Animals: Today, I was eating ice cream and I noticed some on my jeans...

By #201 - 05/02/2009 13:23 - United States

Today, I was eating ice cream and I noticed some on my jeans so I wiped it off with my finger and licked it. It was bird shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 472

You deserved it 16 555

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Same thing different taste

By MJ3105 - 07/05/2009 11:36 - Israel

Today, I was eating at a restaurant patio with a few friends. After the waitress cleaned up our table there was a drop of mayonnaise on the table. I wiped it with my finger and licked it. It wasn’t mayo, it was bird shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 170

You deserved it 153 049

Nice bird

By Sick - 01/01/2020 01:00 - Netherlands - Ede

Today, a bird shit on my jacket whilst smoking, I cleaned it and went back outside, and got shit on again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 807

You deserved it 989

Surprise strike

By Anonymous - 28/06/2020 20:02

Today, as I was walking home with dinner, a pigeon pooped on my leg like a dive bomb. My hands were full carrying the food, so I had to walk the rest of the way with a smear on my jeans that everyone knew what it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 367

You deserved it 189

By lbg2msf - 06/11/2013 18:08 - United States - Biloxi

Today, I walked under a tree and heard birds chirping from above. I stopped and looked up, only to catch a face full of bird shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 848

You deserved it 9 501

Absentmindedly

By Anonymous - 06/09/2022 19:00

Today, I saw some reddish-colored stuff on my finger after wiping my face. I thought it was blood at first, so I smelled it, then licked it, I don't know why the fuck I did that but anyways, I later realized I'd wiped off some of my eyeshadow and frickin ate it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 268

You deserved it 1 230

By poopedon - 26/04/2009 03:10 - Canada

Today, I was at the beach and fell asleep in the sun. When I woke up, there was a blob of sunscreen on my leg. Thinking it was my boyfriend who was sweet enough to squeeze sunscreen for me, I rubbed it into my leg. After smelling my hands, I discovered it was bird poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 997

You deserved it 18 158

By Shinobi_3 - 26/02/2010 17:43 - United States

Today, while I was eating, a fly kept pissing me off. After three minutes of it buzzing around, I caught it and killed it. Then, without realizing it, I smeared its guts all over the front of my shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 837

You deserved it 29 329

By shitlicker - 08/12/2015 04:38 - United States - La Verne

Today, I lost my balance trying to get my bag out of my car. In doing so, my lips came in contact with some bird poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 182

You deserved it 2 141

Natural selection

By Anonymous - 29/11/2024 13:00 - Canada - Minnedosa

Today, while eating dinner, my child picked up a piece of their chicken off the floor and put it in their mouth. It wasn’t until during bath time did I realize it wasn't chicken but poop that fell out of their diaper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 171

You deserved it 358

Bizarre topping

By Grossed out - 10/11/2021 11:00

Today, I was eating an ice cream on a sidewalk and some woman decided it was time to clip her toenails on her balcony above me. One of the nail shards fell onto my ice cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 257

You deserved it 99

s_l_h82 0

Thursday 5 February 2009 22:14

i literally laughed my face off for at least 10 mins after reading this. Thanks for shairing BAHAHAHAHA

Dr_Phil 0

Thursday 5 February 2009 18:55

You didn't notice the bird poo on your pants ... ? Anyway, sucks that you licked bird poo. That's totally gross.

Comments

login6437 0

Saturday 27 February 2010 3:07

bird flu!!!

mits_lancer 0

Friday 5 March 2010 8:53

thats discusting.

mittliv 0

Sunday 7 March 2010 5:46

hahahaha

lidomissmango 0

Monday 22 March 2010 0:00

omg that's sooooooooo gross!

metroid3802 0

Sunday 28 March 2010 3:28

YDI for eating vanilla XD jk that totaly sucks

michaelscot23 0

Sunday 25 April 2010 22:43

I didn't know they made bird shit ice cream

jordan75_fml 0

Wednesday 2 June 2010 6:24

XD that is ******* hilarious!

00yoda4 0

Saturday 19 June 2010 4:14

I want sum

Samko_chan 5

Monday 21 June 2010 7:28

OMG OP this happened to me I was having cookies and cream ice cream and have a pet parrot LOL

geovanni 9

Thursday 15 July 2010 17:10

get checked for salmonella

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