Intimacy: Today, I was making love to my boyfriend on the back bumper of... - FML

By Krissy - 25/01/2010 08:36 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend on the back bumper of my car. After he finished he told me he felt like he was riding a seahorse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 555

You deserved it 4 643

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Same thing different taste

Not now, Kevin

By Noname - 16/01/2009 17:31 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend struck up a conversation about the reproductive systems of seahorses. We were getting intimate at the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 324

You deserved it 2 673

By orgasmicriding - 22/12/2012 22:55 - United States - Wyandotte

Spicy

Today, because my boyfriend drives a 2-seated sports car, I had to awkwardly sit on his brother's lap as we drove to the store. I soon felt a poking sensation through his pants, just a few minutes before we hit a bumpy road. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 252

You deserved it 7 004

By shopper242 - 22/11/2010 12:29 - France

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend compared my orgasm to that of a beached sea turtle. He demonstrated what he meant in front of all our friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 921

You deserved it 4 098

By hahanosirr - 21/05/2011 20:02 - United States

Spicy

Today, after three unsuccessful months of trying to make me orgasm, my boyfriend finally succeeded. It came from his car bumping up and down while we drove down a pot-holed road. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 093

You deserved it 6 121

By WellOops - 18/07/2018 05:00

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend crashed his car while I was giving him road head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 669

You deserved it 9 670

Cramped

By chelse_elyce - 21/01/2015 04:10 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend in his car. We were in the front seat and I was on top. My ass hit the horn and scared my boyfriend so bad, he jumped, causing me to hit my head so hard that I swear I got a concussion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 836

You deserved it 13 367

Honky

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States

Spicy

Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I let out a moan that can only really be described as sounding like a clown car horn. He ended up laughing so hard that he couldn't continue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 376

You deserved it 5 188

Oh hey how are you?

By Shelly - 13/06/2011 02:50 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I pulled over to have sex in his mother's car. It was going great until I leaned back onto the horn, waking up our whole neighborhood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 081

You deserved it 46 230

By MulticoloredSlug - 13/10/2016 10:57 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated. We were having a lot of fun until I decided I wanted to be on top. He instantly got soft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 433

You deserved it 1 416

By rindawg - 20/01/2009 03:55 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend took me out to a nice seafood dinner where we had some great crab legs. Later tonight we drove down to the beach and started messing around. He started touching me... with his hands still covered in salty crab juice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 107

You deserved it 7 145

Next

Top comments

jpgray1982 0

Monday 25 January 2010 16:31

I don't know if that is good or bad... Seahorses rule!

perdix 29

Monday 25 January 2010 16:41

What a crazy, random simile! What does that even mean? Does he want to be pregnant with your babies? Pack on a few more pounds and he'll compare you to a sea cow. Oh, the Hugh Manatee!

Comments

Jestress 0

Wednesday 3 February 2010 4:55

LMAO... not laughing at you. Just at your boyfriends metaphor x]

WordsOfHope 0

Saturday 27 February 2010 16:24

the male seahorse carries the children and gives them birth.

vsk8p1mp720 0

Saturday 27 February 2010 17:46

? sex on the bumper = bumpy wich made him feel like he was on a horse

NinjaSonic 0

Monday 1 March 2010 5:43

Well I guess that's romantic

pokadottz 0

Friday 20 August 2010 3:40

how is this bad?????

Natalie403 6

Sunday 14 November 2010 20:18

Wtf? Lmaooo

bongomanacome 0

Saturday 27 November 2010 8:57

Hi Krissy! No one 'makes love' on the bumper of a car. You were getting ******. And your boyfriend likes ******* seahorses. So there's that.

robotofu 0

Friday 11 February 2011 21:40

yeah, that's not "making love." that's *******.

yummcookie 0

Saturday 5 March 2011 11:39

Was he high?? This isn't really an FML, more like a WTF :P

ohmandapants 16

Tuesday 26 April 2011 4:52

you don't "make love" on a bumper. you **** on a bumper. ...well actually no, you **** on the hood or the trunk or the backseat...dunno why you though the bumper was a good place.

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Keywords

Awkward Friends Love Miscellaneous Cute Haircut Relatable Work Cars You're fired Parenting Kids Family Cats DIY Sex Intimacy Am I overreacting? Poopoo peepee Management Capitalism Coworkers Frustration Transportation ADHD Dogs Animals Dating Mental health Health

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I agree, your life sucks 67 818

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