Intimacy: Today, I was feeling frisky for the first time in months, so...

By Anonymous - 25/02/2012 03:07 - United States

Today, I was feeling frisky for the first time in months, so I started feeling up my husband. He kept insisting he had a headache and that he wasn't feeling it tonight. When I noticed his sarcasm, he said "Yeah, doesn't feel so great, does it?" and turned the TV volume up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 078

You deserved it 61 388

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Same thing different taste

By sarajj - 29/03/2013 21:36 - United States - Littleton

Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 689

You deserved it 9 297

Revealing

By kitkat545 - 15/06/2009 23:18 - United States

Today, my husband called me from work just to chat. He asked what I had been up to today. I was feeling frisky so I told him all about how I had gotten horny, watched a porno and masturbated earlier. It wasn't until I heard the hoots and laughter that I realized he had me on speakerphone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 080

You deserved it 51 001

By Nomoresandwish - 29/11/2009 08:55 - United States

Today, when I had a go at my husband for spending way too much time in front of the TV, he pointed the remote control at me while miming turning down the volume in order to make me shut up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 214

You deserved it 13 465

Big kid

By Anonymous - 08/09/2012 14:20 - United States - Rhodes

Today, I told my husband that I'm tired of feeling like his "blow-up doll". His response was to honk my boob and make squeaking noises. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 388

You deserved it 5 717

By Djcc - 21/02/2012 18:03 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were watching TV, I asked him if he loved me. He turned up the volume. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 985

You deserved it 7 113

By Married Life 101 - 16/05/2019 02:41

Today, my husband woke up in the middle of the night feeling frisky. He woke me up, got me all hot and ready to go, then before I could get into position he fell back to sleep, leaving me to fend for myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 557

You deserved it 243

By 404: fuck not given - 23/11/2014 16:34 - United States - Saint Louis

Today, I started to get horny while watching TV with my husband. I tried turning him on by telling him I wanted his cock. He cheerfully replied without looking away from the TV, "If only I gave a fuck, babe, if only I gave a fuck!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 056

You deserved it 5 594

By milked - 27/02/2015 05:28 - United States

Today, as I was about to have sex with my husband, I said I wanted to "spice things up." Apparently, our ideas weren't the same. He yanked my nipples as hard as he could and said, "Yeah, you like that?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 424

You deserved it 6 869

The "He's probably thinking of other girls" meme gone wrong

By Anonymous - 25/10/2021 23:00

Today, my insomnia got so bad that I became convinced my husband was having an affair in our bed right next to me. I punched him so hard in the shoulder that he awoke from a sound sleep, farted, and then shook it off and went back to sleep unfazed. I'm so jealous. FML

I agree, your life sucks 422

You deserved it 1 403

Sexy time

By yuckmouth! - 28/11/2022 10:00

Today, having been in a bit of a dry spell, my husband woke up feeling frisky. I was feeling it too, but I asked if he could get up and brush his teeth as I’d already brushed mine and wanted to have some fun. Instead, he stormed off, insisting I'd ruined the mood. Sorry but morning breath is gross. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 053

You deserved it 622

OGReaper 2

Saturday 25 February 2012 6:59

Thats what you get.

kickuwithmyfist 1

Saturday 25 February 2012 7:00

Access denied

Comments

hannikins 13

Thursday 20 February 2014 6:46

Ha if I were you I would have went out. Bought a *****. And said "your services are no longer required in the bedroom". Have a cheeky smile. And made my way to the spare bedroom.

DG25_fml 5

Tuesday 27 January 2015 21:01

And that's how you get a divorce.

undercoverninja 9

Saturday 6 September 2014 20:11

sex helps with head aches

terrihart 8

Saturday 3 January 2015 10:03

lol

alchemist27 13

Monday 6 July 2015 21:06

Rekt

Nobinx 15

Tuesday 10 May 2016 0:50

Why are you all blaming her? It's nor her fault when she's not able to feel a sex drive. Do you really believe that women should spread their legs whenever their men want them to? Even when she has no fun out of it or does not like it or even gets hurt?? When a woman is not aroused, she is dry and tight and it hurts like hell and causes painful bladder infections if he brainlessly humps her anyway. So maybe he should take his time and try to arouse and pleasure her, instead of demanding 5 minutes of painful dryhumping. Maybe she wants sex more often if it is plesurable...