Intimacy: Today, I was given a lapdance by a pregnant stripper. FML - FML

By Anonymous - 02/06/2012 15:16 - United States - Clermont

Spicy

Today, I was given a lapdance by a pregnant stripper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 988

You deserved it 42 023

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Same thing different taste

By sexyfreak2510 - 03/09/2009 06:47 - South Africa

Today, at my bachelorette party, I got so wasted, I ended up giving my stripper a lap dance because he "wasn't doing it properly". There's photos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 305

You deserved it 51 901

Get out of here

By Cpt Colin - 03/01/2012 07:17 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend hated the idea of sex so much she was willing to give me money for a stripper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 868

You deserved it 5 978

By Anonymous - 05/01/2013 00:56 - Netherlands - Groningen

Today, I found out I'm pregnant. My husband reacted by going out and smoking weed, then getting completely shitfaced, and having his buddies drag his nearly-comatose carcass back home from a strip club. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 474

You deserved it 5 192

By SCARRED - 29/08/2014 20:15 - United States - Kansas City

Spicy

Today, I walked in on my dad giving my mom a striptease. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 781

You deserved it 7 594

By Anonymous - 04/05/2014 23:28 - United States - Madison

Today, I was at the bar. A man started to hit on me. He claims to have a fetish for pregnant women. I'm not pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 774

You deserved it 6 017

Life goals

By ShayisPay101 - 15/02/2010 18:58 - United States

Spicy

Today, my daughter told me she wants to be a stripper when she grows up, just like "Daddy's girlfriend." We're still married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 557

You deserved it 3 889

By baron - 01/06/2009 17:36 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 131 677

You deserved it 7 573

By Big B - 04/02/2009 17:40 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was at the strip club. I put my dollar on the stage. When the stripper came over to take it, she stood me up and flipped my tits and said I had bigger ones than her. I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 054

You deserved it 45 545

Rookie mistake

By dreamisugly - 10/10/2022 11:00

Spicy

Today, I found out the girl I lost my virginity to during prom night is pregnant with my kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 424

You deserved it 2 237

By kte - 30/12/2009 10:36 - United States

Spicy

Today, I found out that my parents bought a stripper pole, my mom even hired a stripper to teach her some "moves." I'm scared to go in their room now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 304

You deserved it 2 648

Next

Top comments

cameronman9 2

Saturday 2 June 2012 19:42

Does this pregnant stripper happen to be your wife?

comedybreak 20

Saturday 2 June 2012 19:39

This is why safe sex is important Guys, learn. But seriously OP it's your fault for letting her

Comments

kelly352 0

Thursday 21 June 2012 5:40

That's gross.....

kaila332 0

Thursday 21 June 2012 8:09

Maybe u should go to a better club ._,

mapwny 4

Sunday 1 July 2012 4:06

Today, you BOUGHT a lapdance from a pregnant stripper.... woe always you!

Joui_fml 11

Saturday 7 July 2012 23:38

Someone has a preggy women fetish.

jrracer93 1

Tuesday 10 July 2012 7:33

Well she must be good

DakotaAkira 13

Wednesday 1 August 2012 13:53

Get it how you live

captainburke 5

Sunday 5 August 2012 19:05

Holy **** she isn't playing games

Nederlander95 14

Monday 21 October 2013 2:46

So gently push her off? I don't understand

NandaPanda 22

Wednesday 25 December 2013 13:52

Heyy, she's got to make money to support that baby somehow! Lolz

driinkbleach 18

Friday 16 May 2014 9:28

anyone else think it's really creepy that some guys like pregnant women? What turns you on about an unborn fetus? Cuz that's what you find sexy? Having a fetus growing inside the lady? If it's your child then I can understand that; you probably feel masculine our what not for impregnating your lady

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Keywords

Love My ex Awkward Jealousy Friends AITA Health Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Sports Proposal Snow Cold weather Annoying Cheating Money Relatable Work DIY Kids Parenting Accident Parents Medication ADHD Weather Miscellaneous Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird

The Top

Today, my girlfriend and I were making love. Her phone rang, and she stopped to answer it. It was her ex-boyfriend, calling her from jail. She talked to him for 15 minutes. To top it all off, before she hung up, I heard her tell him she loved him, and couldn't wait for him to get out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 822

You deserved it 4 306

Today, my longtime crush, who turned me down because he’s “sick of women”, just got into a relationship. He made it Facebook official, with photos of them and everything. Wanting to even the score, I commented, “So it seems your sickness of women is cured, huh?” He bitched at me for “ruining his moment” and deleted me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115

You deserved it 1 036

The Top

Today, I woke up late for work, and got sick at work twice; when I got home I discovered I'd paid my cable bill late when I got cut off. When my girlfriend came over, the first thing she said was "Do you know about the graffiti on your car?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 643

You deserved it 3 341

Today, I was told by my boss if I was late one more time he fired me. I replied, "Can I quit then if that's the case." He then said no, and gave me more shifts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 459

You deserved it 1 063

Today, whilst stacking the dish washer I dropped a steak knife. Luckily, I caught it just before it hit my foot. I fist-pumped to celebrate my amazing catch and stabbed myself in the cheek. My parents couldn't stop laughing all the way to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 710

You deserved it 36 527

Today, I woke up next to my wife at my in-laws. It was all set to be a beautiful morning when we got serves breakfast in bed, until my mother in-law started pointing at the big shit stain running from my ass and on to the sheets. Never trust a fart, especially when you're sleeping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 865

You deserved it 528

Today, I was mourning the recent loss of a close family member. My ex's idea of comforting me was to ask if he could come over so I could “give him some bomb ass head” to take my mind off things. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 434

You deserved it 511

Today, my friend's son asked me how much coke costs in this place. I told him, "About a dollar?" He said, "Wow, that's really cheap for blow." He's 10. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 484

You deserved it 3 057