Intimacy: Today, I was just taking a wank with my laptop on low battery.... - FML

By Noname - 07/01/2009 15:07 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I was just taking a wank with my laptop on low battery. Almost finished when my laptop died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 480

You deserved it 56 515

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Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By masterfail - 04/10/2009 05:04 - United States

Spicy

Today, I woke up after a heavy night of drinking, with my laptop dead on my chest. Apparently, I had attempted a bit of digital penile oscillation, but passed out instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 487

You deserved it 19 820

By Moody - 28/10/2009 19:14 - United States

Spicy

Today, I opened my personal laptop at a company meeting. I forgot that the battery died while watching a porno last night. It was ten seconds of slurping, spitting and gagging. It was my first day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 407

You deserved it 38 345

Oh, the humanity

By Anonymous - 23/03/2023 18:00

Today, I was giving a presentation at work but accidentally spilled water all over my laptop. I tried to dry it off, but it wouldn't turn on. I had to give the presentation awkwardly using my phone and everyone took the piss out of me and my shoddy performance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 615

You deserved it 252

By KDM - 05/02/2012 19:39 - Australia

Today, I realised how socially inept I am, when I muttered an apology to my laptop after I noticed I hadn't plugged its charger in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 966

You deserved it 6 611

Likely story

By thenerd - 24/03/2021 02:00

Today, I was doing an online live exam with the camera on when the power suddenly went out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 005

You deserved it 70

Bad timing

By Anonymous - 20/04/2022 18:01 - Australia

Spicy

Today, I was pantsless, horny, and my vibrator died, so I put it on charge next to my bed. My mum then came in, crying hysterically about how she got fired. I was still naked. I felt so bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 144

You deserved it 284

By "Anti_Sora" - 05/01/2019 00:00

Today, I turned in my final worth 20% of the grade. Today was also the day my internet decided to die. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 208

You deserved it 307

Tesla was robbed

By Fuck you, Tesla. - 21/09/2021 14:00

Today, my car ran out of battery. I'm writing this from the middle of the road. FML

I agree, your life sucks 556

You deserved it 635

Slapstick

By aireun - 09/07/2009 05:33 - United States

Today, my laptop plug got stuck in the wall outlet. I stood there for 10 minutes violently trying to yank it out. My boss came in and screamed at me for making noise. I was angry, so I glared at him and yanked on the plug as hard as I could. It dislodged itself noiselessly and I fell over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 279

You deserved it 42 133

By Anonymous - 03/02/2016 15:29 - Australia - Hove

Today, my mum had no legitimate reason to have her daily yell at me, so she resorted to bitching me out for putting her phone on charge after it started beeping with a low battery warning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 274

You deserved it 1 477

Next

Top comments

WhatThePhuc 0

Sunday 8 February 2009 8:03

just use ur imagination

katers4life 0

Sunday 17 May 2009 20:10

uhmm plug it in? or think of me ;D

Comments

WhatThePhuc 0

Sunday 8 February 2009 8:03

just use ur imagination

tormcn 26

Thursday 2 April 2015 20:15

Or a hooker.. since I'm guessing he can't get a gf.

brumbo 0

Wednesday 18 February 2009 23:00

Seriously if that is the worst way in which your life is ****** today, **** you.

Dillon13 0

Thursday 30 July 2009 7:43

"Seriously if that is the worst way in which your life is ****** today, **** you." You know, not extraordinarily horrible things happen to people every day. This just so happened to be theirs, and I would have been pissed if I was in his position too. So **** YOU!

peasonearth 8

Tuesday 12 July 2011 9:36

I think his point was that way worse things happen to people other then the guy not being able to get a girlfriend

3milyzabc 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 23:43

#8

firstnlast77 0

Friday 13 March 2009 3:43

that's why you have an inmagination dude

qwedfgcvb 1

Friday 13 March 2009 15:50

thats Y god gave us a some called a charger

WhyAmUHere 19

Sunday 14 October 2012 16:29

It's funny because God doesn't exist.

JustinMrBest91 10

Thursday 2 January 2014 0:42

#99 everyone has there own religious views

kaylabunny1999 22

Monday 20 July 2015 2:21

He also gave us a dictionary and english class

pinkfrenchrose 5

Sunday 15 March 2009 3:57

LOL @ #8.

Cowgirl1992 0

Monday 16 March 2009 9:33

thats just sad, im sorry..

phiniusmaster 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 2:57

Um..... *cough* IMAGINATION *cough*

cheyAnn 0

Monday 16 May 2011 23:57

you are hot

crazyme123 0

Wednesday 18 March 2009 8:34

no past experiences to wank off to instead? all i can say is WOW -_- LOLZOR @ 9

Cold_Pizza_Eater 0

Thursday 15 July 2010 7:59

Sometimes I _Only_ use my imagination...

Victoria2103 0

Thursday 19 March 2009 23:21

Plug your computer in next time. ;P

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Neighbours Awkward Wanker Lonely Halloween Love Party Jealousy Family Argument Fight Animals Cats Parents Health Embarrassing Sports Shopping Medication Birds Anger issues Weddings Pranks TikTok YouTube Dogs Cute Work AITA

The Top

Today, I finally had the best sex I've ever had with this really hot guy I've been hanging out with lately. I thought everything was all well and good until he turned to me and said, "You know, your orgasm face kinda reminds me of Steve Martin, but in a good way." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 272

You deserved it 8 539

Today, I tried to surprise my husband because our sex life is lacking. We have planned sex Tuesday night, every week, with the lights off. When he came home for lunch, I was naked and waiting for him. He took one look and said, "I forgot you looked like that. Meh, I'm going back to work." FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 133

You deserved it 8 547

The Top

Today, I woke up to a video call from my entitled father, who was fuming and yelling at me for buying a PS5. With MY money. I don't even live with him anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 007

You deserved it 98

Today, while driving, I made a fake phone call with my fake boyfriend, making him sound amazing to my friends who were in the car with me. Until the red and blue flashing lights pulled up behind us. My fake boyfriend cost me $160 in real fines. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 970

You deserved it 66 591

Today, I had to move back in with my dad and brother. After getting settled, I had to shower. I got everything ready and when I got in, it smelled strongly of pee. The stink was so intense I could barely breathe. Cleaning doesn't even help. I'm stuck here for at least a month. I hate living with men. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 971

You deserved it 4 991

Today, my girlfriend dumped me for another guy. I used to be her college professor and I’d given up my career of 22 years, my wife and kids, and my house in Boca Raton just for her. Nice to know this is the thanks I get. FML

I agree, your life sucks 118

You deserved it 3 176

Today, I was taking phone calls. In my dreams. That's just how horrible my job is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 930

You deserved it 93

Today, being a broke college student struggling to make ends meet, I decided to sign up for a sugar daddy website. The first person to message me was my high school history teacher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 630

You deserved it 1 300