Animals: Today, I was eating ice cream and I noticed some on my jeans...

By #201 - 05/02/2009 13:23 - United States

Today, I was eating ice cream and I noticed some on my jeans so I wiped it off with my finger and licked it. It was bird shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 472

You deserved it 16 554

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Same thing different taste

By MJ3105 - 07/05/2009 11:36 - Israel

Today, I was eating at a restaurant patio with a few friends. After the waitress cleaned up our table there was a drop of mayonnaise on the table. I wiped it with my finger and licked it. It wasn’t mayo, it was bird shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 170

You deserved it 153 049

Nice bird

By Sick - 01/01/2020 01:00 - Netherlands - Ede

Today, a bird shit on my jacket whilst smoking, I cleaned it and went back outside, and got shit on again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 807

You deserved it 988

Surprise strike

By Anonymous - 28/06/2020 20:02

Today, as I was walking home with dinner, a pigeon pooped on my leg like a dive bomb. My hands were full carrying the food, so I had to walk the rest of the way with a smear on my jeans that everyone knew what it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 367

You deserved it 189

By lbg2msf - 06/11/2013 18:08 - United States - Biloxi

Today, I walked under a tree and heard birds chirping from above. I stopped and looked up, only to catch a face full of bird shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 848

You deserved it 9 501

Absentmindedly

By Anonymous - 06/09/2022 19:00

Today, I saw some reddish-colored stuff on my finger after wiping my face. I thought it was blood at first, so I smelled it, then licked it, I don't know why the fuck I did that but anyways, I later realized I'd wiped off some of my eyeshadow and frickin ate it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 268

You deserved it 1 230

By poopedon - 26/04/2009 03:10 - Canada

Today, I was at the beach and fell asleep in the sun. When I woke up, there was a blob of sunscreen on my leg. Thinking it was my boyfriend who was sweet enough to squeeze sunscreen for me, I rubbed it into my leg. After smelling my hands, I discovered it was bird poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 997

You deserved it 18 158

By Shinobi_3 - 26/02/2010 17:43 - United States

Today, while I was eating, a fly kept pissing me off. After three minutes of it buzzing around, I caught it and killed it. Then, without realizing it, I smeared its guts all over the front of my shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 837

You deserved it 29 329

By shitlicker - 08/12/2015 04:38 - United States - La Verne

Today, I lost my balance trying to get my bag out of my car. In doing so, my lips came in contact with some bird poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 182

You deserved it 2 141

Bizarre topping

By Grossed out - 10/11/2021 11:00

Today, I was eating an ice cream on a sidewalk and some woman decided it was time to clip her toenails on her balcony above me. One of the nail shards fell onto my ice cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 257

You deserved it 99

By pass me the fucking rope - 18/06/2016 13:17 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, just when I thought my day couldn't get any worse, a bird shat on my lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 449

You deserved it 943

s_l_h82 0

Thursday 5 February 2009 22:14

i literally laughed my face off for at least 10 mins after reading this. Thanks for shairing BAHAHAHAHA

Dr_Phil 0

Thursday 5 February 2009 18:55

You didn't notice the bird poo on your pants ... ? Anyway, sucks that you licked bird poo. That's totally gross.

Comments

Drakestress 17

Tuesday 3 March 2015 20:57

Well then, what does bird poop taste like? Inquiring minds want to know

momo3p 22

Thursday 14 January 2016 15:37

What's up with people on this site eating bird shit

jsrf 8

Saturday 13 February 2016 21:20

I bet it taste like shit

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