Health: Today, I was out clubbing, when some bloke at the bar started...

By Anonymous - 24/12/2011 02:49 - Australia

Today, I was out clubbing, when some bloke at the bar started trying to pick fights with everyone. Trying to defuse the situation with humour, I said, "I used to be a tough guy like you. Then I took an arrow in the knee." The next thing I know, I have a broken nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 151

You deserved it 41 744

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Same thing different taste

Fight Club

By MyFaceHurts - 03/08/2010 10:40 - United States

Today, while at a local bar, my friends and I were approached by an overly intoxicated man who asked us each politely if we wanted to fight. Thinking it was a joke, I said yes. It wasn't a joke, I now have a broken nose and a black eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 857

You deserved it 55 526

Pace yourself

By Anonymous - 20/02/2021 11:01

Today, for my 18th birthday, I went out to a club with my mate and I drank so much I ended up breaking my nose. I was there for an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 297

You deserved it 1 114

By brokennose - 26/08/2009 04:40 - United States

Today, I was at the bar and my friend and I were making fun of this guy wearing a Affliction muscle tee and bedazzled Ed Hardy hat. We were saying how he was the epitome of a douche bag and that he probably likes UFC. Turns out he's an MMA fighter and I now have a broken nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 783

You deserved it 67 562

Tough guy, huh?

By Anonymous - 14/06/2012 20:59 - United Kingdom - Croydon

Today, my face got intimate with several plywood boards, and I suffered lacerations and bruising. I told my friends I got the wounds from taking a few guys down in a bar fight. Now they're dragging me out into a rough part of town to give them "muscle" while they try to score some crack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 342

You deserved it 44 305

By Anonymous - 13/04/2016 08:25

Today, I woke up in hospital after a night of heavy drinking. My friends told me I was beat up by the doorman. After going to the club to watch the security footage, it was revealed I actually fell on my face trying to fight, and caused more damage to myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 568

You deserved it 11 410

By lehonj49 - 21/06/2013 16:10 - Australia - Burwood

Today, after years of battling my social anxiety issues, I went out clubbing with my friends. A girl started talking to me and we actually hit it off. The next thing I know, I'm on the floor getting wailed on by some bloke for hitting on his girlfriend. She didn't do a thing to stop him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 853

You deserved it 3 688

By shalara - 15/06/2012 20:23 - Netherlands - Amstelveen

Today, I was walking down the street, when I saw a guy in front of me trip and fall forwards, and I quickly jumped forward to steady him. Apparently he thought he was being mugged, and threw his head backwards into my face, leaving my nose a bloody mess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 226

You deserved it 2 475

By deven - 29/08/2009 22:58 - United States

Today, I saw a fight so I went over to try and break it up. Someone thought I wanted to join in, so he gave me an unexpected whap in the happy sacks, and I also got a bloody nose for my troubles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 737

You deserved it 44 797

By ThisIsWhyIStayAtHome - 24/05/2014 00:09 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I was at a nightclub when some dick squeezed the ass of the girl beside me. She whirled around and started yelling and slapping me across the face. I was dragged out by the bouncers, to cheers from the people around us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 323

You deserved it 3 408

By itstillhurts - 21/12/2009 04:23 - United Kingdom

Today, I was down the pub with a mate and we got onto the subject of bar fights. I said I thought being glassed wouldn't actually hurt that much. My friend looks at me, calmly finishes his pint and then swiftly smashes his glass over my head. Turns out I was wrong. And we got kicked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 568

You deserved it 35 757

MrSassypants 32

Saturday 24 December 2011 5:52

"I used to tell people took an arrow to the knee, but then I took a fist to the nose." - OP

friedchickenpie 14

Saturday 24 December 2011 5:58

I used to hate that quote, but I took a Skyrim to the addiction section of my brain.

Comments

danielwerder 3

Saturday 24 December 2011 10:41

gotta say who uses that in real life, it tends to be on the internet that its better used and the quotes a peice of shit

lolitaroze 8

Saturday 24 December 2011 10:42

D---> I used to serve the Highb100d, then I took an arrow to the knee.

Ecklcakes 15

Saturday 24 December 2011 10:44

After he hit you I bet the drunk guy said, "What's wrong? Someone steal your sweetroll?"

xoxPatrina 8

Saturday 24 December 2011 11:08

Why would you mouth off to a drunk guy whose already trying to kick everyones ass? Obviously you were destined to get your ass kicked.

SpruceDread4578 13

Saturday 24 December 2011 11:11

Downloading Skyrim as a torrent right now! Should be fun!

gordongekko_fml 1

Saturday 24 December 2011 11:19

I think you left out the part describing the humor you used

dannemp 7

Saturday 24 December 2011 11:27

Arrow jokes don't bring any good

brianod 0

Saturday 24 December 2011 11:36

never.do.that.in.public

ryanf395 1

Saturday 24 December 2011 11:37

I hear "let me guess, someone stole ur sweetroll" more often than the arrow one and i get cut, mainly because, no my sweetroll wasnt stolen but i was being chased by half a dozen bandits, a dragon and a dragon priest in the middle of the wilderness. Oh and i 4got to mention my horse was dead