Animals: Today, I was getting my cat some canned food. Out of habit I...

By OldHabitsDieHard - 18/09/2013 14:53 - United States - Erie

Today, I was getting my cat some canned food. Out of habit I licked the spoon after I had emptied the can only to realize too late what I had done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 720

You deserved it 18 763

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Same thing different taste

By ilovecharliesheen - 17/03/2015 07:14 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I accidentally ate a cat treat instead of a cinnamon-glazed pecan. I thought it must have been burnt by the way it tasted, so ate a few more before I figured out my mistake and spat them out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 614

You deserved it 14 270

By Anonymous - 04/08/2016 21:25

Today, I made myself a snack. I took a seemingly clean plate from the sink which had been used earlier for scrambled eggs. Only after I'd made the snack did I remember I let my dog lick the plate clean. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 996

You deserved it 15 588

By upliftmofo - 28/03/2011 05:56 - Belgium

Today, I discovered my cat frequently licks my toothbrush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 665

You deserved it 5 983

By jsmills92 - 21/12/2012 00:26 - United States - Cranston

Today, I once again walked in on my husband eating our cat's food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 424

You deserved it 4 454

Haute cuisine

By youwouldbeacat - 28/04/2009 02:38 - United States

Today, I was making a nacho and grabbed some refried beans that were in a plastic container out of the fridge and put them on top of the chips. After I’m completely done eating my mom looks in the fridge and asked me if I knew where the cat food was. I just ate a small can of cat food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 749

You deserved it 53 580

Absentmindedly

By Anonymous - 06/09/2022 19:00

Today, I saw some reddish-colored stuff on my finger after wiping my face. I thought it was blood at first, so I smelled it, then licked it, I don't know why the fuck I did that but anyways, I later realized I'd wiped off some of my eyeshadow and frickin ate it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 268

You deserved it 1 230

Con Artist Kitty

By Tray - 25/09/2017 20:13

Today, I had just finished making myself an ice cream cone when my cat puked all over the floor. I set my cone on the counter while I cleaned up, and when I finished, my cat was licking it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 875

You deserved it 633

By whatdidimarry - 24/09/2015 23:31 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, I caught my husband and the cat licking the butter together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 269

You deserved it 2 303

By princeronron - 08/09/2015 02:02 - Switzerland - Prilly

Today, I spilled the bowl of cat food I'd just filled. I picked it all up in front of my cat, but he refused to eat any of it. I had to put the food back into the packet and fill the bowl all over again. My cat is a prince. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 693

You deserved it 6 037

Smelly glasses for life

By Anonymous - 16/09/2022 06:30 - United States

Today, I used my towel on the counter to clean my glasses. Apparently, my foster cat had peed on it during the night. The wet towel hit my mouth. I started out my day with cat pee on my lips. FML

I agree, your life sucks 850

You deserved it 313

PenguinBitch 43

Wednesday 18 September 2013 19:15

Reminds me of that Spongebob episode where he tastes Gary's food.

GetGulley 12

Wednesday 18 September 2013 19:19

The most important meal of the day, serving it up Gary's way!

Comments

MaryPoppins88 14

Friday 20 September 2013 1:36

That's so funny I have cats and I'm surprised I haven't accidentally done this yet.

CrazyMelvin 14

Friday 20 September 2013 2:22

Just don't start licking yourself and you'll be Okay.

yadanax 14

Friday 20 September 2013 9:50

So how's cat food taste like? XD

BurnInDemonFire 34

Friday 20 September 2013 15:20

I didn't know Jane Fonda was on FML!

Doggiedogg 6

Friday 20 September 2013 16:27

how did it taste?

wylde_fml 5

Sunday 22 September 2013 7:40

You licked the spoon cause you are fat huh?

Juultje 8

Wednesday 25 September 2013 10:41

Well, cat food was originally made for humans...

mohamed_H 21

Saturday 5 October 2013 6:41

You stole me foodd !

ITxCExLxS 6

Friday 18 October 2013 17:02

Like everyone else has said, I immediately thought of Spongebob eating Gary's food

Alastor13X 8

Friday 14 March 2014 2:42

Well... How'd it taste!? No reason for he rest of us to taste it now! Out with it!

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I yelled at one of my employees for trying to discreetly slip out of a meeting, and demanded he sit up front so I could make sure he stayed for the whole time. Three minutes later, he shat his pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56

You deserved it 1 002

Today, I woke up feeling awful, having caught the same illness my boyfriend had last night. When he was sick, I skipped my friend's baby shower to take care of him. Now that I'm sick, he goes to a friend's place, says to call if I need him, then turns his phone off. Seriously. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 100

You deserved it 7 572

The Top

Today, my boyfriend compared my boobs to a flat tire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 419

You deserved it 7 164

Today, I found out that my husband thinks I'm fat when I caught him slipping diet pills into my morning smoothie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 336

You deserved it 7 133

Today, in the middle of sex my boyfriend asked if he could use the bathroom. It would've been fine, if he didn't fall asleep on the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 608

You deserved it 3 103

Today, everyone at the office was finally presented with the bonuses our boss had promised to pay us by the end of last year. Turns out he was never authorized to promise any such thing, so he ended up just giving us signed "thank you" letters instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 915

You deserved it 3 421

Today, I was sitting shotgun in the car. A huge bug came inside, and everyone began to freak out so naturally I began to swat at it. I got the fly, but I also cracked the windshield. I paid $229 to kill a bug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 565

You deserved it 23 514

Today, I had a terrible stomach ache and had some pretty bad gas at work. I tried to head down to the basement for a while to allow my coworkers to continue in peace. About an hour after I came back up, my boss called pest control due to the horrible smell that "must be dead rats". FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 684

You deserved it 1 317