By Sady_Ct - 16/06/2016 11:01 - Australia - Geelong
I agree, your life sucks
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Sady_Ct
37
Hey guys, OP here... Wow! My first FML posted. To explain the situation, I was talking with my mum about how I'm unable to have kids due to physical issues with my body, my spine etc, all of which contribute to my financial and mental/emotional state. When some psycho storms up to me in the food court and screamed at me. What I actually do is help build the education funds for my nieces for when they grow up. Thanks for the support for everyone who understands... I get it on a weekly basis from everyone, including my partners family, and really gets under the skin. My father told me on his birthday at the start of the month that if I'm not pregnant by the end of the year he doesn't want to see me any more.. It's hard and it hurts, but i would never put a child of mine through what I went through. Thanks again for all your support! ^_^
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If you can't provide for a child, then you are making the right decision by not having one. Don't listen to those people. The choice is yours, and choosing not to have children does not make you either selfish or a bitch.
I feel you. I have a few health problems I'm not crazy about passing down, and I'm not financially or emotionally ready for kids. But that doesn't stop everyone, including people I don't even know, from trying to pressure me about it. I just tell them I probably can't have children and make them feel awkward. Works every time.
There is nothing more selfish than wanting to reproduce. Well, except maybe expecting *other* people to reproduce.
Having kids should NOT be a societal obligation. Raising kids is not an easy task, it changes your entire life and takes up a massive amount of your time, and money. Fr many different reasons, Some people just won't make good parents, and strong-arming them into having kids regardless, be it through shame or other means, is not only dangerous for the children who may not get the support they need, but it's dangerous for said parents and society as a whole as well. Having a dysfunctional upbringing can be a catalyst for many behavioural issues further in life. And besides, if there's anything the world needs, it's not an ever increasing population.
What in gods green earth is wrong with people??!! It's 2016 for chrissake. Women are no longer valued only as breeders. I'm right there with you. When I imagine having children I mentally cringe. My husband and I are very happy just as we are, sans children. Long ago I bred my dog and gave my mother one of the puppies and informed her that it would be the only "grandchild" she ever got from me. She still has it and loves it.
Sady_Ct
37
Well said #52. As for a dysfunctional upbringing causing further issues down the line... I had a dysfunctional up bringing, as did my brother. Neither of us have even had a traffic infringement. So maybe I would be a better parent because I know what NOT to do. Saying someone from a dysfunctional up bringing would make a bad parent isn't very nice. One of the things that puts me off kids is the ferals (not all kids) you see in public causing problems. When it comes to raising kids... Not my thing no matter how *ready* I am. Dogs cats and horses however I have no issues with. My mum loves my first kids and they love their *nanny* and go nuts when she comes over and sulk if she doesn't cuddle them. They regularly go for sleepovers with her dog and cat as well. On the whole, for all those people out there who don't cave to families/society's demands wether or not to have kids... And do your own thing, Good on you!
Yeah, I've grown up in a dysfunctional family too. It does make being a good parent harder, that's definitely true. I try to be very aware and reflective of actions I take with my kids, how I talk to them, to make sure I avoid making mistakes that unnerved or disgruntled me in my own upbringing. But so far I think I'm doing OK. My kids are very active but not feral, creative and compassionate.
i actually love this fml because of the reason that youre thinking ahead about yourself and what kind of life you could even give your kids and i have so much respect for you for that. if youre not ready then youre not ready and its truly amazing that there are still people in this world who have a good head on their shoulders to make the conscious decision to wait to have children instead of popping them out just so they get more money from the government. good on you, anyone who tells you otherwise is an inconsiderate asshole. its your body and you do with it as you please. and also, all these people who just expect you to have children...are they going to pay for them and take care of them for pretty much the duration of your life and theirs?(because children are a lifelong investment) no? then fuckem. youre a good person op.
species4872
19
It is unfortunate for anyone who wants kids and can't have them for one reason or another. As for others who are able to have kids and decide not to well that decision is yours and it's not being selfish in any way. There are those people who are unable or unwilling to accept why anyone would make such a decision, but to call those people ignorant or idiots or any other color full adjectives like that makes you just as bad as you perceive them to be. A final thought, kids are what you leave this world, they are your legacy....
Aya_rose
5
I understand you completely. My mother in law pushed my partner and I of 8 years about having kids...neither of us want to. I'm 4'7" tall, have two uteruses, and 1 kidney, and we don't have space in our house or the finances for them. People really need to butt out of other people's personal business..especially when it comes to their wombs.
even the Bible condemns those that condemn you on this issue. You just saves some innocent souls from torment of living.
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Yes, because refusing to put kids in a position that is detrimental to their mental, emotional, and physical health is such a selfish thing. Or refusing to add more kids to the already overpopulated planetary population. You aren't selfish, and they're idiots.
It's no one's business if you don't want to have children, and your father is a callous idiot for giving you that ultimatum. Besides, you're doing a noble act by placing funds for your nieces' futures. Keep doing what you're doing, OP. Don't let people try to shame you into something you'll regret.