Intimacy: Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and after a while,...

By sn-511 - 01/03/2013 22:54 - Italy - Naples

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and after a while, she moved her hand down to my crotch. She felt my erection, then got up and yelled at me, calling me a horny pig for "assuming we were going to have sex." FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 036

You deserved it 5 994

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Same thing different taste

Classically Abby

By shesanexnow - 19/08/2022 22:00

Today, my girlfriend screamed that I was a "filthy, sex-crazed pig-man" because I grabbed her ass. We were in her house, alone, and she was in the middle of giving me a long, deep kiss after I'd gotten off work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 329

You deserved it 209

Night terror

By unlovedandunfucked - 10/12/2014 18:16 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I woke up from a wet dream. My girlfriend quickly figured it out and bitched me out for having one when she was "right there" for me to ask for sex. Logic failure aside, the last time I flirted with her, she called me a sex-obsessed pig and didn't talk to me for three days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 768

You deserved it 4 560

By shallowvomit1013 - 23/12/2009 01:09 - United States

Today, my girlfriend came over to my house. Hoping to get a little action, i started to make out with her. Unfortunately I was wearing basketball shorts so when I got an erection all she did was bat it back forth like a cat toy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 042

You deserved it 5 426

Hey good lookin'

By Anonymous - 18/07/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, a "friend" mentioned that my husband was "yummy", then asked if she could "have a turn" with him. I left and went home, outraged. When I told my husband, he couldn't conceal his stupid horny grin, and immediately tried to initiate sex. Pig. FML

I agree, your life sucks 296

You deserved it 556

By Anonymous - 14/03/2013 16:59 - Germany - Dortmund

Today, my girlfriend and I were going to get intimate, so I masturbated before leaving my place, hoping it would help me last longer than usual. 10 minutes in, she shoved me off and started screaming at me, convinced that I've been cheating on her and practising with someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 731

You deserved it 10 556

By Anonymous - 24/04/2013 18:56 - United States - Huntington Park

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend for the first time, and she reached down to feel me up. When her hands got there, she stopped and said, "You're not even hard..." I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82 465

You deserved it 9 862

Smooth talker

By ugh - 31/01/2012 00:25 - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 968

You deserved it 5 604

By shit.... - 08/11/2012 18:25 - Malaysia - Kuala Selangor

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and things started getting pretty hot. That is, until I tried to remove her shirt. Somehow, I managed to grab her pajama shorts and give her a violent wedgie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 636

You deserved it 31 360

Confusing

By so confused - 09/12/2023 15:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me she was sexually frustrated. Naturally, I started coming on to her, only for her to shove me away and snap that just because she was sexually frustrated, it didn't mean that she wanted sex. Huh? FML

I agree, your life sucks 441

You deserved it 218

By arctic1 - 27/05/2009 09:45 - United States

Today, me and my girlfriend were heading back to her place. On the way there, she was rubbing and stroking me. When we got there, I asked her mom for a congrats hug. I forgot I had a hard on from my girlfriend. She felt it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 327

You deserved it 68 710

6tori6 5

Saturday 2 March 2013 2:57

yet she is the one who put her hand down your crotch...

HandaPitler 1

Saturday 2 March 2013 2:57

Women, usually assuming we want to have sex just because we have a boner. i feel your pain op. my ex was the exact same way

Comments

ThatAwkwardDude 12

Sunday 17 August 2014 21:03

She stuck her hand down your pants.. Wtf

slimashli 7

Monday 29 December 2014 6:43

are you guys like 13 or is she psychotic?

ChoolyBooly 32

Sunday 1 February 2015 5:07

Perhaps it is time to ask her if she understands the male anatomy and how a hard on does not make you a horny pig since it is perfectly natural to become erect while making out with someone who you find attractive. If she doesn't believe you then you will know that this is only the beginning of her strange freak outs and you may have to end it if you don't want to deal with it regularly.

breakless1 17

Sunday 1 February 2015 7:43

u dodged a bullet, choose ur next step wisely

jb143 9

Wednesday 18 March 2015 0:57

I'm a girl, and that shit pisses me off, it's not like you choose to get a boner, you can't help it it doesn't make you horny!

hahafail815 3

Wednesday 4 May 2016 3:33

What the hell we get boners when we wake up, randomly, and when a girl has her hand on our dick.

lucasjames22 8

Monday 31 July 2017 0:10

she sounds like a maniac. it's not like you put her hand down there.

marthamydear23 9

Sunday 13 August 2017 23:03

yiur girlfriend sounds like a real bitch and an idiot. I'm sure you could find someone better

I'madumbass 19

Tuesday 19 June 2018 16:42

You see, there is thing called human biology. There's this other thing called the male reproductive system. I suggest she looks at both of these revolutionary ideas