Intimacy: Today, I was making out with my girlfriend for the first time,...

By Anonymous - 24/04/2013 18:56 - United States - Huntington Park

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend for the first time, and she reached down to feel me up. When her hands got there, she stopped and said, "You're not even hard..." I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82 461

You deserved it 9 862

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Same thing different taste

By illequipt - 16/03/2009 03:20 - Canada

Today, I was fooling around with my girlfriend for the first time. She put her hand on my cock over my jeans and said, "Get hard for me." I was hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 204 557

You deserved it 32 062

By arctic1 - 27/05/2009 09:45 - United States

Today, me and my girlfriend were heading back to her place. On the way there, she was rubbing and stroking me. When we got there, I asked her mom for a congrats hug. I forgot I had a hard on from my girlfriend. She felt it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 324

You deserved it 68 694

Feelings

By Anonymous - 29/07/2013 00:46 - United States - Beaumont

Today, my girlfriend and I were going at it doggy style, really fast, when she started laughing. I asked her what was so amusing and she giggled, "I can't feel anything in there." FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 600

You deserved it 9 796

Like a virgin

By chchboy - 22/05/2012 05:05 - United States

Today, I went all the way for the first time with my girlfriend. After I had finished, she asked me, "What just happened? Was that sex?" I wasn't sure either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 149

You deserved it 7 121

By sixsix - 24/12/2008 11:19 - France

Today, I made love to my girlfriend. I penetrated her for a while, then stopped to get my breath back... She carried on moaning even though I'd stopped moving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 176

You deserved it 8 660

By herve - 22/05/2009 19:50 - Lebanon

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years and I decided to have sex for the first time. When we were in the room, finally ready to start, she confessed that she had never seen a penis before. To make her more comfortable, I showed her mine. At the sight of it, well, she actually fainted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 017

You deserved it 11 617

By whatswrongwithit?:( - 30/09/2012 19:37 - United States - Chicago

Today, as my girlfriend and I were making out, I slowly took my clothes off and revealed my body to her for the first time. She looked, smiled, and said reassuringly, "Aww, don't worry. I know how it's supposed to look." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 473

You deserved it 3 668

By katie - 25/05/2011 08:23

Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, and she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 972

You deserved it 19 172

By Anonymous - 30/06/2019 16:06

Today, while making out with my boyfriend, I started to put my hands down his pants and jokingly said, "Sorry, I'm not very good at hand jobs." He replied, "I know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 928

You deserved it 785

By Anon. - 01/03/2011 23:51 - United States

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 613

You deserved it 91 016

DocBastard 38

Wednesday 24 April 2013 23:44

You sure were hard... Hard to find.

cuddly_scorpion 4

Wednesday 24 April 2013 23:36

Well, shit.

Comments

Luckyu77 5

Thursday 25 April 2013 5:19

I've been in her shoes. sorry to hear

edgar20 7

Thursday 25 April 2013 5:22

id suggest her to get a black dude then...

RavenCheyenneC 12

Thursday 25 April 2013 6:07

She's to young for you bro.

M3DIC4T3 29

Thursday 25 April 2013 7:30

Tell her she's feeling the wrong place OP. Then watch her struggle to find anything...

volklskis 7

Thursday 25 April 2013 7:31

Dude, that sucks. Only other guys can relate.

ViviMage 38

Thursday 25 April 2013 15:53

I love how most of these comments are on size. Me, I wonder if its your weight that makes you feel soft.

DDCA 24

Thursday 25 April 2013 17:18

A hard man is good to find.

aimeecuria 9

Thursday 25 April 2013 18:36

I know a place you can get weener enlargements

King_paradox 22

Thursday 25 April 2013 19:28

Girl friend of the year award

jeragonm 15

Thursday 25 April 2013 19:53

So your little Richard really is little then?

Keywords

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The Top

Today, while on vacation, I realized my parents and grandparents had been running off and doing quite a few errands lately. After doing some sleuthing, I discovered they were taking turns having blood-curdling sex in our other hotel room down the hall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 712

You deserved it 11 210

Stop everything you're doing right now, there's an (almost) naked lady in today's illustration! Plus, there's a puppet AND doctors. It's the perfect illustration, made by Gemma Correll, our British artist of the day. Check out her interview! ...

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

The Top

Today, I had to go through the embarrassment and pain of telling my parents I was pregnant. I took the test and it came out positive and I was freaking out. I got grounded for the rest of the year and they're really disappointed in me. Five minutes ago, I got my period. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 878

You deserved it 29 908

Today, my grandma told me point-blank that she despises gays, but that she'll go to my wedding for the booze and nothing more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 537

You deserved it 5 124

Today, I came home to my boyfriend emptying his bowels into my aquarium. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 847

You deserved it 3 112

Today, I realized that I wasted my time in college. I'm supposed to graduate next month, and I hate the career I'm going into. I could've focused on recruiting and easily found a job I would enjoy, but I decided to waste my time watching YouTube videos and playing video games that I'm not even good at. FML

I agree, your life sucks 233

You deserved it 1 527

Today, while on the train to university, I realized it was my stop and quickly stood up to get off. Or I would have, if my leg hadn't gone to sleep and caused me to fall, landing face first into the crotch of the old guy in front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 462

You deserved it 2 829

Today, I logged onto Final Fantasy XIV to enjoy the new expansion, and had to wait through an hour queue of almost 2k people. I made it all the way to number 88 in line, when the servers crashed. By the time I got back in, I was put in a new queue over 2k long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 990

You deserved it 330

Same thing different taste

Feelings

Like a virgin

Top comments

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