Intimacy: Today, I was just taking a wank with my laptop on low battery.... - FML

By Noname - 07/01/2009 15:07 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I was just taking a wank with my laptop on low battery. Almost finished when my laptop died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 480

You deserved it 56 515

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By masterfail - 04/10/2009 05:04 - United States

Spicy

Today, I woke up after a heavy night of drinking, with my laptop dead on my chest. Apparently, I had attempted a bit of digital penile oscillation, but passed out instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 488

You deserved it 19 820

By Moody - 28/10/2009 19:14 - United States

Spicy

Today, I opened my personal laptop at a company meeting. I forgot that the battery died while watching a porno last night. It was ten seconds of slurping, spitting and gagging. It was my first day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 407

You deserved it 38 347

Oh, the humanity

By Anonymous - 23/03/2023 18:00

Today, I was giving a presentation at work but accidentally spilled water all over my laptop. I tried to dry it off, but it wouldn't turn on. I had to give the presentation awkwardly using my phone and everyone took the piss out of me and my shoddy performance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 616

You deserved it 252

By KDM - 05/02/2012 19:39 - Australia

Today, I realised how socially inept I am, when I muttered an apology to my laptop after I noticed I hadn't plugged its charger in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 967

You deserved it 6 612

Likely story

By thenerd - 24/03/2021 02:00

Today, I was doing an online live exam with the camera on when the power suddenly went out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 006

You deserved it 70

Bad timing

By Anonymous - 20/04/2022 18:01 - Australia

Spicy

Today, I was pantsless, horny, and my vibrator died, so I put it on charge next to my bed. My mum then came in, crying hysterically about how she got fired. I was still naked. I felt so bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 146

You deserved it 285

By "Anti_Sora" - 05/01/2019 00:00

Today, I turned in my final worth 20% of the grade. Today was also the day my internet decided to die. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 208

You deserved it 307

Tesla was robbed

By Fuck you, Tesla. - 21/09/2021 14:00

Today, my car ran out of battery. I'm writing this from the middle of the road. FML

I agree, your life sucks 558

You deserved it 635

Slapstick

By aireun - 09/07/2009 05:33 - United States

Today, my laptop plug got stuck in the wall outlet. I stood there for 10 minutes violently trying to yank it out. My boss came in and screamed at me for making noise. I was angry, so I glared at him and yanked on the plug as hard as I could. It dislodged itself noiselessly and I fell over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 279

You deserved it 42 136

By Anonymous - 03/02/2016 15:29 - Australia - Hove

Today, my mum had no legitimate reason to have her daily yell at me, so she resorted to bitching me out for putting her phone on charge after it started beeping with a low battery warning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 275

You deserved it 1 478

Next

Top comments

WhatThePhuc 0

Sunday 8 February 2009 8:03

just use ur imagination

katers4life 0

Sunday 17 May 2009 20:10

uhmm plug it in? or think of me ;D

Comments

WhatThePhuc 0

Sunday 8 February 2009 8:03

just use ur imagination

tormcn 26

Thursday 2 April 2015 20:15

Or a hooker.. since I'm guessing he can't get a gf.

brumbo 0

Wednesday 18 February 2009 23:00

Seriously if that is the worst way in which your life is ****** today, **** you.

Dillon13 0

Thursday 30 July 2009 7:43

"Seriously if that is the worst way in which your life is ****** today, **** you." You know, not extraordinarily horrible things happen to people every day. This just so happened to be theirs, and I would have been pissed if I was in his position too. So **** YOU!

peasonearth 8

Tuesday 12 July 2011 9:36

I think his point was that way worse things happen to people other then the guy not being able to get a girlfriend

3milyzabc 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 23:43

#8

firstnlast77 0

Friday 13 March 2009 3:43

that's why you have an inmagination dude

qwedfgcvb 1

Friday 13 March 2009 15:50

thats Y god gave us a some called a charger

WhyAmUHere 19

Sunday 14 October 2012 16:29

It's funny because God doesn't exist.

JustinMrBest91 10

Thursday 2 January 2014 0:42

#99 everyone has there own religious views

kaylabunny1999 22

Monday 20 July 2015 2:21

He also gave us a dictionary and english class

pinkfrenchrose 5

Sunday 15 March 2009 3:57

LOL @ #8.

Cowgirl1992 0

Monday 16 March 2009 9:33

thats just sad, im sorry..

phiniusmaster 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 2:57

Um..... *cough* IMAGINATION *cough*

cheyAnn 0

Monday 16 May 2011 23:57

you are hot

crazyme123 0

Wednesday 18 March 2009 8:34

no past experiences to wank off to instead? all i can say is WOW -_- LOLZOR @ 9

Cold_Pizza_Eater 0

Thursday 15 July 2010 7:59

Sometimes I _Only_ use my imagination...

Victoria2103 0

Thursday 19 March 2009 23:21

Plug your computer in next time. ;P

1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8

Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing Sleep Work Dating Love Annoying Am I overreacting? Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Relatable Medication Teenagers Dogs Animals Video games Gamers Ironic Zoom

The Top

Today, at a job interview, my interviewer bent forward and I admired his ass. When he turned, I couldn't tell if he caught me or not. At the end of the interview he shook my hand in congratulations of getting the job, then said, "Yes, I do work out." I have to see him every day now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 531

You deserved it 32 698

Today, I had to quickly back out of a Skype call between me and three coworkers because my fiancée came home from work in tears. When things had calmed down, I re-entered the call to find them unaware I had returned, saying how glad they were I had left because they all secretly despise me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 875

You deserved it 2 095

The Top

Today, I asked a girl I like to the movies. Wanting her to lean on me and stay in my arms during the movie, I chose a horror film. I screamed like a pussy the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 608

You deserved it 44 556

Today, we received a wedding invitation from a couple who are renting an apartment from us. They haven't paid rent for several months. My father is listed as the "principal sponsor." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 186

You deserved it 2 376

Today, my phone rang while I was home alone. When I picked up, all I could hear was heavy breathing. Convinced it was one of my friends playing a joke, I said loudly, "Get off the phone, you fucker, and don't call back!" It turned out it was my grandma. She had been having a stroke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 616

You deserved it 92 131

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and he finished before me. I thought that he was going to try and get hard again so we could continue. Unfortunately, he turned to me and said to me, "Don't worry, I'll re-spawn in a few minutes." I lost it completely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 996

You deserved it 515

Today, our company not only installed standing desks, they have literally just spent a week replacing all our toilets, they are bizarre as hell with a seat that angles downwards. I looked them up online, they’re designed to cause pain in your legs to stop you sitting there too long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 360

You deserved it 128

Today, after seeing an old viral video on YouTube, my boyfriend started calling me Sharkeisha. Our friends thought he was implying that I'm violent with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 715

You deserved it 116