Intimacy: Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and after a while,...

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By sn-511 - 01/03/2013 22:54 - Italy - Naples

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and after a while, she moved her hand down to my crotch. She felt my erection, then got up and yelled at me, calling me a horny pig for "assuming we were going to have sex." FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 047

You deserved it 5 995

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Same thing different taste

Classically Abby

By shesanexnow - 19/08/2022 22:00

Today, my girlfriend screamed that I was a "filthy, sex-crazed pig-man" because I grabbed her ass. We were in her house, alone, and she was in the middle of giving me a long, deep kiss after I'd gotten off work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 341

You deserved it 211

Night terror

By unlovedandunfucked - 10/12/2014 18:16 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I woke up from a wet dream. My girlfriend quickly figured it out and bitched me out for having one when she was "right there" for me to ask for sex. Logic failure aside, the last time I flirted with her, she called me a sex-obsessed pig and didn't talk to me for three days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 781

You deserved it 4 561

Finger wagging

By Anonymous - 16/12/2024 14:00 - United States - Edison

Today, my normally-prudish girlfriend grabbed my crotch and said, "I want you to fuck me like I've never been fucked." I obliged. She loved it, until after we'd finished, when she decided that she felt "cheap, gross, and used" and started a huge fight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 529

You deserved it 112

By shallowvomit1013 - 23/12/2009 01:09 - United States

Today, my girlfriend came over to my house. Hoping to get a little action, i started to make out with her. Unfortunately I was wearing basketball shorts so when I got an erection all she did was bat it back forth like a cat toy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 054

You deserved it 5 435

Hey good lookin'

By Anonymous - 18/07/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, a "friend" mentioned that my husband was "yummy", then asked if she could "have a turn" with him. I left and went home, outraged. When I told my husband, he couldn't conceal his stupid horny grin, and immediately tried to initiate sex. Pig. FML

I agree, your life sucks 330

You deserved it 641

By Anonymous - 14/03/2013 16:59 - Germany - Dortmund

Today, my girlfriend and I were going to get intimate, so I masturbated before leaving my place, hoping it would help me last longer than usual. 10 minutes in, she shoved me off and started screaming at me, convinced that I've been cheating on her and practising with someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 797

You deserved it 10 569

By Anonymous - 24/04/2013 18:56 - United States - Huntington Park

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend for the first time, and she reached down to feel me up. When her hands got there, she stopped and said, "You're not even hard..." I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82 476

You deserved it 9 865

Smooth talker

By ugh - 31/01/2012 00:25 - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 980

You deserved it 5 610

By shit.... - 08/11/2012 18:25 - Malaysia - Kuala Selangor

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and things started getting pretty hot. That is, until I tried to remove her shirt. Somehow, I managed to grab her pajama shorts and give her a violent wedgie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 638

You deserved it 31 365

Confusing

By so confused - 09/12/2023 15:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me she was sexually frustrated. Naturally, I started coming on to her, only for her to shove me away and snap that just because she was sexually frustrated, it didn't mean that she wanted sex. Huh? FML

I agree, your life sucks 479

You deserved it 228

6tori6 5

Saturday 2 March 2013 2:57

yet she is the one who put her hand down your crotch...

HandaPitler 1

Saturday 2 March 2013 2:57

Women, usually assuming we want to have sex just because we have a boner. i feel your pain op. my ex was the exact same way

Comments

mikex31 4

Monday 11 March 2013 15:16

Well she didn't learn anything in high school

Dontbelikeme 2

Monday 11 March 2013 17:06

If I were you I would have laughed and just said your clearly crazy and just left hahaha

Ibeatmyself 3

Tuesday 12 March 2013 0:49

What does she expect is going to happen

MrAndrewJ 3

Tuesday 12 March 2013 2:13

This is abusive. I'm not even making a joke. This person has just tried to belittle and dehumanize you for one of the worst reasons any person could do that to another. Get as far away from her as possible without hesitation. Been there. Done that. Have the scars to prove it. This is no less abusive than any man calling a woman horrible names for her choices about her body. Whoever you are, you deserve better.

Donnie_Murray 8

Monday 18 March 2013 4:19

Stupid girlfriend.

LebanonBaby 26

Sunday 24 March 2013 1:38

LOL wtf this made me laugh !

aestheticincolor 1

Thursday 30 May 2013 22:26

Oh yes its all your fault for making out with your probably hot girlfriend, you *****... not?

forresttufte 4

Saturday 28 September 2013 2:43

How old are you exactly?

Ugi 26

Tuesday 3 December 2013 18:18

She can't have had many encounters with guys if she was surprised by that. I wonder how old you both are. When someone makes you angry your body gets ready to beat the shit out of them - it doesn't mean that you expect to do that, but you have a reflex that makes sure you are ready if you need to. Same situation here.