Intimacy: Today, I was given a lapdance by a pregnant stripper. FML - FML

By Anonymous - 02/06/2012 15:16 - United States - Clermont

Spicy

Today, I was given a lapdance by a pregnant stripper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 988

You deserved it 42 023

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Same thing different taste

By sexyfreak2510 - 03/09/2009 06:47 - South Africa

Today, at my bachelorette party, I got so wasted, I ended up giving my stripper a lap dance because he "wasn't doing it properly". There's photos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 305

You deserved it 51 899

Get out of here

By Cpt Colin - 03/01/2012 07:17 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend hated the idea of sex so much she was willing to give me money for a stripper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 868

You deserved it 5 977

By Anonymous - 05/01/2013 00:56 - Netherlands - Groningen

Today, I found out I'm pregnant. My husband reacted by going out and smoking weed, then getting completely shitfaced, and having his buddies drag his nearly-comatose carcass back home from a strip club. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 473

You deserved it 5 192

By SCARRED - 29/08/2014 20:15 - United States - Kansas City

Spicy

Today, I walked in on my dad giving my mom a striptease. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 781

You deserved it 7 593

By Anonymous - 04/05/2014 23:28 - United States - Madison

Today, I was at the bar. A man started to hit on me. He claims to have a fetish for pregnant women. I'm not pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 774

You deserved it 6 017

Life goals

By ShayisPay101 - 15/02/2010 18:58 - United States

Spicy

Today, my daughter told me she wants to be a stripper when she grows up, just like "Daddy's girlfriend." We're still married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 557

You deserved it 3 889

By baron - 01/06/2009 17:36 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 131 676

You deserved it 7 573

By Big B - 04/02/2009 17:40 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was at the strip club. I put my dollar on the stage. When the stripper came over to take it, she stood me up and flipped my tits and said I had bigger ones than her. I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 054

You deserved it 45 543

Rookie mistake

By dreamisugly - 10/10/2022 11:00

Spicy

Today, I found out the girl I lost my virginity to during prom night is pregnant with my kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 424

You deserved it 2 237

By kte - 30/12/2009 10:36 - United States

Spicy

Today, I found out that my parents bought a stripper pole, my mom even hired a stripper to teach her some "moves." I'm scared to go in their room now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 304

You deserved it 2 648

Next

Top comments

cameronman9 2

Saturday 2 June 2012 19:42

Does this pregnant stripper happen to be your wife?

comedybreak 20

Saturday 2 June 2012 19:39

This is why safe sex is important Guys, learn. But seriously OP it's your fault for letting her

Comments

wildone123 6

Tuesday 5 June 2012 8:01

Hahahhaahahhaha

born_hustla 26

Tuesday 5 June 2012 17:11

Baby's gonna needs lots of diapers and similac!! Lol

HeartOfLead 24

Wednesday 6 June 2012 4:33

Hopefully she wasn't the one "making it rain"!

rjp1811 0

Wednesday 6 June 2012 10:42

omfg, Ive never recieved a lapdance from a prego stripper but I HAVE seen a one armed prego one before and I almost cut my OWN eyes out with my car keys lol I feel for u...

SwtCherryPie 26

Wednesday 6 June 2012 18:55

Its not like they force dances on you. You chose to have her give you a dance. YDI.

rivera323 5

Thursday 7 June 2012 23:55

So you got a two for one special?

runner2731 0

Friday 8 June 2012 3:55

Why is there a pregnant stripper giving lap dances

lottie333 0

Saturday 9 June 2012 0:44

thats what you get for going to strip clubs. unlucks...

rawdoglyfe69 7

Saturday 9 June 2012 22:54

Well you always get to choose the stripper...

Unendingfear 4

Wednesday 13 June 2012 0:39

How's this bad at all? :3

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Well. I must admit when I first received today's illustration, seeing the massive pliers pop out kind of freaked me out. Then I reached the last panel and I'm not sure if it's out of anxiety relief or what, but I laughed so hard I might have choked a...

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

Today, my grandmother has been complaining that I spend too much on food, so I started cooking food from scratch. I happily showed her my recipe book and encouraged her to try a few. She then mocked me for wasting time by not buying frozen food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 869

You deserved it 3 514

The Top

Today, I received a bunch of flowers from my 'lover'. This would be fine, except that I don't have a lover, and my boyfriend now thinks I'm cheating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 623

You deserved it 2 982

Today, I saw my boss heading my way at work. He has a "no food in the office" policy, so I quickly scarfed down my Pop-Tart. I ended up choking on it so hard that I threw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 758

You deserved it 19 740

Today, I was going on a dinner date with a girl I had just met. After I picked her up I asked her if she would like to get lobster. She looked at me and asked if those were the red ones. Confused I nodded. She replied, "Sorry, I don't eat red meat." I laughed. She was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 622

You deserved it 6 039

Today, my co-worker received a $1,000 bonus for a project that I do all the work on. My direct supervisor thought that I was an assistant. I send him an e-mail copy of the project every week, and have done so for the past six months. I was later reprimanded for not congratulating my co-worker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 035

You deserved it 115

Today, my grandpa decided to charcoal-grill some steaks. Inside the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 258

You deserved it 2 102

Today, I was struck down with horrible diarrhea. With barely any toilet paper left, I texted my husband to buy some more and rush home. He replied, "Sorry babe, getting shitfaced with the lads. Get it? 'Shitfaced'. LOL!" and stopped replying to my desperate pleas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 129

You deserved it 3 895