Miscellaneous: Today, I was driving home. I desperately needed the bathroom,...

By Anonymous - 20/08/2015 17:25 - United States - Houston

Today, I was driving home. I desperately needed the bathroom, so I was speeding a little bit. A cop pulled me over and gave me hell. He said he'd heard my story a hundred times and didn't believe me. I couldn't hold it and ended up marinating in my own piss while he ran my plates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 079

You deserved it 2 845

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By jojo - 06/05/2009 19:11 - United States

Today, while driving home I had to pee really bad, so I speeded up to get home quicker. I got pulled over for speeding and peed my pants. The cop, assuming I was drunk, made me take a sobriety test. I had to walk a straight line with piss all over my pants at 2:00 in the afternoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 526

You deserved it 12 876

Pissed

By anonymous - 19/10/2009 19:16 - United States

Today, I drove 100 miles from my parents' house to mine. I had only a few miles left when I realized I really had to pee. I didn't want to pull over somewhere when I was so close to home, so I sped up. A cop pulled me over a block from my house. I started to sob, and ended up peeing myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 261

You deserved it 15 468

Thank you for your service

By Paulalala - 11/09/2024 20:00 - United States - Helena

Today, I was pulled over for speeding. The cop asked if I had a reason for going so fast. I panicked and said, “I have to poop.” He followed me home with lights on, just to make sure I made it. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 113

You deserved it 452

What he is thinking?

By fishyrael - 12/11/2019 01:00

Today, I was on a long road trip and I really had to pee. With no rest stop for miles and night having fallen, I decided to pull over on the side of the highway and pee in a fast food cup. A cop knocked on the window to see if everything was okay, while I was mid-squat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 848

You deserved it 298

Potholing

By limpdick9 - 19/11/2014 18:44 - United States - San Francisco

Today, a cop car was tailing me. I was scared, and trying to avoid any tickets, I drove straight through a huge pothole rather than swerving to avoid it. The cop pulled me over and insisted I was intoxicated, because, "anybody in their right mind would've dodged that pothole." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 493

You deserved it 7 185

Bladder control

By Anonymous - 27/08/2023 14:00

Today, while driving my son and his friend home, I was so frantic to pee, I was bouncing up and down in my seat. I stopped and ran into a store but it was too late. There was a line and I made it 11 seconds. I was radiating heat from the humiliation of walking past dozens of people after peeing my pants. I even apologized. FML

I agree, your life sucks 638

You deserved it 158

By Anonymous - 06/12/2010 19:11 - United States

Today, I was smoking while driving. A cop pulled me over and asked if I knew what I did wrong. I thought he could smell the tobacco, so I decided to just admit it. As it turns out, I was going well over the speed limit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 317

You deserved it 39 803

Alexa, play "Tailights Fade" by Buffalo Tom

By Anonymous - 28/11/2021 13:59 - United States - Fredonia

Today, I got pulled over for a broken taillight. When I rolled down the window, the cop asked me if I was smoking crack. When I told him I didn't do drugs, he didn't believe me since he could detect a foul odor coming from my car. I'd just passed gas big time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 181

You deserved it 190

Am I being detained?

By Anonymous - 15/10/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, I got pulled over for speeding. I tried to make a joke to ease the tension and said, "I’m just trying to keep up with the traffic!" The officer looked around at the empty road and said, "What traffic? Are you under the influence? HANDS ON THE WHEEL!" It went downhill from there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115

You deserved it 597

By imnotcool - 16/04/2009 05:08 - United States

Today, I was driving home from work when I saw a cop come up behind me. Nervous about my expired license, I kept checking in my rear view mirror. In turn since I wasn't paying attention, I ran a stop sign. Needless to say the cop pulled me over and gave me 2 tickets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 564

You deserved it 68 111

Blackhawk706 23

Friday 21 August 2015 7:04

Next time just stop at a gas station

jaspinkgrl01 18

Friday 21 August 2015 7:04

Well...did he still give you the ticket?

Comments

fohfuu 9

Friday 21 August 2015 8:20

Doesn't matter if you really needed a pee. What if you hit someone? What if you caused someone to hit another car? The safety of other people is way more important. If you needed a pee that badly, find another way.

swash984 22

Friday 21 August 2015 8:39

Speeding isn't the same as reckless driving. The flow of traffic in my area is generally 7-8 miles over the speed limit. If he was riding people's ass, or jumping in front of people then op would be causing issues. I believe you can go over the speed limit and still be a safe driver...

9a_1z 12

Friday 21 August 2015 12:23

He was speeding enough to be noticed by the police and a desperate need for the bathroom must be distracting. So many accidents and fatalities happen on the roads each day, I'd take it as a lesson and pull over somewhere safe instead of risking it next time.

ohSNAPyall 26

Friday 21 August 2015 8:24

Marinating in piss? At least you weren't stewing in poo.

trevorr_16 25

Friday 21 August 2015 8:28

Maybe next time you should stop somewhere unless you happen to live in a completely isolated area or on a mountain.

Nina825 21

Friday 21 August 2015 8:29

I wonder his reaction afterwards :p did he give any tickets?

MagnusDeus 24

Friday 21 August 2015 8:33

Well, according to a statistic I once heard from a friend, that is the most commonly used excuse. I probably would've used something else. Not that you deserved it.

Shannon98 16

Friday 21 August 2015 8:43

Was the cop at least a little bit sympathetic after your incident

limegreenpoopie 31

Friday 21 August 2015 8:51

You can always stop somewhere...

youngsparrow 21

Friday 21 August 2015 9:12

Or if you're too stubborn to go before you leave, sport some adult diapers lol, at least if you wear them you won't have to worry about speeding home and potential encounters with the cops.