Intimacy: Today, I was late to dinner with my anal-retentive parents because...

By tacolove69 - 16/02/2010 19:20 - United States

Today, I was late to dinner with my anal-retentive parents because my boyfriend was too busy making cock puppets in the shower to get ready to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 799

You deserved it 3 383

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

Awkward

By notmyfam - 09/09/2016 07:47 - Australia - Chester Hill

Today, my boyfriend stood me up. At dinner with his parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 591

You deserved it 1 042

Oh, hello

By kikuhime - 17/01/2021 02:01

Today, I came early from my job, just to find my boyfriend in bed, with my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 138

You deserved it 114

By thanksmom - 09/01/2013 19:57 - United States - Tucson

Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my parents. As he was loading his truck, I went inside to take a surreptitious shit. I ended up clogging the toilet, and so the first thing my mom said to my boyfriend was, "You'll have to find another bathroom; she just clogged it all up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 646

You deserved it 7 791

By ohgodwhy - 10/05/2019 12:00

Today, me, my boyfriend and his family stayed at an AirBnB while on a trip. While I was doing my makeup, my boyfriend told me he was going to take a shower. A few minutes later, I went in the bathroom to shave my legs thinking my boyfriend was in there, but his dad was in the shower, scrubbing his ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 639

You deserved it 612

Not now!

By XxDiabolikalXx - 24/08/2010 07:30 - France

Today, while having dinner, my boyfriend decided to tell everyone about our sex life. It wouldn't have been too bad except my father was sitting right next to me. My boyfriend's excuse was that he wanted to make my dad laugh. He didn't laugh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 808

You deserved it 4 327

By FML - 02/10/2015 21:45 - United States - Oak Lawn

Today, I took my boyfriend to dinner to meet my parents. He agreed to be on his best behavior, but when my mom told us about some shady stuff going on at her job, he replied that it sounded "fishier than Justin Bieber's cunt." We were quickly kicked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 535

You deserved it 4 247

What ARE you doing?

By jentea - 05/09/2010 02:22 - Canada

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house waiting for him to get out of the shower. Bored, I sent my friend a picture of myself pretending to make out with his bear rug. After the photo shoot, I looked in the doorway to find his dad staring at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 359

You deserved it 34 946

By notsohot - 25/08/2019 00:01

Today, I showed up at my boyfriend's house with nothing under my coat but some sexy lingerie. He told me he was working on an assignment, and made me wait three hours before he'd have sex with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 329

You deserved it 2 300

Why would you do that?

By Sam - 23/11/2009 01:35 - United States

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house. We were starting to get intimate, and I thought it would be kinky to tie his hands to his bed so he'd be more turned on. Suddenly his mom called us for dinner, but I couldn't untie him fast enough. I had to sit there, embarrassed, while his mom undid the rope. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 112

You deserved it 29 795

By HK - 16/05/2012 22:38 - United Kingdom - Haywards Heath

Today, my boyfriend got mad at me because I refused to keep him company while he took a shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 014

You deserved it 3 824

PensiveCub 0

Tuesday 16 February 2010 23:17

ummmm what the **** are coxj puppets? and in the shower? I'm lost.

PsychoMerk 0

Tuesday 16 February 2010 23:20

haha, anal and **** in the same sentence... might as well write a steamy story ;)

Comments

tthatguy 0

Wednesday 17 February 2010 4:35

I'm not sure but I think it's "your" not "you're" haha :P

amarkley 0

Wednesday 17 February 2010 4:41

a sock puppet is when u put a sock with a face on it over ur c**k while ur hard and u make it go up and down while talking so it seems as if it was talking

IDOLGIRL 0

Wednesday 17 February 2010 4:49

you are = you're...as in 'you're playing on FML' your is for possession...as in 'your dog is ugly' easy to know which is correct by reading the sentence fully, and checking if the word 'are' is appropriate in that sentence. grammar 101 class dismissed

saranwrap69 0

Wednesday 17 February 2010 5:24

totally hilarious xP quit yer bitchn :P it hadta be funny to watch

kylepwn1 0

Wednesday 17 February 2010 5:53

puppet...s? he had multiple cocks? a friend over maybe?

zinc890 0

Wednesday 17 February 2010 6:41

I... what???

Andrew1122 0

Wednesday 17 February 2010 6:59

this is weird

Classifieds 0

Wednesday 17 February 2010 7:14

Have none if you seen "Puppetry of the Penis"? It can be quite amusing. Although it was just on tv one day, I don't usually watch that kind of thing.

DGross 8

Wednesday 17 February 2010 7:45

Reading Snickerdoodles' error brought a feeling of grief to my soul... ( oh no... did I misuse the apostrophe?) Then I made a **** puppet and the feeling went away...