Miscellaneous: Today, I was drunk and crashed on my friend's couch to sober...

By Anonymous - 18/05/2009 06:45 - Canada

Today, I was drunk and crashed on my friend's couch to sober up. On the drive home, a cop pulled me over for seemingly no reason. He kept asking if I had been drinking, to which I answered no. Finally, he told me to look in the mirror. My friends had written all over my face while I slept. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 992

You deserved it 24 005

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 25/08/2011 06:49 - United States

Today, I was the designated driver. On the way home with my drunk friends, they decide to give me a beer shower. I swerved, and was pulled over by a cop moments after. I was the only one arrested. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 146

You deserved it 3 487

By ironic driver - 04/09/2011 22:10 - United States

Today, I was pulled over for a DWI. The police officer was drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 567

You deserved it 4 614

By Anonymous - 02/01/2015 22:14 - United States - Baltimore

Today, I got shitfaced at a club. A cute girl I'd met earlier in the evening offered to drive me home in my car and spend the night with me. She crashed my car and did a runner before the cops showed up. They wouldn't believe my story. I now have a wrecked car and a DUI. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 109

You deserved it 10 266

By Anonymous - 31/05/2012 19:03 - Canada

Today, I drunkenly staggered home and crashed on the couch. When I woke up I realized it wasn't my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 629

You deserved it 34 436

By Gg - 23/07/2009 21:19 - United Kingdom

Today, I bust my lip when a car bumped into mine. As I headed home, I was stopped by the police who told me my back light was out. I tried to explain, but it just came out as "fghjiljh" because of my lip. I was arrested on suspicion of drinking and driving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 979

You deserved it 4 134

Adding insult to injury

By Username - 10/02/2011 02:48 - United States

Today, I got into an accident and my car was totaled. My friends then took me out to a bar for a drink to make me feel better. It appears that the police officer I'd spoken to had kept my I.D. by mistake and I couldn't get into the bar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 432

You deserved it 4 070

By drewig - 10/05/2010 05:28 - United States

Today, I was driving home from work when I was pulled over by a cop. She asked why I was being pulled over and figuring she knew I said, "For swerving because of my alcohol problem." I had a broken tail light. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 149

You deserved it 53 593

By Anonymous - 26/03/2012 01:10 - United States

Today, I woke up in jail charged with a DWI. I wasn't drinking last night and the only thing I remember is taking my prescription sleep medicine and lying down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 363

You deserved it 2 582

By Noj12345 - 25/06/2009 08:05 - United States

Today, after finishing work, my friend was having a party next door and my driveway was blocked. I parked 6 houses down and went to the party for 20mins. After coming out after 3 beers, I went to move my car back to my house and go to sleep. I got a DUI for driving 30 feet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 293

You deserved it 57 196

Potholing

By limpdick9 - 19/11/2014 18:44 - United States - San Francisco

Today, a cop car was tailing me. I was scared, and trying to avoid any tickets, I drove straight through a huge pothole rather than swerving to avoid it. The cop pulled me over and insisted I was intoxicated, because, "anybody in their right mind would've dodged that pothole." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 493

You deserved it 7 185

sparda4355 0

Monday 18 May 2009 16:51

People... He crashed on his friends couch long enough to sober up! At which point all he was thinking about was his own comfy bed! He didn't look in the mirror because he wanted to get home. It makes sense! OP... Light weight! Never fall asleep first!

Dogmaw 0

Monday 18 May 2009 16:14

If you were still too messed up to see the writing in your mirrors, you shouldn't have been driving.

Comments

fmlbeast 0

Tuesday 19 May 2009 2:00

or maybe like 8============================================D

fmlbeast 0

Tuesday 19 May 2009 2:02

or maybe even 8====================================================D

fmlbeast 0

Tuesday 19 May 2009 2:06

8==================================================================D

fmlbeast 0

Tuesday 19 May 2009 2:09

8==============================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================D

fmlbeast 0

Tuesday 19 May 2009 2:12

8=================================================================D 8=================================================================D 8=================================================================D 8=================================================================D 8=================================================================D 8=================================================================D 8=================================================================D 8=================================================================D 8=================================================================D 8=================================================================D 8=================================================================D 8=================================================================D 8=================================================================D

SuperSpore 0

Tuesday 19 May 2009 2:13

Wonder what he wrote?

Shadydeals 0

Tuesday 19 May 2009 2:16

Yeah some kids at school today got their hair & eyebrows shaved off whilst being passed out.

roflcopter657 0

Tuesday 19 May 2009 2:30

You guys are all so stupid. First of all, He was SOBER. THUS NO DRUNK DRIVING. Second, I'm guessing you guy have never driven before because my mirrors aren't freakin' showing me my own damn face, it's reflecting THE ROAD. idiots! All of you!