Intimacy: Today, I was making out with my girlfriend for the first time,...

By Anonymous - 24/04/2013 18:56 - United States - Huntington Park

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend for the first time, and she reached down to feel me up. When her hands got there, she stopped and said, "You're not even hard..." I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82 461

You deserved it 9 862

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Same thing different taste

By illequipt - 16/03/2009 03:20 - Canada

Today, I was fooling around with my girlfriend for the first time. She put her hand on my cock over my jeans and said, "Get hard for me." I was hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 204 557

You deserved it 32 062

By arctic1 - 27/05/2009 09:45 - United States

Today, me and my girlfriend were heading back to her place. On the way there, she was rubbing and stroking me. When we got there, I asked her mom for a congrats hug. I forgot I had a hard on from my girlfriend. She felt it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 324

You deserved it 68 694

Feelings

By Anonymous - 29/07/2013 00:46 - United States - Beaumont

Today, my girlfriend and I were going at it doggy style, really fast, when she started laughing. I asked her what was so amusing and she giggled, "I can't feel anything in there." FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 600

You deserved it 9 796

Like a virgin

By chchboy - 22/05/2012 05:05 - United States

Today, I went all the way for the first time with my girlfriend. After I had finished, she asked me, "What just happened? Was that sex?" I wasn't sure either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 149

You deserved it 7 121

By sixsix - 24/12/2008 11:19 - France

Today, I made love to my girlfriend. I penetrated her for a while, then stopped to get my breath back... She carried on moaning even though I'd stopped moving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 176

You deserved it 8 660

By herve - 22/05/2009 19:50 - Lebanon

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years and I decided to have sex for the first time. When we were in the room, finally ready to start, she confessed that she had never seen a penis before. To make her more comfortable, I showed her mine. At the sight of it, well, she actually fainted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 017

You deserved it 11 617

By whatswrongwithit?:( - 30/09/2012 19:37 - United States - Chicago

Today, as my girlfriend and I were making out, I slowly took my clothes off and revealed my body to her for the first time. She looked, smiled, and said reassuringly, "Aww, don't worry. I know how it's supposed to look." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 473

You deserved it 3 668

By katie - 25/05/2011 08:23

Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, and she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 972

You deserved it 19 172

By Anonymous - 30/06/2019 16:06

Today, while making out with my boyfriend, I started to put my hands down his pants and jokingly said, "Sorry, I'm not very good at hand jobs." He replied, "I know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 928

You deserved it 785

By Anon. - 01/03/2011 23:51 - United States

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 613

You deserved it 91 016

DocBastard 38

Wednesday 24 April 2013 23:44

You sure were hard... Hard to find.

cuddly_scorpion 4

Wednesday 24 April 2013 23:36

Well, shit.

Comments

SirTalkaton 22

Thursday 25 April 2013 21:52

Get the pump bro!

bocefus 6

Thursday 25 April 2013 22:49

Baby penis

_shortshit 3

Friday 26 April 2013 3:04

Did anyone else notice that this story is EXACTLY like the one when a guy was making out with a girl & she said "get hard for me" & he said "i was"

Marblecakelolz 11

Friday 26 April 2013 10:20

Why would someone even say that? If your guy isn't hard, then get down there and suck until he is.

amifaiyaz 12

Saturday 27 April 2013 23:07

Maybe try harder next time.

steam_engenius 21

Sunday 28 April 2013 2:16

Who even says that??

Louis1992 9

Monday 29 April 2013 8:52

All u need is an older woman. These young cats don't know what they are doing.

toastedjellybowl 7

Sunday 12 May 2013 21:08

Well, some people do not get fully erect if they are nervous. You may think you are hard, but in reality you are only partially hard.

KevinFlynn 13

Thursday 27 June 2013 22:21

oooo. sucks man

Mortoli 30

Saturday 8 February 2014 19:36

I know your pain

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Today, I told my supervisor that I want to do the work I was hired to do, which is Data Engineer. He told me he doesn't have the workload for another data engineer, and needs someone with people skills. He's very happy with the current situation. I left my previous job because of the same problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 005

You deserved it 98

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The Top

Today, while I was walking along the sidewalk, someone passed by and said, "Tuck that nose in." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 744

You deserved it 159

Today, I, a grown man in his 30’s, fell asleep and pissed myself like a 2 year-old at bedtime. I was at work on my dinner break and had taken a nap on the break room sofa, which is now soaked in my pee, and I have no change of clothes. Twenty coworkers and 5 senior management all know it was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 882

You deserved it 321

Today, at the healthy age of 26, I broke my hip during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 175

You deserved it 1 360

Today, my friends decided it would be funny to engage the child locks on the rear doors of my SUV. My SUV has a bolted cage for the dog separating the front from the back. Guess who was locked in their own car for 2 hours? FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 566

You deserved it 4 260

Today, in a crowded hallway, I saw the guy I fancy standing in front of me, with his arms open wide. Thinking he wanted to hug me, I wrapped my arms around him and stepped back. He looked at me like I was nuts. I then realised he was trying to hug the girl next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 632

You deserved it 635

Today, and lately, my dad has an annoying habit of knowing where I’ve been, even though I never go anywhere worth mentioning. On a hunch, I checked my phone and it turns out he’s been tracking my location. I’ve literally done nothing to deserve this lack of trust, and now I think I hate him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 183

You deserved it 207

Same thing different taste

Feelings

Like a virgin

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