Intimacy: Today, I was late to dinner with my anal-retentive parents because...

By tacolove69 - 16/02/2010 19:20 - United States

Today, I was late to dinner with my anal-retentive parents because my boyfriend was too busy making cock puppets in the shower to get ready to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 799

You deserved it 3 383

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

Awkward

By notmyfam - 09/09/2016 07:47 - Australia - Chester Hill

Today, my boyfriend stood me up. At dinner with his parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 591

You deserved it 1 042

Oh, hello

By kikuhime - 17/01/2021 02:01

Today, I came early from my job, just to find my boyfriend in bed, with my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 138

You deserved it 114

By thanksmom - 09/01/2013 19:57 - United States - Tucson

Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my parents. As he was loading his truck, I went inside to take a surreptitious shit. I ended up clogging the toilet, and so the first thing my mom said to my boyfriend was, "You'll have to find another bathroom; she just clogged it all up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 646

You deserved it 7 791

By ohgodwhy - 10/05/2019 12:00

Today, me, my boyfriend and his family stayed at an AirBnB while on a trip. While I was doing my makeup, my boyfriend told me he was going to take a shower. A few minutes later, I went in the bathroom to shave my legs thinking my boyfriend was in there, but his dad was in the shower, scrubbing his ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 639

You deserved it 612

Not now!

By XxDiabolikalXx - 24/08/2010 07:30 - France

Today, while having dinner, my boyfriend decided to tell everyone about our sex life. It wouldn't have been too bad except my father was sitting right next to me. My boyfriend's excuse was that he wanted to make my dad laugh. He didn't laugh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 808

You deserved it 4 327

By FML - 02/10/2015 21:45 - United States - Oak Lawn

Today, I took my boyfriend to dinner to meet my parents. He agreed to be on his best behavior, but when my mom told us about some shady stuff going on at her job, he replied that it sounded "fishier than Justin Bieber's cunt." We were quickly kicked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 535

You deserved it 4 247

What ARE you doing?

By jentea - 05/09/2010 02:22 - Canada

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house waiting for him to get out of the shower. Bored, I sent my friend a picture of myself pretending to make out with his bear rug. After the photo shoot, I looked in the doorway to find his dad staring at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 359

You deserved it 34 946

By notsohot - 25/08/2019 00:01

Today, I showed up at my boyfriend's house with nothing under my coat but some sexy lingerie. He told me he was working on an assignment, and made me wait three hours before he'd have sex with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 329

You deserved it 2 300

Why would you do that?

By Sam - 23/11/2009 01:35 - United States

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house. We were starting to get intimate, and I thought it would be kinky to tie his hands to his bed so he'd be more turned on. Suddenly his mom called us for dinner, but I couldn't untie him fast enough. I had to sit there, embarrassed, while his mom undid the rope. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 112

You deserved it 29 795

By HK - 16/05/2012 22:38 - United Kingdom - Haywards Heath

Today, my boyfriend got mad at me because I refused to keep him company while he took a shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 014

You deserved it 3 824

PensiveCub 0

Tuesday 16 February 2010 23:17

ummmm what the **** are coxj puppets? and in the shower? I'm lost.

PsychoMerk 0

Tuesday 16 February 2010 23:20

haha, anal and **** in the same sentence... might as well write a steamy story ;)

Comments

XR6Falcon 0

Tuesday 16 February 2010 23:34

lmao at people who do not know what a **** puppet is!

spikey818 9

Tuesday 16 February 2010 23:39

it's when u make shapes with your twinkie

HoesInaBox 0

Wednesday 17 February 2010 0:41

@19: I bet you would make interesting **** puppets with that head! hehe.. This shall be my word of the day.

pwned613 0

Tuesday 16 February 2010 23:48

lol that's funny! I never done that before.

kyliebeatriz08 0

Tuesday 16 February 2010 23:49

wow either he is dome or dome

Allison_H 0

Saturday 10 July 2010 17:16

Or maybe he is planetarium.

Person000 0

Monday 3 January 2011 10:10

lOOOOOOOOLLLl AHAHAHAHAHAH

DeadPixel4 29

Thursday 17 April 2014 13:45

He could even be observatory.

cakezorz 0

Tuesday 16 February 2010 23:52

WTF!? snickerdoodles made an grammatical error?

bitethebullet 0

Tuesday 16 February 2010 23:53

so THATS that guy who puts on public puppet shows at the park.. ohhhh. i get it. :D

icifresh911 0

Wednesday 17 February 2010 4:31

Love your pic the_sodomizer... ; )

Goatsonaboat 0

Tuesday 16 February 2010 23:53

WTF is a **** puppet?

ferdte 0

Wednesday 17 February 2010 4:22

why don't you read the other comments before asking the same question everyone else asked...

iamchuck 0

Tuesday 16 February 2010 23:55

FYboyfriend'sL for having a girlfriend that bitches about him making **** puppets instead of helping him make **** puppets.

KurouTenshi 0

Tuesday 16 February 2010 23:58

what are these "**** puppets" you speak of?and where are they sold? you have me intrigued. may I requsest a "How to?" :D

HoesInaBox 0

Wednesday 17 February 2010 0:07

LOL so did you! o:

Keywords

Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Sleep Work Love Dating Annoying Am I overreacting? Health Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Relatable Medication Dogs Animals Teenagers Ironic Video games Gamers Zoom

The Top

Today, while at the restaurant I work at, a bunch of kids came in. They all gave incredibly complex orders, laughed at everything I did, and made a huge mess by "spilling" hot sauce and water all over the floor. After they left, I was tipped eleven cents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 306

You deserved it 3 563

Today, I finally got my paycheck from working at my minimum wage job for the last three months. I was delighted when I saw it was worth $846. On my way to cash it, I destroyed my car's suspension. It's going to cost almost $800 to fix. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 981

You deserved it 6 718

The Top

Today, I took the train to visit my parents, which arrives late at night. As I was getting off, the cute guy in front of me looked out the window, then turned to me and said, "Doesn't that guy out there give you the creeps?" That guy was my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 397

You deserved it 2 612

Today, my husband decided it was time to tell me he had a 3 year old son. We have been married for 5 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 429

You deserved it 3 127

Today, my cousin decided it would be fun to get drunk before my wedding. During the ceremony, he got up on the stage and tried to do a stage dive into the crowd. He landed on my nephew and broke his arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 771

You deserved it 3 736

Today, I found out from a cousin why my older aunts treated me so differently when we were growing up. Apparently, my mom told them that when I was 14, I wanted to use tampons instead of pads. According to their backward, archaic logic that meant I was sexually active. No wonder they hated me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 401

You deserved it 104

Today, I was driving along when I noticed a kid struggling to push his car up the crest of a hill. I jumped out to help him, and he acted surprised to see me. Once we got the car over the hill, it rolled on down. I then saw that no one was actually in the driver's seat. I'd helped a vandal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 420

You deserved it 8 484

Today, while performing a therapeutic massage, I dropped my clients head, shuddered, and jumped away. Why? I watch too much Walking Dead and when I lifted her head to stretch her neck, her soft breathing sounded like a zombie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 372

You deserved it 3 129