe 8

Saturday 14 November 2015 4:54

Hey, at least you didn't fart.

twarn15 6

Monday 14 December 2015 13:44

sure he loved that

Bt1234567890 10

Wednesday 29 June 2016 18:38

Hey don't beat yourself up! At least u were trying ! And that's a lot more than most woman can say !

Keywords

Poopoo peepee Transportation Cars Awkward Dentist Health Love Shopping My ex Animals Cats Work Job interview Clothes Miscellaneous Weird Holidays Family Vacation Annoying AITA Am I overreacting? Parents Funerals Harassment Relatable Engagement Food Ironic Money

The Top

Today, our baby refuses to sleep through the night. My dad told us to play Heavy Metal because it put me to sleep as a baby. We are currently playing "Jekyll and Hyde" by Five Finger Death Punch on repeat and she’s been asleep for 7 hours. Unfortunately, the neighbours are furious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 330

You deserved it 178

Today, my estranged wife threatened to slit her wrist with a razor blade if I did not send her $50,000. She sent me a picture of her pressing a Gillette Safety razor to her wrist. It looked like she was getting ready to shave her perpetually hairy arms. She never was the sharpest knife in the drawer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 379

You deserved it 76

The Top

Today, while playing badminton at school, I got an opponent who is mentally handicapped. Since I'm terrible at the game, I guess the teacher assumed it would be a good match. I won the match, my first victory ever. My teacher accused me of cheating to humiliate him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 064

You deserved it 4 480

Today, the wife and I were in the middle of having sex. She was bent over and I was taking her to pound town. I look over to see my 3 year-old son standing in the doorway, humping air. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 371

You deserved it 2 475

Today, after I had a miscarriage in December, and finding out in June that I was 13 weeks pregnant with twins, I was told out that Baby B had consumed Baby A. FML

I agree, your life sucks 530

You deserved it 97

Today, I found out my work gave me a vacation for my performance. It's a trip to somewhere in the Caribbean, with the nickname "The Sunniest Place on Earth." I have skin cancer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 921

You deserved it 4 202

Today, I was waiting for my food at McDonald's. I watched the most obese, sweaty man sneeze into the chips, wipe his nose on his hand and use his hand to shovel chips into a bag. They were my chips. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 838

You deserved it 5 530

Today, I was talking to my best friend's brother after we drunkenly hooked up last night. I've had a crush on him for over a year. He ended up interrupting himself and said, "Please don't tell anyone about this. I don't want anyone to think we're dating or anything." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 266

You deserved it 6 415