Intimacy: Today, I was just taking a wank with my laptop on low battery....

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By Noname - 07/01/2009 15:07 - United Kingdom

Today, I was just taking a wank with my laptop on low battery. Almost finished when my laptop died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 485

You deserved it 56 528

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Same thing different taste

By masterfail - 04/10/2009 05:04 - United States

Today, I woke up after a heavy night of drinking, with my laptop dead on my chest. Apparently, I had attempted a bit of digital penile oscillation, but passed out instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 490

You deserved it 19 834

By Moody - 28/10/2009 19:14 - United States

Today, I opened my personal laptop at a company meeting. I forgot that the battery died while watching a porno last night. It was ten seconds of slurping, spitting and gagging. It was my first day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 408

You deserved it 38 360

Oh, the humanity

By Anonymous - 23/03/2023 18:00

Today, I was giving a presentation at work but accidentally spilled water all over my laptop. I tried to dry it off, but it wouldn't turn on. I had to give the presentation awkwardly using my phone and everyone took the piss out of me and my shoddy performance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 620

You deserved it 256

By KDM - 05/02/2012 19:39 - Australia

Today, I realised how socially inept I am, when I muttered an apology to my laptop after I noticed I hadn't plugged its charger in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 970

You deserved it 6 615

Likely story

By thenerd - 24/03/2021 02:00

Today, I was doing an online live exam with the camera on when the power suddenly went out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 014

You deserved it 71

Bad timing

By Anonymous - 20/04/2022 18:01 - Australia

Today, I was pantsless, horny, and my vibrator died, so I put it on charge next to my bed. My mum then came in, crying hysterically about how she got fired. I was still naked. I felt so bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 174

You deserved it 293

By "Anti_Sora" - 05/01/2019 00:00

Today, I turned in my final worth 20% of the grade. Today was also the day my internet decided to die. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 214

You deserved it 307

Tesla was robbed

By Fuck you, Tesla. - 21/09/2021 14:00

Today, my car ran out of battery. I'm writing this from the middle of the road. FML

I agree, your life sucks 561

You deserved it 641

Slapstick

By aireun - 09/07/2009 05:33 - United States

Today, my laptop plug got stuck in the wall outlet. I stood there for 10 minutes violently trying to yank it out. My boss came in and screamed at me for making noise. I was angry, so I glared at him and yanked on the plug as hard as I could. It dislodged itself noiselessly and I fell over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 281

You deserved it 42 145

By Anonymous - 03/02/2016 15:29 - Australia - Hove

Today, my mum had no legitimate reason to have her daily yell at me, so she resorted to bitching me out for putting her phone on charge after it started beeping with a low battery warning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 285

You deserved it 1 480

WhatThePhuc 0

Sunday 8 February 2009 8:03

just use ur imagination

katers4life 0

Sunday 17 May 2009 20:10

uhmm plug it in? or think of me ;D

Comments

X_o_X_ocutie 0

Friday 25 March 2011 4:03

WIN!!!

X_o_X_ocutie 0

Friday 25 March 2011 4:05

this isn't FML worthy.

Jdoucet_fml 0

Wednesday 20 April 2011 18:20

I love how everyone is like, use your imagination, get a charger blah blah. Man get a ******* girlfriend!

Majinveggie10 0

Sunday 8 May 2011 9:15

wank?

zimandme123 0

Tuesday 24 May 2011 13:10

haha yea that's what it sounds like.....:)

nabs_fml 5

Friday 10 June 2011 3:52

Ohh hate it!!

saturnynian 0

Tuesday 5 July 2011 16:44

why don't you either a) use your imagination or b) get off your **** addicted ass and find somebody to do it for you

Natty23 0

Monday 8 August 2011 1:50

that's why god made sexy chicks! to ********** for us! ;D

Fmeonce_shameonu 15

Friday 2 September 2011 2:47

People are so desensitized and spoiled with the internet now days. Use your imagination it's great!

Kiirst_mt1994 26

Tuesday 18 October 2011 18:57

hilarious!

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The Top

Today, I sat next to my crush in class in a very loose, low-hanging shirt in the front (my mother had made me wear it, I didn't want to), and I felt so giddy because he kept staring at me in shock. No, not because I'm so beautiful, but because my boobs were hanging out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 174

You deserved it 372

Today, while waiting in line at a store, a toddler behind me was throwing a major meltdown while his father yelled at him, giving me a migraine. I turned to the woman behind me and said, "Can you believe this kid? I feel sorry for his mother." Turns out the woman was his mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 114

You deserved it 46 676

The Top

Today, now that my daughter is going through a phase where she can't sleep alone, I let her sleep in the room with me under the condition that she let me sleep. Message received. She took care not to wake me while placing about 30 stickers in my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 349

You deserved it 819

Today, I told my family that I wanted to change my last name to my future wife's. We want to have the same last name, and we chose hers because she is an only child, while I have three brothers. Half of my family is laughing and calling me "pussy whipped" while the other half won't speak to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 350

You deserved it 16 599

Today, I sneezed without knowing I had a nosebleed. Despite turning my head, a fine blood spray shot out all over my fiancée’s white dress as we were standing at the altar. She refused to say “I do” because she was so mad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 094

You deserved it 570

Today, one of the guys I work with ran his finger down the back of my shirt and said, "Just checking to see if you're wearing a bra today". FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 296

You deserved it 3 191

Today, I waved at a cute guy when I was leaving Wendy's. I then ran into a curb, spilled my Frosty, and hit my head on the steering wheel. I turned around and both the cute guy and his dad were in hysterics. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 253

You deserved it 43 956

Today, I just wanted to let Spectrum Internet know that there's a wire down a block north of me, but all they wanted to do was schedule a fucking appointment for ME! Why are there so many fucking idiots in this goddamn world? FML

I agree, your life sucks 405

You deserved it 99