Work: Today, I was going over some paperwork with my back to my office...

By Mic - 07/01/2010 17:44 - United States

Today, I was going over some paperwork with my back to my office door. As I turn around, my boss enters and says my name loudly. I was startled so bad that I jumped, yelped, and a high-pitched fart snuck out. Everyone in the office now gives prior notice before dropping by the "fart guy's" office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 535

You deserved it 4 649

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

The sweet smell of success

By NoPromotionForYou - 07/05/2020 14:00

Today, I was alone at the office. Having held it in all day, I let out the longest, worst-smelling fart of my life. The owner of the company, investigating the odd noise, opened my office door. When the stench hit him, he walked backwards all the way to his office, staring at me, in silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 484

You deserved it 640

By stink - 01/07/2015 02:40 - Australia - Sydney

Today, after working alone in a room all day, I let a fart sneak out. Just then, my drop dead gorgeous boss and two new girls walked in. I could literally see them hit the stench and cringe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 455

You deserved it 4 994

By Anonymous - 11/12/2009 18:11 - United States

Today, I was in a meeting at work. In the middle of our CEO's speech, I farted. Everyone heard including my boss, who looked over and said, "Do you have anything else you wanted to add?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 981

You deserved it 25 512

It wasn't me

By sonotsuave - 04/03/2019 06:00 - United States - Arlington

Today, I was tutoring. When my kids were finally working on their own, I stood in my classroom’s doorway to talk to my boss sitting outside about upcoming work. Suddenly, one of my students sitting directly behind me let out the loudest fart ever. I think my boss heard and thought it was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 992

You deserved it 198

Sorry, I…

By Anonymous - 07/02/2015 14:33 - United States - Brownwood

Today, my boss was telling everyone his mother recently passed away and he'll be off work for a while. I'd been holding in painful gas for a while, so I tried to ease it out. It turned into a long, squeaky fart in front of everyone. Everyone glared at me as if I was trying to be funny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 837

You deserved it 6 956

Fartmageddon.

By dusty bean - 18/11/2017 05:00

Today, I held in an explosive fart during a co-worker's rant and waited a few seconds after he left the room to release the Kraken. Forgetting something, he returned mid-fart. Before either of us could say anything, our boss came into the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 717

You deserved it 606

By Anonymous - 20/09/2015 15:23

Today, I accidentally farted at a board meeting. My boss thought it came from the guy sitting next to me and gave him hell for being a pig. I was too mortified to say anything, even when the guy blamed it on me, which caused my boss to rage at him for lying and then to kick him out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 825

You deserved it 12 111

By Hth - 28/10/2008 00:13 - United States

Today, I farted A LOT during an exam, all silent, so I figured I should be OK. Then I looked around and everybody was suffocating and giving me sly looks. I'm now known to everyone in the department as SuperFart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 331

You deserved it 43 745

The unexpected

By RikkiTikkiTavi - 12/11/2019 05:00

Today, I was working at my desk and wearing my new noise cancelling headphones. I couldn’t hear anyone around me, so I let out a nice long fart. Every desk behind me was occupied and the fart was not silent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 765

You deserved it 3 633

Elephant

By frank - 26/03/2021 23:01

Today, I farted in my office, assuming nobody would come in until the smoke cleared. The new girl then came in to introduce herself. She had her hands on her nose the whole time, while we both awkwardly tried to ignore the stank elephant in the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 765

You deserved it 482

ssuseawolves2011 0

Thursday 7 January 2010 23:06

hahahahaha they nicknamed you the fart guy? are they still in third grade or something?

LemonStarship 5

Thursday 7 January 2010 23:53

Ha that made me giggle like a little baby lamb :)

Comments

intensitive 11

Thursday 7 January 2010 23:56

The nickname was probably assumed by the OP.. but people should learn some manners and not startle others with their backs turned.

chaos753159 4

Tuesday 26 January 2010 5:33

iamwaldosojustfukoff

murphy22 6

Thursday 7 January 2010 23:58

i've done that, i got the nickname "bubbles" cause someone scared me while swimming lmao

beehardxcore 26

Thursday 7 January 2010 23:58

This was hilarious. I hope it didn't embarrass you much, because it turned my shitty day into an okay day. :] Thank you.

juicypear 0

Friday 8 January 2010 0:10

LOL This is hysterical!!!!

sucks2_beyou 0

Friday 8 January 2010 0:15

hmm im wondering wat a high pitch fart sounds like!! lol

Sappheyes 0

Friday 8 January 2010 18:34

Squeaker!

HeXr 22

Tuesday 29 November 2011 10:42

Like a little mini squeaky trumpet

Saar_001 0

Friday 8 January 2010 0:17

This made my day =D

Ninjaface 0

Friday 8 January 2010 0:20

The good news is people won't sneak up on you anymore.

CYNNER 0

Friday 8 January 2010 1:36

cover your ass before passing gas. nobody likes a stinky hole. ha ha.

spitfire835 0

Friday 8 January 2010 2:23

Poor fart guy...

kmgentil 0

Friday 8 January 2010 3:42

at least you can let out your secret to millions of people on this site

Keywords

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The Top

Today, it's day one of my suspension and probably being fired from my job. Why? I accidentally took a beer out my bag instead of a soda, then got distracted working to make sure everything got done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 97

You deserved it 511

Today, I told my boyfriend of nearly a year that I finally told my mother about him, and that she wants us to fly out so he can meet her. He said “OK” with a blank expression. I went to work, and when I got home, he and all his stuff were gone. He left a note on the fridge, saying, “Sorry, I can’t do this anymore. All the best.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 589

You deserved it 131

The Top

Today, as a teacher, I was grading some essays when I yet again came across the word "unalive" when discussing the assassinations of JFK and Abraham Lincoln. As in, "JFK was unalived." I know language inevitably mutates over time, but us teachers don't have demonetization filters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 461

You deserved it 78

Today, I was at a swim meet, swimming as hard as I'd ever swum before. During the last lap I saw no one in the lanes next to me. Thinking I was first, I became extremely excited. When I came to the wall, I realized the reason no one else was around: They already finished the race. I was last. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 316

You deserved it 7 722

Today, I heard a woman moaning while I was walking on a sidewalk. I didn't mind, until someone dropped a recently-used condom on my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 522

You deserved it 142

Today, a stray dog came up to my living room window. My pitbull went into attack mode and tried to jump through said window, while it was closed. Now I have to pay to replace the window, and pay to get stitches for my idiot dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 431

You deserved it 7 617

Today, I met one of my favorite fitness models. She told me I need to get in shape. I weigh 150lbs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 445

You deserved it 448

Today, I handed in my resignation letter after over three and a half years working at the company. My manager is angry with me, since we returned from an overseas business trip yesterday, and why didn't I inform her before the trip. She now wants me to pay all costs of trip before leaving the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 030

You deserved it 1 223