By Anonymous - 14/03/2013 16:59 - Germany - Dortmund

Spicy
Today, my girlfriend and I were going to get intimate, so I masturbated before leaving my place, hoping it would help me last longer than usual. 10 minutes in, she shoved me off and started screaming at me, convinced that I've been cheating on her and practising with someone else. FML
I agree, your life sucks 53 732
You deserved it 10 557
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Top comments

Saone_fml 27

So much for trying to please her... Next time she makes dinner, scream at her that she's cheating on you and practicing cooking for someone else.

517 11

Comments

Applejacks18 15

That's a sticky situation right there

asnakelovinbabe 16

It's also one of the easiest ways to end up with surprise babies! The sperm left in his pipes from his handy-work can end up impregnating her during foreplay if he hasn't put a condom on before even touching her, which, many people don't necessarily put it on right away.

32 12
Llama_Face89 33

1- ...I hate you.

13 4
Airman1988 9

I think his women just has a bad case of stupid it has really been going around lately.

39 8
rangerPat 12

Woman* -- If you're going to insult someone for being stupid, don't make a stupid mistake.

54 21
honeybadgerDG2S 2

It's because he didn't let her go to the sleep over.

16 15
Airman1988 9

Actually 41 the E is very close to the A on my tiny phone touchscreen, it was merely a typo.

26 4
natsaysheyyy 16

That's what you get for trying to make her happy? Wow. I'd be overjoyed instead of a paranoid bitch.

9 1
Nicholi124 10

Longer than ten minutes I would think that she would be happy because nothing more upsets a girl than a guy coming up short!

10 1
Saone_fml 27

So much for trying to please her... Next time she makes dinner, scream at her that she's cheating on you and practicing cooking for someone else.

517 11
jarrettd 27

Don't you EVER try to make your girlfriend happy op. What were you thinking?

60 1
seeoseek 18

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

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isallwaysme 27

You resemble Meryl from the walking dead- just a tad though. Maybe its something to do with the facial hair

14 8
Catkam623 27

My god, he does. Sir you are an ass and cutting your arm off is probably the most useful thing you've ever done.

24 2
ohcoolstorybro 14

Did you try and cum to terms with her?

137 10
zandalee 19

Wow. Why on earth are you with someone who doesn't trust you at all?

84 3
supportcommand 17

At the very least we know she puts out.

31 3
zandalee 19

Thanks for that giggle guys! I needed that!! :)

7 4
Catkam623 27

Cat? Or are you referring to my baby either one works.

4 6
eaglerob 20

Just fake it next time you're giving her the business end of your stick, my friend

19 3