Animals: Today, I was getting my cat some canned food. Out of habit I...

By OldHabitsDieHard - 18/09/2013 14:53 - United States - Erie

Today, I was getting my cat some canned food. Out of habit I licked the spoon after I had emptied the can only to realize too late what I had done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 720

You deserved it 18 763

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Same thing different taste

By ilovecharliesheen - 17/03/2015 07:14 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I accidentally ate a cat treat instead of a cinnamon-glazed pecan. I thought it must have been burnt by the way it tasted, so ate a few more before I figured out my mistake and spat them out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 614

You deserved it 14 270

By Anonymous - 04/08/2016 21:25

Today, I made myself a snack. I took a seemingly clean plate from the sink which had been used earlier for scrambled eggs. Only after I'd made the snack did I remember I let my dog lick the plate clean. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 996

You deserved it 15 588

By upliftmofo - 28/03/2011 05:56 - Belgium

Today, I discovered my cat frequently licks my toothbrush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 665

You deserved it 5 983

By jsmills92 - 21/12/2012 00:26 - United States - Cranston

Today, I once again walked in on my husband eating our cat's food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 424

You deserved it 4 454

Haute cuisine

By youwouldbeacat - 28/04/2009 02:38 - United States

Today, I was making a nacho and grabbed some refried beans that were in a plastic container out of the fridge and put them on top of the chips. After I’m completely done eating my mom looks in the fridge and asked me if I knew where the cat food was. I just ate a small can of cat food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 749

You deserved it 53 580

Absentmindedly

By Anonymous - 06/09/2022 19:00

Today, I saw some reddish-colored stuff on my finger after wiping my face. I thought it was blood at first, so I smelled it, then licked it, I don't know why the fuck I did that but anyways, I later realized I'd wiped off some of my eyeshadow and frickin ate it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 268

You deserved it 1 230

Con Artist Kitty

By Tray - 25/09/2017 20:13

Today, I had just finished making myself an ice cream cone when my cat puked all over the floor. I set my cone on the counter while I cleaned up, and when I finished, my cat was licking it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 875

You deserved it 633

By whatdidimarry - 24/09/2015 23:31 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, I caught my husband and the cat licking the butter together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 269

You deserved it 2 303

By princeronron - 08/09/2015 02:02 - Switzerland - Prilly

Today, I spilled the bowl of cat food I'd just filled. I picked it all up in front of my cat, but he refused to eat any of it. I had to put the food back into the packet and fill the bowl all over again. My cat is a prince. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 693

You deserved it 6 037

Smelly glasses for life

By Anonymous - 16/09/2022 06:30 - United States

Today, I used my towel on the counter to clean my glasses. Apparently, my foster cat had peed on it during the night. The wet towel hit my mouth. I started out my day with cat pee on my lips. FML

I agree, your life sucks 850

You deserved it 313

PenguinBitch 43

Wednesday 18 September 2013 19:15

Reminds me of that Spongebob episode where he tastes Gary's food.

GetGulley 12

Wednesday 18 September 2013 19:19

The most important meal of the day, serving it up Gary's way!

Comments

HighasaCloud 46

Thursday 19 September 2013 1:47

What harm can it do?

fukre 3

Thursday 19 September 2013 3:34

He he he he.... Bdw, how ws d taste?

HockeyGirlLover 7

Thursday 19 September 2013 3:43

Sponge bob is that you?

blueknight1st 26

Thursday 19 September 2013 4:30

Relax. By law canned cat and dog food has to be fit for human consumption in case of times when food is scarce or personal hardship.

doodlebug33 20

Thursday 19 September 2013 4:34

This is why I'm glad that my cat eats dry food lol

thewife5 19

Thursday 19 September 2013 6:45

Gross... You'll live, but I bet it tastes as nasty as it smells... FYL

Obey_StudBoii 23

Thursday 19 September 2013 8:20

Guess #15 likes the smell of balls to his face

Obey_StudBoii 23

Thursday 19 September 2013 8:22

I cringed when I read this.

longbeck4 28

Thursday 19 September 2013 9:06

heard thus one already.

RKD 23

Thursday 19 September 2013 21:25

Actually read about a Russian defector during the Cold Warwho thought it was meat and had a good meal on it,,,,years later he tried it again,,,,

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend of a year told me he is at the point in his life where he is ready to start a family, get married and have a baby. He also casually stated that he wished he could meet someone he could see himself settling down with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 334

You deserved it 4 255

Today, I put my sexiest lingerie on, lit candles, put some sensual music on, and got my bed ready to surprise my boyfriend when he came home. I positioned myself in the sexiest pose possible. He came home and didn't come in my room for twenty minutes because of a football game. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 145

You deserved it 6 978

The Top

Today, I moved in with my boyfriend. The first thing he did was hand me a paper containing listed rules he expects me to follow. When I asked if it was a joke, he promptly pointed to number 7 on the list, "Cleanliness is not a joke". FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 629

You deserved it 6 648

Today, I'm super sick with a sinus infection and delirious from a lack of sleep and all the meds. When I walked into math class, a boy asked if he could sit next to me. In my head I tried to say, "This is college you have the freedom to sit anywhere you want." All that came out was, "Freedom… everywhere." FML

I agree, your life sucks 649

You deserved it 221

Today, my brother decided our bathroom needed a clock so he used an old DVD player. He put it on the edge of the tub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 361

You deserved it 3 836

Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had to stop at Starbucks to get my boss a drink. His son, who is at least 30 minutes late to work every day, was just walking in as I was walking out with all of my stuff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 886

You deserved it 1 117

Today, I called up the boy I like to ask him on a date. He said "Haha, thats a pretty good impression Chris. Next time pick someone less ugly and maybe I'd think this is real." He thought I was his friend prank calling him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 90 445

You deserved it 4 991

Today, as I was walking to work, a cyclist shot out of nowhere and slammed into me. I hit the ground hard and lay there in agony. The guy quickly dusted himself off, said "Sorry man. It's a vicious cycle." then chuckled at his own stupid pun and cycled away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 537

You deserved it 3 025