Intimacy: Today, I was getting dirty looks on the train whilst air strumming...

By anonymouse - 09/03/2011 19:37 - Reserved

Today, I was getting dirty looks on the train whilst air strumming the guitar to a song on my iPod, after glancing at the reflection in the window I realized it looked like I was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 911

You deserved it 42 611

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Same thing different taste

By danesy - 10/03/2009 02:04 - United States

Today, I was taking the subway to school. It was around 6:30am and I was listening to music and catching up on homework. When I took my headphones off to readjust them, I heard some grunting. I looked over at the man across from me to see he was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 248

You deserved it 3 790

Bill or Ted?

By NotWhatItLooksLike - 30/06/2024 14:00 - United States - Staten Island

Today, I was listening to music while wearing my headphones on campus. A song I really liked came on, and after a while, I started doing air guitar along to it. I was soon accosted by campus security. Apparently, air guitar looks like jerking off from really far away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 396

You deserved it 234

By Embarassed - 30/08/2009 05:25 - United States

Today, I had to explain to my father why most of the bar was giving him dirty looks at a concert. His air guitar motions made it look like he was jacking off under the table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 345

You deserved it 3 038

Perv!

By Thithien1 - 01/04/2009 06:07 - Korea Republic of

Today, I was on a crowded subway going home. My trousers were a bit dusty so I tried to dust myself off. As I was slapping the side of my leg I missed and hit a woman behind me in the ass. She called me a pervert and walked off. Everyone stared at me. It takes 40 minutes to get home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 909

You deserved it 12 672

By IsThisRealLife - 01/02/2016 17:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up with an extremely irritable rash around my crotch. I didn't want to full out itch it by putting my hands down my pants, so I itched it by putting my hand in my pockets. I got kicked off the train for "pleasuring myself in public." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 912

You deserved it 5 805

By bridezilla - 05/07/2009 04:12 - Canada

Today, I was on a train when an old man standing next to me very obviously checked me out, caught my eye, and winked. He spent the next five minutes rubbing his penis against my leg. When I turned to tell him off, the train lurched, and the old man fell face first into my breasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 497

You deserved it 6 861

Small mistake

By lorahayes - 05/01/2012 18:39 - United Kingdom

Today, I was on the train listening to my iPod on shuffle. The "Oompa Loompa" song came on, and slightly amused, I started humming it. It wasn't until I noticed that the man next to me was a midget that I understood the horrified looks I was getting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 939

You deserved it 10 299

By terry - 02/11/2009 01:22 - United States

Today, I was DJing for a church event where I was stationed in the middle and everyone was sitting behind me. I walked over to get something to drink and eat and come back with glaring looks. My screensaver had came on with pictures of my naked girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 235

You deserved it 52 781

By morethanredhands - 21/05/2012 05:56

Today, while in the bathroom, I started absent-mindedly drumming on my thighs. I didn't stop to think that people outside would think I was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 754

You deserved it 7 820

You wanker

By dinosaucer - 12/10/2011 00:19 - United States

Today, I was accused of masturbating during work. I was actually just getting something out of my pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 300

You deserved it 3 563

urdirtyolduncle 15

Wednesday 9 March 2011 23:48

quit jerking around!

KMilliron 2

Wednesday 9 March 2011 23:50

I air guitar all the time. But as I also play real guitar I know how to air rock out accurately and in a non masturbatory fashion. Also helps to air rock in groups. That's how I roll.

Comments

cupcakemonster10_fml 0

Thursday 10 March 2011 4:32

LMAO! 

ChrisLTC 3

Thursday 10 March 2011 5:12

you forgot to mention you were listening to Justin Bieber!

KCTruth4 0

Thursday 10 March 2011 5:16

u are now my hero #1

CommonSenseKarma 17

Thursday 10 March 2011 5:19

You MUST play guitar like a boss. We all look like we're jackin' off.

phatdaddy62 23

Thursday 10 March 2011 5:24

YDI for spanking the monkey!

Themuffinman728 0

Thursday 10 March 2011 5:57

guitars are stupid. so are you.

BruisedGiraffe 15

Thursday 10 March 2011 6:03

Ha next time put lotion on your hands and really freak them out

sourgirl101 28

Thursday 10 March 2011 7:03

Were you going off the rails on a "Crazy Train"?(:

j_cat187 19

Thursday 10 March 2011 7:09

now on jacking off and i know why, cuz im high, cuz im high, cuz im high

sourgirl101 28

Thursday 10 March 2011 7:37

I was gonna make love to you but then I got high I was gonna eat your pussy too but then I got high Now I'm jackin' off and I know why (Because I got high, because I got high, because I got high) *I love that song*