Health: Today, I was out for a walk, wearing a T-shirt with a fist on...

By fisted - 12/06/2015 13:42 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I was out for a walk, wearing a T-shirt with a fist on it and the words "Bump it." A guy came up to me, looked at my shirt, shrugged, and punched me in the stomach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 947

You deserved it 11 737

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Same thing different taste

By Anon - 12/01/2012 19:24 - United States

Today, I tried to give my friend a fist bump. He thought I was trying to punch him so he punched me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 474

You deserved it 5 357

By Anonymous - 08/01/2011 07:56 - United States

Today, on the way to work, I was punched in the balls by a complete stranger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 085

You deserved it 4 265

By ManInPain - 12/07/2011 16:46 - United States

Today, I was walking down the street to go to the movies, when I got punched in the back of the head. When I turned around, a stranger said, "HAHA! It's punch a random person day!" When I asked him why he chose me, he replied "You're ugly." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 133

You deserved it 4 907

By Marc - 06/02/2012 21:43 - United States

Today, while I was standing in line at the store, some guy insulted the girl in front of me as he walked past. She turned around and socked me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 941

You deserved it 2 189

Captain Badass

By NotAsToughAsHeThinks - 14/02/2011 03:25 - United States

Today, a man pulled me violently into an alleyway and informed me I was being mugged. Being a body-builder, I said, "Oh yeah? Go on then." He kicked my ass in a matter of seconds, stole my wallet, then farted on my bruised face. He called me a wimp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 162

You deserved it 54 043

By Anonymous - 30/04/2012 21:46 - United States - Tampa

Today, I was walking home, when I saw a homeless man trying to tear the wallet out of another guy's hand. I can't stand bums, so I smacked him across the jaw. That's when the other one kneed me in the balls and made off with my wallet as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 815

You deserved it 43 271

By sociallyawkward - 19/05/2016 01:52 - United States - Atlanta

Today, I fistbumped a cashier as they tried to hand me my change. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 696

You deserved it 3 513

By Anonymous - 27/05/2011 14:00 - Belgium

Today, I was walking home when a stranger came up to me and told me to give him a good reason why he shouldn't punch me in the face. I guess none were good enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 175

You deserved it 4 167

Stranger danger

By erin - 02/04/2021 10:59

Today, I saw a girl with the same shirt as me. I excitedly pointed it out. She punched me in the face. I didn’t think people actually got mad about that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 017

You deserved it 116

By Karate Kid - 25/05/2012 06:29 - Australia - Surry Hills

Today, I was showing some new karate moves in the park to my friends. I mimed a punch behind a girl walking past to show my technique and control, but she must have seen me. She turned around and kicked me in the stomach. To add insult to injury, her technique was better than mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 972

You deserved it 35 381

pabj208 23

Friday 12 June 2015 18:50

I think you had that coming...

brendejafulable 41

Friday 12 June 2015 18:50

You set your own self up for that.

Comments

tranced_ 45

Friday 12 June 2015 19:05

Maybe I should start wearing t-shirts with a "hug me or **** off" on it. .ohh wait I do !

ZoeeeGuyss 18

Friday 12 June 2015 19:06

You could've bumped him back.

jberg583 12

Friday 12 June 2015 19:11

I agree with #4.... Bump it... Not punch it

Cassandra2015 21

Friday 12 June 2015 19:12

I would have fist pumped him back

AyeJay101 25

Friday 12 June 2015 19:17

Well did you "bump" him back? In the face? With a chair?

ProSwimmerFL 16

Friday 12 June 2015 19:20

In his defense your shirt told him too , try again OP

CLT_420 13

Friday 12 June 2015 19:23

You had it coming bro

Zebediabolical 39

Friday 12 June 2015 19:36

Past-me trolls current-me all the ******* time. But he makes up for it by hiding money in coat pockets for future-me to find when the seasons change.

migmit 11

Friday 12 June 2015 19:36

You were asking for it. Literally.

S_Gnu 17

Friday 12 June 2015 19:38

Sounds like a New Yorker

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The Top

Today, after being so jaded by failed relationships, I'd given a guy who slid into my Facebook Messenger a chance. We'd entered the talking stage, only to be told four months later that he’s found a girlfriend, and no longer wants to continue this interaction and blocked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 634

You deserved it 277

Today, while I was mid-act with my girlfriend, my mom unlocked my bedroom door and came in shaking maracas. She then handed them to my very shocked girlfriend and told her these were the "Busted maracas" and directed her to pass them along accordingly. Well, at least our first time was memorable… FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 441

You deserved it 365

The Top

Today, I walked into a wall, smashing my laptop into the top of my eye socket. This was all because I was carrying my laptop, phone and chocolate mug cake, all while trying to watch Netflix on said laptop. I feel like a 2016 cliché. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 036

You deserved it 16 205

Today, thanks to my ex-husband's misogyny, my son is now convinced girls are inherently weaker and that if he had to, he could beat any woman in a fight, even if she was a trained martial artist or a soldier, because, "Men are the stronger gender." I can kick both their asses, husband and son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 261

You deserved it 277

Today, my girlfriend told me the reason why my credit card mysteriously maxed out 2 months ago 'might have been' because she posted a picture of it on Facebook. I ordered a new credit card without the custom picture of us immediately. She broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 522

You deserved it 6 135

Today, I was buying condoms but was a little embarrassed so I went to the self-check. I scanned the condoms, then a magazine and tried to put the condoms under the magazines to hide them. The store guy saw me, thought I was shoplifting and I was kicked out of the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 846

You deserved it 15 941

Today, I was sitting at home, venting to my parents about how I never get asked out by any of the guys at school. My Dad's words of wisdom were, "Don't worry, looks don't matter so much in college. Once they've had a few beers in them, they'll date anything." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 284

You deserved it 4 643

Today, I sent an email to my teacher asking if a source was a primary source, he replied yes. I got my grade back for my essay and it was worse than I expected. My teacher said it was because I didn't use a primary source. I showed him the email, to which he replied, "Well, I was wrong in the email." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 561

You deserved it 1 797

Same thing different taste

Captain Badass

Stranger danger

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